A Possible Insight into how Some Men think

[Jesse]

So I've realized something about myself and thought maybe it would apply to other men. If so it could help you ladies understand how we work.

When it comes to attraction and whether or not I like somebody, well to be honest, the first thing I notice is the looks of someone. Before even getting to know a lady, a man might decide if he "likes" her based on her appearance. A man might develop "types" of women he likes. Say, a petite girl with long hair, or say a heavier type girl with short hair, perhaps tall women. Well a man may think he likes certain types of women, but at least for me that's only the initial feeling.

For instance; I may see a woman who I find attractive. Men are hardwired in a way that sight can be interpreted as feeling. Because I find a girl attractive, I might think I like her. The problem is men, myself included, confuse being attracted to somebody with liking them.

Now I might hang out with a girl for a while who I don't necessarily find attractive. At first, I might think that I don't like her, but the more I get to know her, the more I might connect with her, I might develop feelings for her. This is what it really means to like someone.

I might hang out with someone I find attractive and think I like that person, but after a while I get to know them and find out they're really a *****! Then I don't like them so much.

I did finally realize the difference between attraction and like. The problem, I think, is possibly that most men never do figure out the difference.

All I can say is you should never decide if you like somebody based on their looks. What really matters is how you get along with the person and if you can feel that spark.

My final point is that at first you may not be attracted to someone, but over time, as you begin to like them, attraction follows. However, attraction first doesn't always lead to like later.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Wow.... I always thought I love hawt wild women.
My ex-wf had this thing about being a *****.
yeap...yeap she was one mean ***** that can drink like a fish.
I guess I develope feelings for her...She messed my brains out everynight.
That's probably why I couldn't think straight half of the time.
That women looked hawt even when she looked like honeysuckle.
I had this crazy attraction for her...
I love her very, very much..that's why I asked her to married me...inspite of her bitchiness.
I fall heads over heels for her when she dose her sweet baby talk.
I kid you not...she used to piss me off on purpose then tell me to fresia her brains out.
She totally blew my mind and set my world on fire. I loved it.

 

[ExiledWays]

I think that you're right, but I would say that both men and women tend to base too much on looks.

I try to never judge someone based on their physical traits, but with that said I still think that the visual impression you get has some importance, since it's usually the first one you get when you meet a person.

For me the thing that matters (and it doesn't matter that much to begin with) is style and the way someone acts. Those are the things that can make a person seem more interesting at first glance to me, and I think they are way more important than the "core" physical attributes, becouse they can actually tell you something about the person.

 

[Naval_Fluff]

I dunno....I like girls that like to hold hands and snuggle and whatnot. I can't stand some of the preppier girls that just talk about stupid honeysuckle all the time. I like to talk about how I feel with a girl and for her to talk about how she feels back

 

[Nyktimos]

I'll always find something wrong with a girl, whatever her looks or personality. I'm scared of being in love, more now than ever before.

Reading Melissa's Ode to the Nice Girls thread brought home to me what a total arsehole I am. I've spent my whole life looking for a nice girl. Someone I could trust. I found a few. My current girlfriend, in spite of her problems, could be said to be one. But when it came down to it, the only woman I ever really loved isn't one of those girls. She's everything I always told myself I didn't want in someone I love. But she made me feel complete in a way I've never felt with anyone before. The only thing I have in common with those nice girls I've always looked for is a responsible attitude towards sex, and a mutual need for trust. Frankly, that doesn't make a relationship. It's just a way of avoiding paranoia.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Liking someone or wanting to be with someone for their looks is called being shallow. What if someone is quiet or doesn't talk much, but they are the right person for you? Or doesn't look that great, but you'd be awesome with them? You'd never know because you wouldn't go talk to them. I don't get why guys are like that.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Liking someone or wanting to be with someone for their looks is called being shallow. What if someone is quiet or doesn't talk much, but they are the right person for you? Or doesn't look that great, but you'd be awesome with them? You'd never know because you wouldn't go talk to them. I don't get why guys are like that.

Oh wow....A hawt babe that dosn't talk much...
Where can I get me one of those ????

 

[VanillaCreme]

Liking someone or wanting to be with someone for their looks is called being shallow. What if someone is quiet or doesn't talk much, but they are the right person for you? Or doesn't look that great, but you'd be awesome with them? You'd never know because you wouldn't go talk to them. I don't get why guys are like that.

