A Life Without Love Is Not Worth Living

[Sally's Song]

Yes, I do like Star Wars. I suppose I do like a few Tim Burton films. The Nightmare Before Christmas was pretty good too. I assume your user name is related to that?

The incident with the girl in my previous post happened in 2005. She made it very clear that what happened was unforgivable. I cannot say I blame her, but it is unfortunate that it was apparently all a big misunderstanding To this day, I still consider what happened the biggest mistake of my life. I think my life could be very different if things had worked out at that time. I acquired new interests and friends during that time, but if not for what happened, perhaps I would not have them now. I struggle with the question of whether I would trade everything that has happened in the last few years for a chance to prevent that mistake
[/quote]

Yea, The Nightmare Before Christmas is a really special movie to me. My take on the issue is this: if the incident was a misunderstanding it is forgiveable. If you still think about her to this day, there's probably a reason for it. There's no use living with regrets... tell her how you feel! There are two possible outcomes. #1 The issue remains unsolved (which is how it stands either way) or #2 You can work it out with her. Either way you have to forgive yourself before she can.

I dono if that helps, but I have a similar situation going on in my life right now that goes back to an incident in 2005. And if that man ever asked me to forgive him I would do it without hesitation, because I never blamed him in the first place.

 

[stuff4096]

Yes, I do like Star Wars. I suppose I do like a few Tim Burton films. The Nightmare Before Christmas was pretty good too. I assume your user name is related to that?

The incident with the girl in my previous post happened in 2005. She made it very clear that what happened was unforgivable. I cannot say I blame her, but it is unfortunate that it was apparently all a big misunderstanding To this day, I still consider what happened the biggest mistake of my life. I think my life could be very different if things had worked out at that time. I acquired new interests and friends during that time, but if not for what happened, perhaps I would not have them now. I struggle with the question of whether I would trade everything that has happened in the last few years for a chance to prevent that mistake

Yea, The Nightmare Before Christmas is a really special movie to me. My take on the issue is this: if the incident was a misunderstanding it is forgiveable. If you still think about her to this day, there's probably a reason for it. There's no use living with regrets... tell her how you feel! There are two possible outcomes. #1 The issue remains unsolved (which is how it stands either way) or #2 You can work it out with her. Either way you have to forgive yourself before she can.

I dono if that helps, but I have a similar situation going on in my life right now that goes back to an incident in 2005. And if that man ever asked me to forgive him I would do it without hesitation, because I never blamed him in the first place.
[/quote]

If I may ask, what is the significance of The Nightmare Before Christmas? I find that Corpse Bride is a really special movie to me too. The first time I saw it, I knew immediately. It has a lot of elements I can relate too, though in my case the happy ending is not there

I believe the incident was a misunderstanding. I know she felt like what I did was immature and hurtful. I wish that I could do what you said, but I really do not have any way to contact her anymore (and after five years, I doubt she want to be reminded of what happened). It was very difficult to get over it initially and I am generally able to handle it, but whenever I feel alone or dark, I think back to that point. I understand what you are saying about having to forgive myself first, but it is not easy because I know the way I handled the incident was not good and because I am still alone. Of course I do not know what might have happened if the incident were avoided, but I really do feel like if we got to the point of actually meeting, things could have worked out. Perhaps if I knew for sure that it would never have worked out, I would not feel the way I do. Just knowing there was a possibility just amplifies the regret

 

[Sally's Song]

Yes, I do like Star Wars. I suppose I do like a few Tim Burton films. The Nightmare Before Christmas was pretty good too. I assume your user name is related to that?

The incident with the girl in my previous post happened in 2005. She made it very clear that what happened was unforgivable. I cannot say I blame her, but it is unfortunate that it was apparently all a big misunderstanding To this day, I still consider what happened the biggest mistake of my life. I think my life could be very different if things had worked out at that time. I acquired new interests and friends during that time, but if not for what happened, perhaps I would not have them now. I struggle with the question of whether I would trade everything that has happened in the last few years for a chance to prevent that mistake

Yea, The Nightmare Before Christmas is a really special movie to me. My take on the issue is this: if the incident was a misunderstanding it is forgiveable. If you still think about her to this day, there's probably a reason for it. There's no use living with regrets... tell her how you feel! There are two possible outcomes. #1 The issue remains unsolved (which is how it stands either way) or #2 You can work it out with her. Either way you have to forgive yourself before she can.

