ardour
Well known loser
As some you may know I work an office job within a large university campus.
Lately I've begun to feel like a loser just being here.
I can only be honest about this: if a member of the opposite sex generally looks like an adult (over 20) there’s a good chance I’ll find them attractive irrespective of creepy age gaps. It would be social suicide to admit that I found a lot of the women/girls walking around campus attractive at my age, it's not like I can control a lower brain reaction though.
For a long while working here wasn't such a bad thing. A parent was terminally ill and I needed a stable job quickly, so I just went straight into the nearest job here at 26. It was an easy, short term solution I thought, but I've been here ever since. I could pass for quite a bit younger and for a while this became a crutch used to delude myself into thinking I was at an earlier stage of life... still sort of a student finding his way. During my 30s I even did a postgrad qualification in library and archives to make it look like my life was going somewhere.
What an idiot.
Jobs outside the university on the ground at the moment, and seeing all the young people in their social circles is beginning to drive me crazy now.
Younger socially awkward types considering working as a tutor, low grade research assistant or general staff member at a university/college might want to give some thought as to why they're really going down this road.
It can be a trap, you don't have to leave university, move on with your life and face the real world in the private job market. Cling onto youth for a few more years. Then suddenly you're 35 with no relevant real world experience, having to see 18-24 year olds enjoying the best part of their lives while yours feels like it's over.
TL;DR Unless you're passionate and gifted in a particular field and looking for a tenured academic position, not recommended. Campuses are awful places for older single people.
Lately I've begun to feel like a loser just being here.
I can only be honest about this: if a member of the opposite sex generally looks like an adult (over 20) there’s a good chance I’ll find them attractive irrespective of creepy age gaps. It would be social suicide to admit that I found a lot of the women/girls walking around campus attractive at my age, it's not like I can control a lower brain reaction though.
For a long while working here wasn't such a bad thing. A parent was terminally ill and I needed a stable job quickly, so I just went straight into the nearest job here at 26. It was an easy, short term solution I thought, but I've been here ever since. I could pass for quite a bit younger and for a while this became a crutch used to delude myself into thinking I was at an earlier stage of life... still sort of a student finding his way. During my 30s I even did a postgrad qualification in library and archives to make it look like my life was going somewhere.
What an idiot.
Jobs outside the university on the ground at the moment, and seeing all the young people in their social circles is beginning to drive me crazy now.
Younger socially awkward types considering working as a tutor, low grade research assistant or general staff member at a university/college might want to give some thought as to why they're really going down this road.
It can be a trap, you don't have to leave university, move on with your life and face the real world in the private job market. Cling onto youth for a few more years. Then suddenly you're 35 with no relevant real world experience, having to see 18-24 year olds enjoying the best part of their lives while yours feels like it's over.
TL;DR Unless you're passionate and gifted in a particular field and looking for a tenured academic position, not recommended. Campuses are awful places for older single people.