I Tried

Hey all

I started this new year with a positive attitude of make new friends and put myself out there and i completely failed, i am now working 2 jobs which takes up 90% of my free time the other 10% is my martial art lesson.

The friends i did make just seem to only call when they want something and when i call them they are all to busy to talk unless they need something ofc to a point that i feel worse than before and i just keep wondering if its me.... is there something i am doing wrong? i just feel like no matter what i do i am doomed to be constantly alone.

It's alright.. take it easy- everything will work itself out eventually.. how about dropping one of the jobs if it's taking up so much of your time?
And don't forget that the friends you've made probably have social circles of their own, which is why it seems that they are always too busy for you.. so just take time with then..keep trying.. there's probably nothing that you're doing wrong just don't act needy or w.e.
hope that helped

Tachikaze said:

Hey all

I started this new year with a positive attitude of make new friends and put myself out there and i completely failed, i am now working 2 jobs which takes up 90% of my free time the other 10% is my martial art lesson.

The friends i did make just seem to only call when they want something and when i call them they are all to busy to talk unless they need something ofc to a point that i feel worse than before and i just keep wondering if its me.... is there something i am doing wrong? i just feel like no matter what i do i am doomed to be constantly alone.

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Hey yeh, i know that feeling. If i could offer advice i would, but i really cant work people out....u sound like a nice person to me anyway & your 'friends' are losing out. keep smiling

Ok first of all, we are barely two months into this year you can’t use the word failed until 31st December! Until then there’s still time for your new attitude to be successful. Plus if you focus on the word failed it will probably end up holding you back anyway. Maybe you are looking for friends in the wrong place. Have you looked for them at both your jobs and at your martial art lesson?
Do you need two jobs? Or at least maybe you could cut back on a few hours.
I gave up on a couple of friends when I got to the stage you’re at –where they never call unless they need something and are too busy when you call. Sometimes it’s easier to let go rather than do all the chasing.
Just don’t give up on your positive attitude just yet.

it's not your fault man, i've always had the same **** problem, people only talk to me, when they want something out of it,

hey claire, whats up, how you doing? hey can i gt a ride? sure but now you're paying for gas fair

...ya eventually it was getting me pretty pissed, so eventually i kinda just passively aggressively drove them away.

I'm so sick of two faced people,

the other day i sran into an old friend, she smilied and said hey, we chatted a little, even though she had blown me off over the phone and lied when she said she would call me later 2 weeks before.

how can i not take it personnaly, i hate when people say that i'll call you back, when? later



i'm sorry i dind't mean to go on and start rambling like that, If you're not getting stressed out from workingg two jobs and doing marital arts (by the thats great that you're doing all that stuff) If your jobs don't tottaly suck, then i would say not to worry about it too much. Over time, you'll make a bunch of money and be an awesome badass ninja!! XD

but ya it's hard going through all these routins alone, get up go to school be ignored do your homework, sleep repeat,

try to hang in there and your best, and when you can take a few minutes to just do something to make yourself feel good

i've recently started the tradition, of pretty much every week, (ussally on a monday to help cope with the monday depression) i go into wallgreens or someother convience store and i get 2 cookies and creame candy bars and get a sobi life water or a XX vitamin water. It's like my favorite snackk in the world. lol actually recently i've started calling it my suicide prevention kit (it's even better with a teddy bear)

We're all in this together mate and i'm pulling for you

You can try meeting up with people you know in the past or the people you are working with.Invite them for lunch,sports activities or gatherings.

You are not doomed to be alone,friend.

Yea, I'd suggest just being yourself at work. You'd be surprised what can come from that

Plus I'd be more social at your martial arts class. That's a pretty unique interest and I bet there has to be some people you can talk to there. Don't lose hope!

Thanks alot everyone ^^

i understand what your all saying but unfortunately i need 2 jobs to keep everything running at home its all very complicated.
i am friends with everyone at my martial arts but unfortunately there are only 5 people who go, we all have a good laugh but when the lesson is over thats it. i think a major part of my problem is the people my age just want to go out get drunk all the time and i do enjoy dancing and stuff but i dont like to drink.
as for work well most of the people i worked with that i used to see got made redundant and because i didnt they seem to blame me in some way or another...i gotta admit that really suxx.

As for people using me well that kinda came to ahead last night when i said no for the first time only to get a huge barrage of abuse of how wasnt a good friend and someone hang up on me.

But i am going to take the advice on cutting the hours back....i just dont know what i would do with the free time is all lol.
any advice on how to make new friends cos atm i am really stumped

Find something to talk about.Maybe about the martial arts or things they are interested in.If they begin to talk,find out what they are talking about and join in to have a conversation.

If you feel uncomfortable,start with an individual who you feel comfortable with.

check out this site www.succeedsocially.com