I dono if that helps, but I have a similar situation going on in my life right now that goes back to an incident in 2005. And if that man ever asked me to forgive him I would do it without hesitation, because I never blamed him in the first place.

If I may ask, what is the significance of The Nightmare Before Christmas? I find that Corpse Bride is a really special movie to me too. The first time I saw it, I knew immediately. It has a lot of elements I can relate too, though in my case the happy ending is not there

I believe the incident was a misunderstanding. I know she felt like what I did was immature and hurtful. I wish that I could do what you said, but I really do not have any way to contact her anymore (and after five years, I doubt she want to be reminded of what happened). It was very difficult to get over it initially and I am generally able to handle it, but whenever I feel alone or dark, I think back to that point. I understand what you are saying about having to forgive myself first, but it is not easy because I know the way I handled the incident was not good and because I am still alone. Of course I do not know what might have happened if the incident were avoided, but I really do feel like if we got to the point of actually meeting, things could have worked out. Perhaps if I knew for sure that it would never have worked out, I would not feel the way I do. Just knowing there was a possibility just amplifies the regret
[/quote]

Well... the first time I watched the movie it was with the man I love. We were just kids then, but I always felt like I wanted to be there for him when he was feeling sad or mad. I still feel that way to this day, but for a million reasons (that don't really matter much to me) we can't be together. I always keep hoping things will get better between us, because looking back on the years that have passed since then, he's the only person who really knows me and makes me feel happy when things are tough. The movie just reminds me of him, and helps me have faith that eventually things will work out.

I'm sorry about your situation. Since the issue can't be resolved with her, just keep looking forward and remember that whatever path you're walking down now is the one God meant for you to be travelling.

 

[tkiratit]

A life without love is not worth living... the only reason why I exist today is because I would never put my parents through such an ordeal. But at this point, I am two deaths away from eternal slumber. I love my parents dearly, but at the same time I feel imprisoned because I am not free to have my eternal slumber. If I were a lesser person, I would have terminated myself several times over already. What is the point of being alive but not happy? The past year has mostly been the worst year of my life. I have never felt so lonely in my entire life (and I have had more than my fair share of loneliness). For the most part over this time, I have largely been ignored and forgotten by someone I considered a very close friend. I felt like I was the best possible friend I could be and yet time and again, I feel I have been betrayed. Nice guys finish last, as it goes, and I guess I am living proof of that. Maybe I was too nice or too agreeable. They say that you set yourself up for sadness when you put your happiness in the hands of another. Perhaps in that sense, I have been fooling myself into thinking that we were ever really as close as I thought we were. What I thought I used to have is now what someone else has. Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice shame on me... and we are way past the second fooling. Despite my obvious sadness, not a single person has asked me what was wrong. Perhaps this is my own fault, as being happy seems to be the exception and not the norm. I cannot remember the last time I was truly happy. I cannot remember the last time I smiled. I would trade the rest of my life for one day of happiness. A day without sadness and darkness. I have all but given up on the possibility of things turning around. I am a simple person and just want to find that special someone that I can share my life with. I have a lot of love to give, but apparently no one wants it. I have never experienced love; I can count the number of dates I have had on two hands; I can count the number of girls I have gone out with on one hand. There is only so much rejection one can reasonably take. I would never wish my situation on anyone. My light side has lost the war against my dark side. My flame of life has extinguished. I feel like I am dead on the inside and I am just waiting for the outside to catch up. I ruined my life five years ago and I seem to be destined to suffer the consequences until my dying day. In a parallel universe I believe there is a me that is happy. Unfortunately, I am here and not there. I look forward to the day when I can go to sleep for the last time. Endured much suffering have I. Wish to skip to the end of this story I do...

