A very long post...

[QuietGuy]

Tomorrow morning, I'm probably going to regret posting this, but right now, I need to post it, so here goes.

I seriously considered posting this in the diary forum, because I really don't need or want any replies. I just need to dump some of the toxic thoughts that are swirling around in my mind, before my brain gets too poisoned. My mind is currently twisted up pretty bad, and this is the only way I can think of to straighten it out. You're under no obligation to continue reading, and I should caution you that if you do continue reading, it won't be pleasant, happy, enjoyable, sensible, logical or rational. These words are not here for anyone to necessarily read. It just makes me feel better to know that they're out of my head and out there on the anonymous internet.

Introduction

I've been trying to figure out precisely what it is about being single for so many years (and continuing to be single) that fills me with such unbearable pain, such agonising heartache, such excruciating loneliness. And I think it's this: I feel I'm an abnormal and incomplete human being.

Abnormal

I'll put it simply: I'm 27, I've had precisely one relationship, when I was 21, which lasted for just 6 months, and I've now been single for the last 6 years. That's abnormal. The majority consider themselves normal, so to be in a minority is to be abnormal. The vast majority of guys in their 20s are having wonderful intimate experiences with girls, and I'm not. That's just ******* abnormal.

When I walk down the street (especially in the summer), and see lots of smiling couples holding hands, I look at them and think to myself: "You're normal. You're doing exactly what you should be doing, which is having fun with the opposite sex. I'm glad for you. I'm happy for you, because you're normal. But what the fresia is wrong with me? Why should I be the ******* abnormal one? The odd one out? What did I do to deserve this?"

Imagine a guy who never learned to walk when he was a baby. All he could do was crawl around on the floor. All through his childhood, teenage years, and adulthood, he never learned to walk. He's now a grown man, but he still crawls around on the floor. He doesn't walk along the pavement, he crawls along it. People would stare at him, and think: "What the fresia is wrong with this guy?? Why hasn't he learned to walk?? That's just ******* abnormal. What a ******* weirdo." That's exactly how I feel. Normal guys start dating girls in their mid teenage years, and lose their virginity between about 16 and 19. By the time they're 27, normal guys have had loads and loads of experience with girls. I feel that if normal people found out about my absurd ridiculous lack of relationships and experience with girls, they would feel the same utter incredulity as seeing a grown man crawling along the pavement. "What the fresia is wrong with this guy?? He's 27 and he's only had one 6-month relationship, SIX YEARS AGO?? That's just ******* abnormal. What a ******* weirdo."

I just feel like I'm disconnected from the entire world. I'm in the world, but not of the world. I'm not a normal human being. I must be some weird mutant from another planet.

Obviously, normal people are single from time to time, and that's fine. They use the time when they're temporarily single to enjoy their hobbies etc, confident in the fact that their next partner will arrive very soon. But I've been "enjoying my hobbies" for 6 painfully long years now, and I'm ******* FED UP of filling my time with my lonely hobbies. I want a ******* girlfriend, like every other normal guy on this planet.

Incomplete

Recently, a lot of my friends have got engaged or got married. I've attended their weddings, and I've listened to them while they go on and on about how insanely happy they are, about how meeting their partner is the most wonderful thing that's ever happened to them in their entire life, about how they're currently dancing around in some ecstatic blissful euphoria, watched them actually start crying because they're so in love, etc, etc.

Now, of course, they're my friends, and I'm genuinely very happy for them. Everyone in this world deserves to find that kind of love, and I'm genuinely glad that they have.

But when I listen to them, I realise one horrifically painful thing - they feel so complete, and I feel so ******* incomplete. It's like someone's taken a carving knife, gruesomely stabbed me and cut out one of my lungs from my chest. A human being is not designed to exist with only one lung. A human being is not designed to live their life alone without a lover.

I'm so fed up with all this ******* philosophical bullshit about "you have to feel complete by yourself". No, I need to have a partner to feel complete. That's why the human race has two ******* genders. Male and female. Each is only half complete without the other. If someone's husband or wife died in a horrible accident, I wouldn't go dancing up to them and say: "Don't worry, you don't need them, you can feel complete by yourself!"

