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Love...
#1
I feel like I could never be loved.

I'm just too weird... led too much of an odd life, an unusual look and unusual mind... 

There is nothing actually wrong with me, I'm very sound morally, good family, good upbringing, no odd interests or anything, no secrets, nothing. I have a lot of interests and am generally a positive person, but happen to also be a massive loner. A content one however, who is ambitious with a positive life infront of me from a career perspective, but a loner nonetheless. I do also see a relationship with the right person as a wonderful thing but I just can't see that as an actual possibility. 

I totally feel like I'm the outcast that can never be loved, as if no matter what happens, I would never be a woman's choice for companionship.
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#2
It is sad to see here so many young, lonely ,depressed people ….
 
Feeling unwanted is a part of life. It can happen to everyone at one point or another.
Being romantically desired is not the most important thing in life.
Friendships are also important.
You surely have some people who will always care about you.
Think positive ! 
 
“Keep a green tree in your heart and perhaps a singing bird will come.”
— Chinese proverb
 
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#3
(05-09-2019, 04:42 AM)sunlight_hope Wrote: It is sad to see here so many young, lonely ,depressed people ….
 
Feeling unwanted is a part of life. It can happen to everyone at one point or another.
Being romantically desired is not the most important thing in life.
Friendships are also important.
You surely have some people who will always care about you.
Think positive ! 
 
“Keep a green tree in your heart and perhaps a singing bird will come.”
— Chinese proverb
 

Unfortunately, due to past circumstances (nothing bad that I or anyone else did), I have no friends. I have some good close family but they are all very different to me. 

Fortunately, I'm not actually all that lonely or depressed, been there in the past and know what it's like. I have already come to terms with the idea that I will likely be alone for the rest of my life.

It's funny though because I always desired companionship, even from a little kid when I was too young to really understand it. I'm someone with a soft heart and a lot of love to give, I just don't think anyone would want it.
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#4
I consider you a friend. Even after what you did to your head Club

Lol
I know it's not the same as offline friends, but still.

As for romance, I do think a girl would be lucky to have you.  Don't give up.
Want to talk?  Check out the CHAT ROOM 

[Image: Quotefancy-19173-3840x2160.jpg?resize=1165%2C655&ssl=1]
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#5
You seem like an interesting person to me, and I like your attitude. I think we have some things in common you might call odd, so if you want to have at least one friend, you can PM to get to know each other better.

My issue with making friends is that I'm shy, I'm not a bad person either, but you have to try to make friends actively a lot. I could add something to the conversations around me or start new ones, but I don't really want to, because I'm shy and not that confident when talking. But I can feel it what it would be like if I were more extroverted, then I would have a lot more friends, or at least one. I'm working on it, but it would be unrealistic if you could change from very introverted to extroverted easily. I'm currently trying to make friends on the internet. Maybe I will become more outgoing in real life too.

I think it's like that for romantic relationships too, but I'm obviously not an expert. But how different can women and men be? We are all human after all.
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#6
(05-09-2019, 07:14 AM)Dr_Pixel Wrote: You seem like an interesting person to me, and I like your attitude. I think we have some things in common you might call odd, so if you want to have at least one friend, you can PM to get to know each other better.

My issue with making friends is that I'm shy, I'm not a bad person either, but you have to try to make friends actively a lot. I could add something to the conversations around me or start new ones, but I don't really want to, because I'm shy and not that confident when talking. But I can feel it what it would be like if I were more extroverted, then I would have a lot more friends, or at least one. I'm working on it, but it would be unrealistic if you could change from very introverted to extroverted easily. I'm currently trying to make friends on the internet. Maybe I will become more outgoing in real life too.

I think it's like that for romantic relationships too, but I'm obviously not an expert. But how different can women and men be? We are all human after all.

Yeah, women and men are really not that different. There are just so many things in society, social things etc that create a fabricated divide between the genders making it seem like we are almost separate animals sometimes even, really it's all just an exaggeration.

I think confidence while commonly referred to as a big player in attraction, is actually even underrated. Confidence is a main player in all social interactions whether romantic or otherwise. I find it to the point that if you have confidence and respect yourself, others will often respect you too, which can bring forth both social or romantic relationships.

My problem though I feel is larger than individual things such as that. I feel like I have a concoction of traits physical and mental that when put together, creates a person who is simply not attractive, no matter how I could attempt to spin it whether that's perhaps gaining confidence, changing my look or being financially well off.

I don't want to sound super defeatist either. I sometimes wonder whether these thoughts are off the mark and just a distorted vision of myself in my own mind... or if it is actually true.

