a bit about me

[i hoped]

Hello, I am a 32 yr. old woman. I have no friends and no "mate" however i do have a triflen childs father. I have been lonely for the vast majority of my life. The rest of the time I was to young to remember. I grew up in a very loving and supportive family. My mother worked hard to make sure that my brother and i had everything we needed and even most of what we wanted. My extended family were awesome as well. But somewhere around puberty I became very lonely and depressed. By my senior year in high school I had tried to commit suicide at least 3 times. After high school I was hopitalized 2 times for other suicide attempts. I got to the point where I stopped trying because I couldn't seem to get that right. I do believe that the deep depression I was in had everything to do with it. At the age of 26 I finally got my first boyfriend, but he was just using me for sex and I knew it, but I was so tired of being alone that I just dealt with it until he evenually left methat lead to me having a one night stand and i got pregnant and the deepest depression I've known set in. I've not had a boyfriend since. and as far as female friends I used to think i had them, but they came and went with what i could and could not give them. So here I am with a 3 yr old child, alone, depressed and desperate. I used to have hope that i would have a normal healthy relationship. But life has failed me. I never get to see my child because I work so much to try to support her that Im either at work, she is with her grandmother or i am sleep. I just cannot seem to catch a break. But the suicide attempts stopped a long while back because I will not do that to my child, but now I just feel even worse because I want to be able to give my child a better life then what I have. This dead end job doesn't help, neither does the cost of living. If anyone thinks they can help, please do.

 

[Paul Meranda]

i wish you well. we're glad youre here. .. im not sure how insensitive this is of a thing to say, but in my heart of hearts, i believe when you dont survive a suicidal episode, it means some part of you wasnt finished yet. theres still something youre looking for. im starting to understand its the time inbetween that is so scary to myself and everyone else with trouble of this nature.. keep with us.

i say focus on your daughter; love her and love yourself. .. 2-3 year old girls are so much **** fun, a few of my friends have them.. one is single with a 3 month old and is the happiest ive ever seen her in her life. .. my only real ex-girlfriend, now that i think about it..

 

[MrE1986]

Theres plenty of good people here who will be happy to be your friend, we all support each other here

 

[Edward W]

Hi and welcome to the site!

 

[i hoped]

Thank you for being caring and supportive. I hope to find a friend to talk to here that can also understand...

 

[9006]

Hello,

I'm glad you found a reason to live. Welcome to the site.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Hey there, welcome to the forum. Hope you find what you're looking for here.. a lot of nice people to talk to.

 

[SofiasMami]

Hi
There are a few of us single parents here on the forum.
Welcome!

-Teresa

 

[WallflowerGirl83]

Welcome to the Forum! =]