Chess requires two sets of 16 pieces, white and black. A chess set is useless if you only have the black pieces. I suppose you could find some random use for the black pieces on their own, but they're basically pointless unless there are white pieces for them to interact with. I feel like a set of black chess pieces, looking across the chessboard at the empty spaces where the white pieces should be. I have such a burning desire to play a wonderful rich game of chess, but instead I sit here, silent, motionless, alone.

I feel like an empty shell of a person. On the outside, I appear to be solid, happy and cheerful, but inside is nothing but emptiness. I'm like an empty glass. The purpose of a glass is to hold water. Having a glass is pointless if there's no water to fill it with. I need a lover to fill this horrible empty void in my existence.

Conclusion

I try so hard to be a good person, to do what I know is right. I don't indulge in alcohol, smoking, drugs, gambling, crime, or anything of the sort. I put so much effort into being the best person I can possibly be. All I ask in return is that, out of the 3 billion girls on this planet, I want just one to love me. I don't need all 3 billion girls to love me. Just one. One girl. That's all I ask.

A common piece of advice given to single people is: "Think of all the qualities you'd like to find in a partner, express those qualities yourself, and you will attract your ideal partner to you." I want a girlfriend who is unselfish, thoughtful of other people, caring, sensitive, grateful for all the good that she has, patient with other people, etc. So every day, I do my absolute best to express these qualities in my interactions with people in my everyday life. I've been doing this daily for 6 long years now. And I'm still ******* single. Great ******* advice, thanks.

Every time I meet a girl I'm genuinely sincerely attracted to, precisely the same outcome occurs. I'm so used to it now, it doesn't really surprise or disappoint me any more. I'll somehow let her know that I'm attracted to her, either through my ridiculous attempts at flirting, or simply telling her that I really like her, etc. And every time, there's some ******* excuse. She already has a boyfriend. She's not attracted to me. She's just been through a painful break-up, and won't be ready to begin dating again for a long time. But above all, she sees me as "just a nice guy". I'm so ******* fed up with being "just a nice guy".

As good old Robbie Williams says: "I got so much love, running through my veins, going to waste." I may be sadly mistaken, but I believe I have so much love running through my veins, and there must be a girl somewhere in the world who would appreciate the love I have to give her. And I'm not really talking about sex. I'm talking about the basic human need for love, comfort, tenderness, companionship. I believe I can offer a girl such wonderful tender love. I feel my heart radiating with so much potential love... and it's all just flowing away down the ******* drain.

OK, I'm done. If you really have read all the way here from the beginning, then I thank you. I think I'll go and lie on my bed now in the darkness, cry myself to sleep, and wake up tomorrow with my tiny microscopic little candle flame of hope still burning... but only just. "I know what I have to do now. I gotta keep breathing. Because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?"

Postlude

I'll leave you with the saddest music that has ever been composed. It makes me cry uncontrollable tears every single time I listen to it. It even makes me cry just thinking of the music, hearing it in my mind. It's the perfect soundtrack to my lonely life...

[youtube]amH5UUFtlc4[/youtube]

 

[Vic Sage]

Tomorrow morning, I'm probably going to regret posting this, but right now, I need to post it, so here goes.

I seriously considered posting this in the diary forum, because I really don't need or want any replies. I just need to dump some of the toxic thoughts that are swirling around in my mind, before my brain gets too poisoned. My mind is currently twisted up pretty bad, and this is the only way I can think of to straighten it out. You're under no obligation to continue reading, and I should caution you that if you do continue reading, it won't be pleasant, happy, enjoyable, sensible, logical or rational. These words are not here for anyone to necessarily read. It just makes me feel better to know that they're out of my head and out there on the anonymous internet.

Introduction

I've been trying to figure out precisely what it is about being single for so many years (and continuing to be single) that fills me with such unbearable pain, such agonising heartache, such excruciating loneliness. And I think it's this: I feel I'm an abnormal and incomplete human being.

Abnormal

I'll put it simply: I'm 27, I've had precisely one relationship, when I was 21, which lasted for just 6 months, and I've now been single for the last 6 years. That's abnormal. The majority consider themselves normal, so to be in a minority is to be abnormal. The vast majority of guys in their 20s are having wonderful intimate experiences with girls, and I'm not. That's just ******* abnormal.

When I walk down the street (especially in the summer), and see lots of smiling couples holding hands, I look at them and think to myself: "You're normal. You're doing exactly what you should be doing, which is having fun with the opposite sex. I'm glad for you. I'm happy for you, because you're normal. But what the fresia is wrong with me? Why should I be the ******* abnormal one? The odd one out? What did I do to deserve this?"

