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Working on a campus as an older single has become torture
#1
As some you may know I work an office job within a large university campus.

Lately I've begun to feel like a loser just being here.

I can only be honest about this: if a member of the opposite sex generally looks like an adult (over 20) there’s a good chance I’ll find them attractive irrespective of creepy age gaps. It would be social suicide to admit that I found a lot of the women/girls walking around campus attractive at my age, it's not like I can control a lower brain reaction though.

For a long while working here wasn't such a bad thing. A parent was terminally ill and I needed a stable job quickly, so I just went straight into the nearest job here at 26. It was an easy, short term solution I thought, but I've been here ever since. I could pass for quite a bit younger and for a while this became a crutch used to delude myself into thinking I was at an earlier stage of life... still sort of a student finding his way. During my 30s I even did a postgrad qualification in library and archives to make it look like my life was going somewhere.

What an idiot.

Jobs outside the university on the ground at the moment, and seeing all the young people in their social circles is beginning to drive me crazy now.

Younger socially awkward types considering working as a tutor, low grade research assistant or general staff member at a university/college might want to give some thought as to why they're really going down this road.

It can be a trap, you don't have to leave university, move on with your life and face the real world in the private job market. Cling onto youth for a few more years. Then suddenly you're 35 with no relevant real world experience, having to see 18-24 year olds enjoying the best part of their lives while yours feels like it's over.

TL;DR Unless you're passionate and gifted in a particular field and looking for a tenured academic position, not recommended. Campuses are awful places for older single people.
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#2
Though it was largely through my own lack of social and life skills at the time, the 4 or so years I spent at Victoria University (from around 19-to 23) were probably the most socially isolating, regretful years of my life.
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#3
Many people in their early 40s or even early 50s can pass for an undergrad in a university environment. In that environment, many people are assumed to be young.

When I started working in an office job in my mid-20s, I was surprised that people who were 32-34 looked so young - I thought they were my age or younger.

I look old for my age, and I'm penalized severely for that, in all areas of life. When I've gone to meetups for "young professionals" - I can tell people think I don't fit into that age group, though I do.
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#4
Couldn’t almost any job be considered awful places for older single people? I see the issue with people much younger living life to its fullest in front of you daily. But it’s no walk in the park working with an age group in the same decade bracket who have kids and spouses and are always talking about them. I think you’d still feel light years away from them socially too.
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#5
I know what you mean.  For one, being embarrassed of one's timid attraction to someone who logically is most likely far too young.  For two, worrying about the creep factor.  When you break it down to basic biology though, you are simply talking about attraction to some one of the opposite sex, procreation.  As far as reasonable age differences go, though, 24-25 years and up is acceptable, I think, at the age of 35.  I guess I wouldn't know the answer to your particular dilemma; and, I doubt at my age and situation I could avoid such situations.  I've no degree and no particular professional experience.

Although, you could always look at John McAfee.  lol.  He didn't mind hanging with the younger girls...  Although, some of that may have only been legal in Belize...

Just dress real fancy like.  Get yourself a nice suit, some nice shirts, and a set of ties.  Then get yourself a boot, and wear it on your head to work.  It'll confuse the fuck out of everybody so much you won't be worried about the sexy young things anymore, and they'll forget they have the biological/socio-sexual upper-hand... cuz... ya know... you have a damn boot on your head...  Tuesday you could wear a banana on your head...  And then Friday could be boot-free day.  You could just strut your peacock feathers... and if anyone asks where the boot or the banana is you could say, very sternly, "Fridays are for fun..."  And if anyone asks why you have a boot on your head you just say, "all boot queries must be submitted to this address (hand them a white business card with the words (BOOT HAT INQUIRIES) and an address (you get a PO box, specifically for boot inqueiries.).)  And of course, take the boot off in places where a hat would be unacceptable attire, etc.. etc..
"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard inner battle."
-Namu Amida Butsu
--Hippo Sad
---May your jimmies be forever unrustled...
----"At fifteen life had taught me undeniably that surrender, in its place, was as honorable as resistance, especially if one had no choice." -Maya Angelou
-----"Lack of personal justice does not excuse one's own ignorance.  Do not be blinded by the wrongs done to you, lest you stumble and wrong others."
------"...There's jazz going on..." -Alan Watts
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#6
(07-21-2019, 05:47 PM)TropicalStarfish Wrote: Just dress real fancy like.  Get yourself a nice suit, some nice shirts, and a set of ties.  Then get yourself a boot, and wear it on your head to work.  It'll confuse the fuck out of everybody so much you won't be worried about the sexy young things anymore, and they'll forget they have the biological/socio-sexual upper-hand... cuz... ya know... you have a damn boot on your head...  Tuesday you could wear a banana on your head...  And then Friday could be boot-free day.  You could just strut your peacock feathers... and if anyone asks where the boot or the banana is you could say, very sternly, "Fridays are for fun..."  And if anyone asks why you have a boot on your head you just say, "all boot queries must be submitted to this address (hand them a white business card with the words (BOOT HAT INQUIRIES) and an address (you get a PO box, specifically for boot inqueiries.).)  And of course, take the boot off in places where a hat would be unacceptable attire, etc.. etc..

How do I keep the boot attached to my head?
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#7
[Image: vETbYiG.jpg]
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#8
That man is everything I aspire to be
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Think of me long enough to make a memory
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#9
This all just made me laugh out loud... ( not the Op) but everything that followed... so thank you, I needed that today!
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."
— Dr. Seuss
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