Jesse
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- Jun 4, 2009
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So I've realized something about myself and thought maybe it would apply to other men. If so it could help you ladies understand how we work.
When it comes to attraction and whether or not I like somebody, well to be honest, the first thing I notice is the looks of someone. Before even getting to know a lady, a man might decide if he "likes" her based on her appearance. A man might develop "types" of women he likes. Say, a petite girl with long hair, or say a heavier type girl with short hair, perhaps tall women. Well a man may think he likes certain types of women, but at least for me that's only the initial feeling.
For instance; I may see a woman who I find attractive. Men are hardwired in a way that sight can be interpreted as feeling. Because I find a girl attractive, I might think I like her. The problem is men, myself included, confuse being attracted to somebody with liking them.
Now I might hang out with a girl for a while who I don't necessarily find attractive. At first, I might think that I don't like her, but the more I get to know her, the more I might connect with her, I might develop feelings for her. This is what it really means to like someone.
I might hang out with someone I find attractive and think I like that person, but after a while I get to know them and find out they're really a *****! Then I don't like them so much.
I did finally realize the difference between attraction and like. The problem, I think, is possibly that most men never do figure out the difference.
All I can say is you should never decide if you like somebody based on their looks. What really matters is how you get along with the person and if you can feel that spark.
My final point is that at first you may not be attracted to someone, but over time, as you begin to like them, attraction follows. However, attraction first doesn't always lead to like later.
When it comes to attraction and whether or not I like somebody, well to be honest, the first thing I notice is the looks of someone. Before even getting to know a lady, a man might decide if he "likes" her based on her appearance. A man might develop "types" of women he likes. Say, a petite girl with long hair, or say a heavier type girl with short hair, perhaps tall women. Well a man may think he likes certain types of women, but at least for me that's only the initial feeling.
For instance; I may see a woman who I find attractive. Men are hardwired in a way that sight can be interpreted as feeling. Because I find a girl attractive, I might think I like her. The problem is men, myself included, confuse being attracted to somebody with liking them.
Now I might hang out with a girl for a while who I don't necessarily find attractive. At first, I might think that I don't like her, but the more I get to know her, the more I might connect with her, I might develop feelings for her. This is what it really means to like someone.
I might hang out with someone I find attractive and think I like that person, but after a while I get to know them and find out they're really a *****! Then I don't like them so much.
I did finally realize the difference between attraction and like. The problem, I think, is possibly that most men never do figure out the difference.
All I can say is you should never decide if you like somebody based on their looks. What really matters is how you get along with the person and if you can feel that spark.
My final point is that at first you may not be attracted to someone, but over time, as you begin to like them, attraction follows. However, attraction first doesn't always lead to like later.