Imagine a guy who never learned to walk when he was a baby. All he could do was crawl around on the floor. All through his childhood, teenage years, and adulthood, he never learned to walk. He's now a grown man, but he still crawls around on the floor. He doesn't walk along the pavement, he crawls along it. People would stare at him, and think: "What the fresia is wrong with this guy?? Why hasn't he learned to walk?? That's just ******* abnormal. What a ******* weirdo." That's exactly how I feel. Normal guys start dating girls in their mid teenage years, and lose their virginity between about 16 and 19. By the time they're 27, normal guys have had loads and loads of experience with girls. I feel that if normal people found out about my absurd ridiculous lack of relationships and experience with girls, they would feel the same utter incredulity as seeing a grown man crawling along the pavement. "What the fresia is wrong with this guy?? He's 27 and he's only had one 6-month relationship, SIX YEARS AGO?? That's just ******* abnormal. What a ******* weirdo."

I just feel like I'm disconnected from the entire world. I'm in the world, but not of the world. I'm not a normal human being. I must be some weird mutant from another planet.

Obviously, normal people are single from time to time, and that's fine. They use the time when they're temporarily single to enjoy their hobbies etc, confident in the fact that their next partner will arrive very soon. But I've been "enjoying my hobbies" for 6 painfully long years now, and I'm ******* FED UP of filling my time with my lonely hobbies. I want a ******* girlfriend, like every other normal guy on this planet.

Incomplete

Recently, a lot of my friends have got engaged or got married. I've attended their weddings, and I've listened to them while they go on and on about how insanely happy they are, about how meeting their partner is the most wonderful thing that's ever happened to them in their entire life, about how they're currently dancing around in some ecstatic blissful euphoria, watched them actually start crying because they're so in love, etc, etc.

Now, of course, they're my friends, and I'm genuinely very happy for them. Everyone in this world deserves to find that kind of love, and I'm genuinely glad that they have.

But when I listen to them, I realise one horrifically painful thing - they feel so complete, and I feel so ******* incomplete. It's like someone's taken a carving knife, gruesomely stabbed me and cut out one of my lungs from my chest. A human being is not designed to exist with only one lung. A human being is not designed to live their life alone without a lover.

I'm so fed up with all this ******* philosophical bullshit about "you have to feel complete by yourself". No, I need to have a partner to feel complete. That's why the human race has two ******* genders. Male and female. Each is only half complete without the other. If someone's husband or wife died in a horrible accident, I wouldn't go dancing up to them and say: "Don't worry, you don't need them, you can feel complete by yourself!"

Chess requires two sets of 16 pieces, white and black. A chess set is useless if you only have the black pieces. I suppose you could find some random use for the black pieces on their own, but they're basically pointless unless there are white pieces for them to interact with. I feel like a set of black chess pieces, looking across the chessboard at the empty spaces where the white pieces should be. I have such a burning desire to play a wonderful rich game of chess, but instead I sit here, silent, motionless, alone.

I feel like an empty shell of a person. On the outside, I appear to be solid, happy and cheerful, but inside is nothing but emptiness. I'm like an empty glass. The purpose of a glass is to hold water. Having a glass is pointless if there's no water to fill it with. I need a lover to fill this horrible empty void in my existence.

Conclusion

I try so hard to be a good person, to do what I know is right. I don't indulge in alcohol, smoking, drugs, gambling, crime, or anything of the sort. I put so much effort into being the best person I can possibly be. All I ask in return is that, out of the 3 billion girls on this planet, I want just one to love me. I don't need all 3 billion girls to love me. Just one. One girl. That's all I ask.

A common piece of advice given to single people is: "Think of all the qualities you'd like to find in a partner, express those qualities yourself, and you will attract your ideal partner to you." I want a girlfriend who is unselfish, thoughtful of other people, caring, sensitive, grateful for all the good that she has, patient with other people, etc. So every day, I do my absolute best to express these qualities in my interactions with people in my everyday life. I've been doing this daily for 6 long years now. And I'm still ******* single. Great ******* advice, thanks.

