A thread about farts

[futurecatlady]

There's something that's been bugging me for a while now, and I figure--if I can't ask this here, where can I?

So for the last year and a half, ever since I moved across the country and started working, I've been a bit... well... gassy. I constantly feel like I'm trying to hold one in, and although I've perfected the art to a point that my risk of dusting the crops in normal social situations is minimal, I worry about more intimate moments. I used to cuddle with my friends all the time in college, and it was blissfully gas-free, but nowadays I avoid even sharing the same couch with someone lest they suspect the intense physical struggle I am constantly going through. It's gotten to the point that on the rare occasion that I have a party or a date, I only eat white rice the whole day (which, fun fact: does not make you fart). I may or may not have a guy who I have the potential of future close contact with, and I cannot imagine my mortification if I were to inadvertently bless him with a gust of wind.

I am not sure exactly what could be causing this. My diet is pretty normal and consistent nutritionally. I have gained a little weight (maybe 5 pounds?) but that's actually placed me in a healthier range than I was before. My physical activity level is woefully inadequate, but I'm not sure that would be the only cause.

So, fellow social awkwardites of the world, do you have any suggestions/personal stories/name-calling for a flatulent female?

 

[LoneKiller]

Even healthy food can cause gas which leads to excessive flatulence. There are a wide variety of otc drugs that can provide you with some relief. Alcohol can cause it as well. If you drink lots of beer or spirits mixed with pop. It can contribute to excessive flatulence as well.

EDIT: If all else fails. Try a cork.

 

[Barbaloot]

Like LK said, there are pills for it. And diet is of course the major cause - most kinds of vegetables and dairy products can cause flatulence. Yogurt however can help if you're not lactose intolerant. Even dietary allergies can be the cause, carbonated drinks, sometimes even anxiety and stress. Also not drinking enough water.

 

[Phaedron]

Maybe train yourself to make a special time for it. I used to eat soup every morning and have to pass gas by the time we did the pledge of alligence at middle school.
If you get good at it, you can do something like this:

[video=youtube]

I don't think you should worry about it too much. If you're around someone for an intimate amount of time, these things are bound to happen sooner or later.
Thats why one of your dates should go something like this:

[video=youtube]

 

[Gutted]

Irritable bowel syndrome maybe? If you've not been to a doc you should go. Just to be sure.

 

[futurecatlady]

Was invited to apartment today. Declined because of farts. Whyyyyy. =( =( =(

 

[Parabolani]

it's either anxiety or diet.

 

[Sci-Fi]

You should go see a doctor as embarrassing as it might be they've had worse. There could be a number of reasons for your problem like many have already suggested. When you think about it, what is more embarrassing, going to a doctor or never being able to sit in a car with a date?

On a side note, and for the most part it has been, but lets keep this thread on a medical note and not have it turn into something else. Thanks.

 

[Barbaloot]

On a side note, and for the most part it has been, but lets keep this thread on a medical note and not have it turn into something else. Thanks.

I'm curious as to what that 'something else' would be.

 

[futurecatlady]

On a side note, and for the most part it has been, but lets keep this thread on a medical note and not have it turn into something else. Thanks.

Thanks, Sci-Fi, but I welcome silliness as well. Y'all are welcome to poke fun, although practical tips are always appreciated.

 

[Sarah_Lbnz]

Could be anything. Do they smell excessively bad? Are you stressed? Could be allergies to foods? I had this issue and it cleared up by cutting out/reducing meat, eggs, soy, sugar and most wheat. I ate yoghurt everyday, fresh fruits and vegetables, brown rice, beans, grains, rye bread. I decided that I had excessive sugar so cut that out, and it really did make a difference in my mood, activity level, bowel movements and smells.

I sound like my grandma. I ate a lot of prunes too. fuq i am old

 

[Trent]

i have nothing to say

*pfffbbbt*