This is so sad. Now i am in same condition and feeling same. My love went away and ignoring me. It is really hard to control when it happens but i still love----no matter what. Love is always greate for me and will.

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This is so sad. Now i am in same condition and feeling same. My love went away and ignoring me. It is really hard to control when it happens but i still love----no matter what. Love is always greate for me and will.

 

[deirdre]

i personally feel we are brainwashed into thinking this way, that a life without love has no value..... another human being has to validate you. that we are not perfect and wonderful enough in our own right. and it's more than the double whammy of brainwashing if you are a female....we are brought up on fairy tales...hell, I remember my mother actually telling me i will never be truly fulfilled as a human being until I marry and have children.

what dreck, i hated her for years for putting that obscene thought into my head..... Not every person will find a perfect romantic love, nor have the perfect friendships, nor will every human being on this planet grow up to do great things, but I love Mother Theresa's take on it: "Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love....." you can still experience great love if you yourself know how to love even the smallest, perhaps insignificant thing. Find the things you can love, love doing, love seeing, love hearing.... and share that love with others....be the changes you want to see in the world...

 

[AptlyLabled]

I've been going through a very similar "darkness" for as long as i can remember at this point. I just found this site, specifically, due to your article and was shocked to see what you had written, only because i've written such incredibly similar things before, but only to myself as a way to vent. I had no idea their were others struggling with very similar feelings. I wish I had a word of advice, or some poetic statement of hope to follow the others in this thread but, all I can do is say thank you for making feel a little less alone in my world of darkness. I truly hope things work out for you.

 

[the-alchemist]

Wow, I feel exactly the same way. And I think it's true, a life without love is not worth living.

I've never had a girlfriend. But fresia! I've been so close a number of times, and every ******* time some honeysuckle happens. I drop the ball because I am too desperate, or some idiot blocks me. They say you should not be desperate but it's so hard to not be desperate. It's like if you're starving and you haven't had food. If you are starving, all you CAN think about IS food.

And I'm experiencing the same thing. I get so sad when everybody around me has experienced love and having a partner and I've never had the chance to experience blessed mix of happiness and sorrow that people refer to as mutual "love".

I truly, truly feel that my life as it is now, is forfeit. It is not worth a dime right now. That said, I have resolved to do something about it. And I will either succeed or fail but I will not become 30 years old and regret that I didn't do anything. In MMA/boxing terms, I'm either going to knock out or get knocked out.

Going back to the original point, life without love is worthless. I know how it feels, so many regrets. "I could've done this..." "I should've done that..." "I shouldn't have done this...". But yet it's too late to do anything...

If I may ask TS, you say you're not white. What ethnicity are you?

 

[stuff4096]

I've been going through a very similar "darkness" for as long as i can remember at this point. I just found this site, specifically, due to your article and was shocked to see what you had written, only because i've written such incredibly similar things before, but only to myself as a way to vent. I had no idea their were others struggling with very similar feelings. I wish I had a word of advice, or some poetic statement of hope to follow the others in this thread but, all I can do is say thank you for making feel a little less alone in my world of darkness. I truly hope things work out for you.

In finding this site, you have found a place where you are free to express yourself or vent as needed with people who are experiencing similar things. I am glad to make you feel a little less alone, albeit indirectly. I hope things work out for you too and welcome to the site

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Wow, I feel exactly the same way. And I think it's true, a life without love is not worth living.

I've never had a girlfriend. But fresia! I've been so close a number of times, and every ******* time some honeysuckle happens. I drop the ball because I am too desperate, or some idiot blocks me. They say you should not be desperate but it's so hard to not be desperate. It's like if you're starving and you haven't had food. If you are starving, all you CAN think about IS food.

And I'm experiencing the same thing. I get so sad when everybody around me has experienced love and having a partner and I've never had the chance to experience blessed mix of happiness and sorrow that people refer to as mutual "love".

