What/Who do you blame for your lonely state?

For me, I blame myself

same here

I blame the world

Myself.

I don't know who to blame... I think I was born to be rejected by people. Is it my destiny to be lonely?

Ahhhh so many things to blame. Myself included. But to be completey honest my current state of loneliness i tottally blame my ex who left me. She talked me into moving in with her to harrisburg where she knew i didnt know anyone. One month into the lease and she walked out the door and never came home. So i got stuck with a one year lease in the middle of some lame town that i dont even know anyone. its been 9 months now. Complete isolation.

I blame my parents. They provided ZERO social skills, beat me, and provided me with a family legacy of violence, poverty, and shame.

I really do NOT know how to relate to other people. I get very nervous at parties and start sweating.

I don't really blame myself since I think I try to be nice to people but they still don't like me. I know I have a low self-esteem so maybe they sense that?

lonelygirl said:

I blame my parents. They provided ZERO social skills, beat me, and provided me with a family legacy of violence, poverty, and shame.

I really do NOT know how to relate to other people. I get very nervous at parties and start sweating.

I don't really blame myself since I think I try to be nice to people but they still don't like me. I know I have a low self-esteem so maybe they sense that?

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Usually if i Sence someone with low self esteem i try and be extra nice...because it seems that people like us tend to appriecate friendly people more.....i know i do....i can meet a buitiful friendly girl, but still be just as excited and nice to meet a old women who is just as friendly.......Respect.......Respect seems to have just kind of been thrown to the side for our current generations....maybe so the gangstas and wangstas can be hardcore..-sarcasm-

I blame my parents in away,  I was beaten and locked in a room for most of my childhood.  My social skills and being able to value myself is poor.  I don't understand how to give myself permission to be the best me.  To find whom I really am.  So I take some of the later years of the blame.  It's so hard.  But I think that sometimes people don't want "the sensitive person" around them as well.

Alienation

lonelygirl said:

I blame my parents. They provided ZERO social skills, beat me, and provided me with a family legacy of violence, poverty, and shame.

I really do NOT know how to relate to other people. I get very nervous at parties and start sweating.

I don't really blame myself since I think I try to be nice to people but they still don't like me. I know I have a low self-esteem so maybe they sense that?

Click to expand...

that's me as well.. pretty much.

my mother, she was no mother,my stepfather who beat me constantly, i always tried to be a good girl the only child of my mothers to never be arrested or do anything bad and yet she hated me the most. i also blame myself for isolating myself in japan now i cant get home ,dont know how to and dont think if i went back i could support my family,depression, circumstances,profound lonliness , i blame time, i myself for wasteing my life and not being able to get a grip on it

Yes, lonely2beeme, I and others have been trying to sustain discussion with you all about your conundrum on your own thread about your situation. But you do need to hold up your end.

AaronAgassi said:

Yes, lonely2beeme, I and others have been trying to sustain discussion with you all about your conundrum on your own thread about your situation. But you do need to hold up your end.

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aaron you really made me feel bad like i shouldnt even try since i cant even get somthing like posting on forums perfect, i almost closed the page and deleted the bookmark ,this just isnt the time for me to be feeling upset i came to these forums because i am trying to interact with others.

i dont know why you seem to be targeting me today for no reason since i thought it was good to reply to others posts instead of just my own, since i have only been a member here for 2 weeks and i have 17 posts i think i hold up "my end" well enough. i answer when i feel there is something to say , i reply even when lonelygirl and i were writing back and forth i replied even when i was feeling really bad ,too depressed to talk to her just to tell her i needed a bit of time last week as i was overwhelmed.
i am and have been very isolated for a long time,the mere fact that i had to google "i am so very lonely" to find this site then felt pathetic enough and so desperate for human contact that i became a member put me even further into despair , i felt suffocated just by looking at the forums ,lately memory problems ,peoples names ,especially forum people with no face for me to see i found very hard to talk to and seperate who i was talking to ,and seperate what they had to say and assign it to thier nicknames it just felt all jumbled up in my head so i took a break for a week.

i thought this thread was asking a simple question ,"who do you blame for your lonliness and like the others who replied ,i replied with my reasons also as i was trying to hold up "my end" of this convo .

however you decided to not reply to the question of this thread but make a comment to me ,if you have a problem with me you can pm me if you dont like me you can ignore me or just possiably you could stay on topic and join in with your own answer ,instead of going off topic and makeing it about my participation .i found it interesting where others felt there lives had started to go wrong , im sorry you felt you needed to point my week long absense i have 3 children ,and although i am very lonly i am also busy when my 4 year old gets hyper and wont sleep for 3 days ontop of not feeling well with a headache that wont go away no matter how many pills i take.
anyway sorry to the person who started the thread didnt mean to hijack it i just wanted aaron to know that i think alot of people who are unhappy are also sensitive being crass just makes me not want to post here the oppisite of what i believe the intent of the forums were.

when your so lonely you join a bunch of other lonely people you dont even know just so that you can all swap our miserable stories,...well it was very hard to feel i had sunk so low as to have to advertise for friends,and i have been aveing anxiety attacks for the last week just because i came to these forums to begin with......but yesterday i tried to come back ,kinda wish i didnt now since i feel worse !it feels as if i was wrong for even posting since i dont do it everyday ,you have no idea how hard it is to answer all these private questions ,to open up and say why i am so depressed in public to people who dont care if i jumped off a bridge tommorrow .

i havent spoken much in years with anyone ,am trying very hard to do something myself aaron it was just sucky that when i came back to see how others were feeling and have you turning this thread on me ......... it wasent encouragement i find but you makeing me feel like i fail even at trying to post on a lonliness forums .

Actually, I did answer the question of the thread, in a previous post. But am I truly so cruel for daring suggest that so desperate a problem as your own does indeed deserve just a little closer focus?

Hey Aaron,

Let up, will ya? Seriously. While I wish that Lonely2beeme had responded more to my comments (just because she and I have so much in common!) I think she is just doing the best she can at this current time. Please be gentle with people who are really struggling and doing their best.

Lonely2beeme, I'm glad to see you back again. Please keep coming here. Yes, we don't have faces to see each other but just use your imagination. In a way it's "safer" because it's an anonymous place. You can really confess your deepest secrets here because no one can identify you directly. *hugs*

You're quite right, we should just be agreeable and help her feel better. What business is it of mine to care what actually becomes of her? I would never want to impose.

of course that in a certain way i blame myself for my loneliness i think that in a way we are the ones who do rule our life...we are who we wanted in a way to be....but i do blame my first love for my loneliness...it was a naive and unreal love, i know this, but the really bad thing he did to me was igmore me at such a fragile age...we were best friends a few years then he just didn't talked to me ever again...after he stoped talking to me all my problems started...

i blame no1

Hi Andre,

I think that if you want to chastise someone you should do it privately. Otherwise the person might feel as though they are being shamed in front of a group, which isn't cool.