Every time I meet a girl I'm genuinely sincerely attracted to, precisely the same outcome occurs. I'm so used to it now, it doesn't really surprise or disappoint me any more. I'll somehow let her know that I'm attracted to her, either through my ridiculous attempts at flirting, or simply telling her that I really like her, etc. And every time, there's some ******* excuse. She already has a boyfriend. She's not attracted to me. She's just been through a painful break-up, and won't be ready to begin dating again for a long time. But above all, she sees me as "just a nice guy". I'm so ******* fed up with being "just a nice guy".

As good old Robbie Williams says: "I got so much love, running through my veins, going to waste." I may be sadly mistaken, but I believe I have so much love running through my veins, and there must be a girl somewhere in the world who would appreciate the love I have to give her. And I'm not really talking about sex. I'm talking about the basic human need for love, comfort, tenderness, companionship. I believe I can offer a girl such wonderful tender love. I feel my heart radiating with so much potential love... and it's all just flowing away down the ******* drain.

OK, I'm done. If you really have read all the way here from the beginning, then I thank you. I think I'll go and lie on my bed now in the darkness, cry myself to sleep, and wake up tomorrow with my tiny microscopic little candle flame of hope still burning... but only just. "I know what I have to do now. I gotta keep breathing. Because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?"

Postlude

I'll leave you with the saddest music that has ever been composed. It makes me cry uncontrollable tears every single time I listen to it. It even makes me cry just thinking of the music, hearing it in my mind. It's the perfect soundtrack to my lonely life...

I thought you were sort-of seeing someone, in one of your threads called "So there's this girl..."?
[youtube]amH5UUFtlc4[/youtube]

 

[EveWasFramed]

I don't really know what to say, other than...

You aren't asking too much. Some people need a partner to feel complete. There's nothing wrong with feeling that way. I hope you find exactly what you're looking for too. The fact that you attempt to stay positive most of the time is in your favor. I'm glad that you chose to vent here - venting is good from time to time.

(((((hugs)))))

 

[SofiasMami]

Hi-
I agree with Eve, it's good to vent - it helps clear the mind.
I've been where you are too and it's definitely not pleasant. The same tapes sometimes loop through my mind telling me I'm weird for being single for the past 3.5 years. And a lot of my friends are married with their happy spouses and kids and family dog. Why can't it be easy to just meet the right person and live happily ever after? Good luck to you-

Teresa

 

[Badjedidude]

I'll put it simply: I'm 27, I've had precisely one relationship, when I was 21, which lasted for just 6 months, and I've now been single for the last 6 years. That's abnormal. The majority consider themselves normal, so to be in a minority is to be abnormal. The vast majority of guys in their 20s are having wonderful intimate experiences with girls, and I'm not. That's just ******* abnormal.

No it's not.

In fact I'd almost say that more 20-somethings are NOT in relationships, or are off-and-on with girls all the time.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Who's to say what's normal and what isn't? We all live our lives differently, and we all have different things going on for us. It's not supposed to be a set timing for everything or everyone.

 

[SofiasMami]

I'll put it simply: I'm 27, I've had precisely one relationship, when I was 21, which lasted for just 6 months, and I've now been single for the last 6 years. That's abnormal. The majority consider themselves normal, so to be in a minority is to be abnormal. The vast majority of guys in their 20s are having wonderful intimate experiences with girls, and I'm not. That's just ******* abnormal.

No it's not.

In fact I'd almost say that more 20-somethings are NOT in relationships, or are off-and-on with girls all the time.

Hi-
I have to say I agree with this. Having been around the block a few times, for what it's worth, the vast majority of people in their 20s are not having wonderful intimate experiences with the opposite sex. I do know that people in their 20s may be concerned about how they are seen by other people and may put out the image that they are just as happy as pie with their significant others, even if it's truly the opposite.
The cool thing about getting older is the moments when you think to yourself "other people think or do the exact same thing?? I thought I was the only one". And it turns out that all along, you weren't the only one...

Teresa

 

[Spare]

Your situation is almost a mirror image of mine, except mine is two years more advanced (I'm 29). It's hard. Very hard. I was in my lone relationship for just under a year. It got very serious. Marriage was discussed, and eventually we both assumed it to be a foregone conclusion. It was a very complicated relationship though, and over the course of a couple of months at the beginning of this year it rapidly faded to nothing (on her end). I was, and am, crushed. But as you quoted, tomorrow the sun will rise, whether I'm crushed or not. To quote another movie, "you gotta keep on keepin' on!"