I truly, truly feel that my life as it is now, is forfeit. It is not worth a dime right now. That said, I have resolved to do something about it. And I will either succeed or fail but I will not become 30 years old and regret that I didn't do anything. In MMA/boxing terms, I'm either going to knock out or get knocked out.

Going back to the original point, life without love is worthless. I know how it feels, so many regrets. "I could've done this..." "I should've done that..." "I shouldn't have done this...". But yet it's too late to do anything...

If I may ask TS, you say you're not white. What ethnicity are you?

I am glad you have been close to having a girlfriend, even if you have not made it there. I have never had a girlfriend and have not even come close I think your starving analogy is great. I will steal an analogy from Attack Of The Clones and say that it feels like I am suffocating rather than starving

I can relate to how sad you feel when you see others with their partner. I am to the point where going out depresses me because I see so many couples and know that I will never have that. I go out only when I have a specific reason, never to just casually or without a plan. I am glad you are strong enough in your resolve to do something to change your outcome. Good for you! I feel like I am already knocked out. The problem is the referee is taking too long to end the fight

I am Asian, first generation born in America. I think this is partly to blame for why I have ended up the way I did. Throughout school I was always surrounded by mainly white people. Naturally, as I grew up, my preferences and senses leaned that way. So now I find myself attracted to those who are generally attracted to those who look like them. I have tried to tell myself that I need to move past this, but I always end up feeling like if I do, then I would be settling. I do not think that would be fair to a potential mate or myself. It just seems like my preference is making an already difficult task exponentially more difficult

 

[WishingWell]

First and foremost, you have to stop thinking of suicide. I am a survivor of 12 serious attemps (comas from 10, which the doctors didn't think I would wake up or not be brain dead from). It was killing my family and back then the friends I had, but now since moving I have no friends. Someone once suggested to me, "what if you commit suicide and your after life is feeling the same way you do now for eternity." I am a Christian, and hope their is a Heaven, but that thought scared me out of trying again.

I am 53 years old, and you may think I can't relate to you, but I can. Since I separated from my X and moved in with my Sister's family in a basement apartment, I lost everyone, because I can't drive due to epilepsy. My old friends faded away one by one. I feel that the last 7 years of my life were wasted since I have and have done nothing. I can't even save money to secure my future, and it scares me. I am told I can't live here forever, and my Dad has passed and my Mom is 81 and living here too so I couldn't move in with my Parents.

What happened 5 years ago to ruin your life? If we don't know, we can't help at all.

I don't have any education after high school, have been disabled since 1985, and was in a failed marriage with no kids, that was years that I can consider wasted too.

Before I met my X, I was involved with people (I am not prejudiced) I wouldn't look at today because of how they are. I was very involved in alcohol and drugs, and ended up in rehab, but slip with the alcohol a lot. There are many other things I regret, but can't do anything about them now. YOU HAVE TO PUT THE PAST BEHIND YOU. IT DOESN'T MATTER ANYMORE.

I have been without a boyfriend for 7 years now...had some dates from singles sites, but that was it.

You are suffering from such bad self-esteem. That is how you feel about yourself, not how society dictates how you are. You are not alone there, and your lonliness is felt by so many...that is why this Forum exists!

Keep reaching out! Maybe someone will have some advice for you.

In the meantime, keep on keepin' on! I go on because I have a tiny bit of hope that things will get better...and at your age,
you have a much better chance of that happening!

 

[rdp234]

Sometimes you have to learn how to love yourself. That truly is the greatest love of all. Every life is worth living. You shouldn't derive all of your self worth from what someone else thinks of you. True empowerment is learning to love yourself when no one else does. I know that's probably not what you want to hear, but it's true. I was married and didn't think I could live without that person until I had to and then I realized that I was strong enough and I had to love myself even if no one else did. People go through it. Sometimes you end up alone in life. You're not the only one. Take pride in who you are. Take some time for yourself and stop worrying about what anyone else thinks. You are worth it. You are good enough. You are beautiful. Sometimes it feels good to feel sad and that's okay. Just remember though, in your darkest hour you still have you and you're not alone and you're worth it.