Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Quit beating people over the head for not being their best.
#1
I've noticed quite a few folks on here overstep the line of trying to help someone or talking to someone into the territory of beating them over the head and insulting them for not feeling 100%. 

Quit that shit. Nobody typed whatever they typed into a search bar to end up here because they need to be strong armed into feeling better. 

I ended up here because I was suicidal and depressed over losing a relationship, and subsequently dealing with the fact that nobody wanted to date me. Because nobody wants to date someone who's crying in a corner about another woman. I got over it, but not because someone slapped me across the face and told me my problems weren't real or worth complaining about. 

It took a lot of weed (I quit since then, but legalize it my dude just my opinion) , and good friends. Learning not to trust everyone that comes into my life with my deepest secrets, and staying the fuck away from certain types of people. 

A lot of introspection. And no amounts of "Quit crying and just get over it." Not everyone needs a drill sergeant. That shit just puts people off of wanting to speak with you.
Reply
#2
Quite a few?  Chances are probably pretty high that I'm one of those few.
Yes I am blunt and yes I often say things people don't want to hear, but I do not insult people. They are entitled to feel how they want to feel and they can disregard any advice they may get if it's not right for them, but how exactly can they know what is right for them without hearing all of the options they have?  Most of those "quite a few" don't just simply say "suck it up" and leave it at that.  We offer advice, we offer personal experiences because we have went through similar. 
Only getting "yesman" answers and coddling them isn't going to do them any good either, which is what "quite a few more" people do.  You are entitled to your opinion, just like I am, just like anyone here is, so what is the point in making a thread simply to call people out?  Doesn't that make you just as bad?
Want to talk?  Check out the CHAT ROOM 

[Image: Quotefancy-19173-3840x2160.jpg?resize=1165%2C655&ssl=1]
Reply
#3
I've been in the situation where things get insulting, which is exactly why I stayed out of the actual "debate" this time. (A few things you said are sparking the assumption I'm making about the thread you're talking about) You never feel good after that, whether you won or lost the argument, you still lost.

But I do want to point out that while you're right we do need to keep the other person's feelings in mind, and especially the probability of how emotionally fragile they are... It's difficult to empathize when you feel insulted by some of their basic ideas, and they can't understand why.

But I agree No one needs to be "beat over the head" for their shortcomings or mistakes. You're absolutely right.
Reply
#4
I certainly hope I never cause anyone to feel "beat over the head".  I get that plenty myself, not here but in real life.  Well meaning friends and relations who read and re-read me the whole novel about health and what I'm doing wrong.  

"I know, I know!"

But what they don't see is the many things I'm improving on, and working on.  And they don't see how low I was feeling until the last couple of years.

So I try not to pass that onto others.  But one thing I will speak up about is when I read completely negative, doomsday, stories that are just going to drag more people down.  The way I choose to speak up is not to confront those type of posts (although essentially I think we're dealing with a troll or two that would love to talk someone into giving up.) I choose instead to post the most positive reply I can offer to try to counter the negative effects.

So here's a positive from one of my favorite musical artists.  It's about transgender, but I'm fat...and I have adopted it to include my body shape as well.  Please notice by the way how in the video the "judges" are essentially just a bunch of clowns.   Wink

https://youtu.be/rkEkjxX_YrM
Reply
#5
(04-17-2019, 05:06 AM)TheRealCallie Wrote: Quite a few?  Chances are probably pretty high that I'm one of those few.
Yes I am blunt and yes I often say things people don't want to hear, but I do not insult people. They are entitled to feel how they want to feel and they can disregard any advice they may get if it's not right for them, but how exactly can they know what is right for them without hearing all of the options they have?  Most of those "quite a few" don't just simply say "suck it up" and leave it at that.  We offer advice, we offer personal experiences because we have went through similar. 
Only getting "yesman" answers and coddling them isn't going to do them any good either, which is what "quite a few more" people do.  You are entitled to your opinion, just like I am, just like anyone here is, so what is the point in making a thread simply to call people out?  Doesn't that make you just as bad?

Nah, all I see you do that even comes remotely into that territory is giving shit to women haters, which is fine in my opinion. I dont personally trust women, but I dont blame them for my problems either. Some people just have dipshit opinions, as hypocrtitical as it may make me. And the yesmen are often the people doing the headbeating as well.
Reply
#6
It's so rare that I'm not included with the hated members of the forum. lol For that part of my tangent, I apologize. Smile

The rest, however, still stands. But I guess my tangent just stemmed from so many people wanting to control what others do and don't say. I completely agree that the insulting just to try to overpower or weaken someone is wrong and should immediately be stopped, but everything else, whether we like it or not can't and won't be changed. "Good intentions" don't make you any less of a bully if you are insulting and trying to force people to think your way.
Want to talk?  Check out the CHAT ROOM 

[Image: Quotefancy-19173-3840x2160.jpg?resize=1165%2C655&ssl=1]
Reply
#7
Some of what Naizo is saying resonates with my first experience on this forum. Im guessing that some lonely people leave this forum feeling more alienated than when they arrived. I suggest mods think about this issue more deeply.

Nazio.
Some of the prominent members here are obnoxious and get away with it. Find a better forum. I did.
Reply


Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  Do people reject or judge you for opposing immigration? Germund 7 474 04-12-2019, 02:42 AM
Last Post: Enpatsu No Shakugan
  Strange habits of single people Austen 54 9,324 03-12-2019, 03:28 AM
Last Post: Danielle
  What are some of the mind games people play that you can't stand? MissLonely79 17 3,149 02-27-2019, 08:58 AM
Last Post: Enpatsu No Shakugan
  Why do people leave ALL? nietzsche's lover 59 14,763 02-27-2019, 04:49 AM
Last Post: Enpatsu No Shakugan
  What do you notice about popular people.. EmilyFoxSeaton 14 2,355 10-24-2018, 08:56 AM
Last Post: Jessicat
  I really don't understand people.... Cornishboy 7 947 07-22-2018, 10:36 AM
Last Post: kamya
Sad A worrying voice nagging in your head Flatt7 4 2,090 05-02-2018, 01:52 AM
Last Post: Richard_39
  People open up to me but they don't know anything about me lovableplatypus 4 1,008 03-08-2018, 05:08 AM
Last Post: lovableplatypus
  Are people getting dumber? Xerin 24 4,390 02-15-2018, 01:10 AM
Last Post: Richard_39
  People who blast loud music on the weekends whocares 33 14,378 12-05-2017, 02:02 AM
Last Post: Brennabean

Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)