It can be such a hard thing to judge yourself. I think I am just trying to search for an answer, and wondering if other people feel the same way about themselves here I suppose too.
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#7
Oddball loners always have trouble because where you appear fit in society is an important part of how people perceive you. Sounds like you're aware how unlikely it is that anyone's giong to care enough to bring you out of your shell at this point. I don't have an answer other than the generic: force yourself into being social, whether that be at work or meetups. And not D&D or other groups frequented exclusively by certain types of men.
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#8
I think you have to explain what you mean by a concoction of physical and mental traits.

Physical traits shouldn't matter that much. If you look average, it shouldn't be a problem. Besides that, there are also a lot of people that don't look good, which are in relationships. Would very good looks even help you? Sure more women would talk to you, but would you be able to keep a conversation with them? And would that relationship become close and long-lasting or would it end after just one night?

If you want meaningful and longterm relationships, you should pay more attention to your mental traits. You are optimistic and you improve yourself, which is certainly not unattractive. I would assume you don't feel confident around people and the usual social problems of introverts, but what do I know? You even don't know it yourself. But you from what I read in your posts, you don't seem mentally unattractive when writing.

I thought I was also an outcast, too different for the average person. But I can have conversations with people online, and even offline if I would try more. I had a distorted picture of myself until I realized that you just have to try to make friends instead of staying that silent introverted person. It seems to me that most people aren't as different as I thought, but how could I know better if I didn't try to get to know them and just assumed they were totally different. Of course, it's easy to say just make friends. It takes a whole lot of effort and time, but someone with a mindset like you can work on themselves. Keep trying, and try to find what is keeping you from having friends.
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#9
(05-09-2019, 11:29 PM)Dr_Pixel Wrote: I think you have to explain what you mean by a concoction of physical and mental traits.

Physical traits shouldn't matter that much. If you look average, it shouldn't be a problem. Besides that, there are also a lot of people that don't look good, which are in relationships. Would very good looks even help you? Sure more women would talk to you, but would you be able to keep a conversation with them? And would that relationship become close and long-lasting or would it end after just one night?

If you want meaningful and longterm relationships, you should pay more attention to your mental traits. You are optimistic and you improve yourself, which is certainly not unattractive. I would assume you don't feel confident around people and the usual social problems of introverts, but what do I know? You even don't know it yourself. But you from what I read in your posts, you don't seem mentally unattractive when writing.

I thought I was also an outcast, too different for the average person. But I can have conversations with people online, and even offline if I would try more. I had a distorted picture of myself until I realized that you just have to try to make friends instead of staying that silent introverted person. It seems to me that most people aren't as different as I thought, but how could I know better if I didn't try to get to know them and just assumed they were totally different. Of course, it's easy to say just make friends. It takes a whole lot of effort and time, but someone with a mindset like you can work on themselves. Keep trying, and try to find what is keeping you from having friends.

What I mean is that there are very many non-stereotypical/non-generic things about both my looks and personality which I feel creates someone who is not considered romantically viable. Even arrogant dickheads that would treat a partner with no respect would be picked over me. I don't really want to be super specific on a public forum, even if I did it would not really resemble an accurate image unless I went into deep detail.

Funnily enough I am not that bad socially, I generally get on with people really well. I have a ton of interests and really enjoy seeing what other people have to say about different subjects, I like talking about everything. In this instance yes being attractive would help. lol

This really is down to those things that lead to attraction and the choice someone might make to want to be with someone. Just because you are a nice person, perhaps talented, knowledgeable, etc, does not necessarily mean you can find companionship. There are usually many more factors involved. Sometimes you see someone who is one of the most talented people in the world, but they never have a partner, and no one seems to question as to why, it almost seems like it's normal for that person not to. Neither both my past friends or family have ever questioned to me the fact I have been single for my entire life and I'm in my 30's
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#10
That was kinda predictable that your issue is more complex, otherwise, you probably would have fixed it already.

I'm trying to make friends at all first, so I haven't thought that there might be issues with maintaining relationships or making them close yet. The reality is always more complex, isn't it?

Since your issue is more complex, I think nobody can really help you without knowing the details. I wouldn't post anything so personal public either. You could talk to people you are more close with about that because talking about yourself can give you more insight and maybe different ideas from other people could help, at least that is what a therapist does.

You need self-reflection to identify the issues, reasons and find possible solutions, but this is a lengthy process. Keep searching. There is not much that others can do for you. Nobody knows you better than yourself and only you can change yourself.

All I can do is to wish you luck and hope.
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