Oh wow....A hawt babe that dosn't talk much...
Where can I get me one of those ????

Yea, you don't get it... I wouldn't expect you to.

 

[Twitchy]

It's never really been a big secret that men are more visually oriented when picking a mate than women. I don't think it's neccessarily superficial, it's just the way the majority of our brains seem to operate. To be fair, I've seen women that act this way as well.

It's not as if every woman in the world has to be a model. The main things I notice are how well she's "put together". How she moves, behaves towards others and her demeanor take precedent over "breast size" or any of that other stupid garbage.

What good is a goddess if she treats you like scum?

 

[Jesse]

Liking someone or wanting to be with someone for their looks is called being shallow. What if someone is quiet or doesn't talk much, but they are the right person for you? Or doesn't look that great, but you'd be awesome with them? You'd never know because you wouldn't go talk to them. I don't get why guys are like that.

I agree. For me to like someone or want to be with them I have to get to know them first.

Now as to why guys decide they want to be with someone because of their looks- well I think it's because they confuse physical attraction with liking someone or maybe all that matters to them is physical attraction. That's not good because looks aren't forever; personality is.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Liking someone or wanting to be with someone for their looks is called being shallow. What if someone is quiet or doesn't talk much, but they are the right person for you? Or doesn't look that great, but you'd be awesome with them? You'd never know because you wouldn't go talk to them. I don't get why guys are like that.

Oh wow....A hawt babe that dosn't talk much...
Where can I get me one of those ????

Yea, you don't get it... I wouldn't expect you to.

Of course I do. Just like billions of people on this planet dose.
Havn't you picked up a latest issue of Cosmo ?:rolleyes2:

I seriously think my ex-gf didn't look too smexy passed out in a puddle of puke
every other night nor I found it conveint or romancing watching her try
to kill herself day in and day out. I might be confused by many things..
However I love Sherry very, very much. This I'm not confused about.
Besides..she has a big noticible scar on her face.
She also lost half of her hair while into her addiction bindge.
When she hitted bottom it wasn't a pretty site all the way around.
I just didn't hang out and compaired notes with her..lol

None of that...just throwing an egg in a frying pan version.
The one with the chick with a frying pan in her fucken hand bashing in
everything around her,...depicked little bit of what the turth was for me..lol

Once of these days..I might dedicate a thread to people with insomia.
I'll wirte a 200 page thread for a possible insite of what a man might think,
when he wakes up every morning and is asked to stop loving a woman that
is the love of his life....

 

[Spare]

There are biological reasons for this, as well. Thankfully, as a species, we're finally beginning to show signs of evolving out of them.

 

[Athiest #001]

I never understood men preferring or claiming to exclusively be attracted to specific visual "types". There are plenty of guys and gals at my work who claim they like a certain body type. Thats fine, but for me... I never felt that way. I find all sorts of women attractive for various reasons (some reasons that don't even make sense to me). It just plain annoys me when guys say an attractive woman is "not his type", seriously looks don't ******* matter, why would you claim to not want to date someone because they don't look like you want them to. I find it ridiculous and annoying.

 

[Jesse]

I hope nobody misunderstands how I view this. Yes, there are certain physical types that I may be initially attracted to, but that doesn't mean I refuse to go out with someone who isn't that type. In fact, the only women I've had experiences with, and have fallen in love with, have been women that I was not initially physically attracted to. I'll never close my mind to the possibility of dating someone that I'm not attracted to at first sight. I actually find that I can be myself easier with those women.

 

[Athiest #001]

I hope nobody misunderstands how I view this. Yes, there are certain physical types that I may be initially attracted to, but that doesn't mean I refuse to go out with someone who isn't that type. In fact, the only women I've had experiences with, and have fallen in love with, have been women that I was not initially physically attracted to. I'll never close my mind to the possibility of dating someone that I'm not attracted to at first sight. I actually find that I can be myself easier with those women.

Yeah I wasn't accusing you of that I was just saying I know there are a lot of people who come off like that. (or actually are)

 

[cheaptrickfan]

I did finally realize the difference between attraction and like. The problem, I think, is possibly that most men never do figure out the difference.

This is an understatement. I know men my own age who are still wholly fixated on the "You are hawt, so it must be love" idea, so you're ahead of the game.