As for the music, you're right, it's very sad. Alan Silvestri is good at sad. Whenever I listen to that music, I see dark and endless clouds overshadowing an endless gray sea. But every once in a while the clouds break, and a brilliant ray of light pierces through the gloom and chases away the darkening shroud that lay upon the water, replacing it with a shimmering golden blue. It is sadness tinged with hope; just like life.

 

[tehdreamer]

It's not always bad to be in a minority group. At least you're not a singularity or some abnormality. There's lots of people out there just like you who are going through the very same thing and are experiencing the very same feelings.

I know I have lots of love to give and I know some day I'll find someone who actually wants to be loved.

 

[QuietGuy]

I apologise to you all - that really was an unpleasant post. I very rarely get as bad as that. But I do feel a little bit better, now that all that poison is out of my head. I think I was probably at the lowest point of one of my wild mood swings

I thought you were sort-of seeing someone, in one of your threads called "So there's this girl..."?

No, sadly not. The girl in my other thread is lovely, and very special to me, and I see her regularly now (just as friends), but she's really very depressed at the moment, and definitely not ready to think about dating anyone. She doesn't have many friends, so I'm grateful that I'm friends with her, and can help support her through this difficult time.

The fact that you attempt to stay positive most of the time is in your favor.

Yeah, I fight extremely hard to maintain some sort of positive attitude towards life. I often feel like a boxer who's received a powerful punch and been knocked to the floor. I refuse to let the referee count to ten and declare a knockout. I will always get back on my feet, albeit in pain, and carry on. I refuse to become a miserable pessimistic grumpy old git. Each sunrise is a new day, with new opportunities. There's always hope, for all of us.

In fact I'd almost say that more 20-somethings are NOT in relationships, or are off-and-on with girls all the time.

Having been around the block a few times, for what it's worth, the vast majority of people in their 20s are not having wonderful intimate experiences with the opposite sex. I do know that people in their 20s may be concerned about how they are seen by other people and may put out the image that they are just as happy as pie with their significant others, even if it's truly the opposite.

You could be right. Maybe I just have an unusual group of friends, most of whom are either in long-term relationships or getting married, giving me the false impression that everyone of my age is doing this too.

Who's to say what's normal and what isn't? We all live our lives differently, and we all have different things going on for us. It's not supposed to be a set timing for everything or everyone.

My definition of "normal" is "what the majority of people do". For example, by the time a baby is 18 months old, he should have a vocabulary of about 5 to 20 words, and be able to follow simple commands. It's pure statistics - take an average of the behaviour of all babies. When it comes to relationships, we could take a survey of 1 million guys in their 20s, and see how much experience they've had with girls on average. That would be my definition of "normal". And by that definition, I feel very abnormal (although I admit that my belief may be incorrect, as Badjedidude and SofiasMami have said).


Spare - I'm so sorry your relationship faded away after looking so promising I really wish I could say something to help ease your pain.

tehdreamer - Yes, it's true that many other people are experiencing the same thing as me, and I guess that's reassuring, in an odd "cold comfort" sort of way.

Grass. It isn't always greener.

This is slightly off-topic, but still relevant.

I had an interesting experience today. One of my friends is always extremely cheerful. She's currently engaged to a lovely guy, and they're planning their wedding together. (Yes, another one of my friends who's getting married!) Naturally I'm happy for her, because she's my friend. But deep down inside me (I'm ashamed to admit it), there was a little bit of envy and jealousy. The grass is so much greener on her side... or so I thought...

Today, we had a really deep chat, and she revealed to me that many things in her life are going really badly. Her family are being extremely cruel and unpleasant towards her (it's a long story), she hates her job, she's fed up with the people she works with, she unfortunately missed a great promotion opportunity, etc. It was such a shock to me. It turns out that she wears a very convincing mask of happiness and cheerfulness most of the time, because she doesn't want to involve other people in her problems.

Suddenly, the grass now almost looks greener on my side. I may not be engaged to a wonderful girl, but a lot of other things in my life are going OK. Instantly, my little envy and jealousy disappeared, to be replaced with sympathy and compassion for all her problems.

I wonder just how many millions of people walk around wearing masks, hiding their inner pain with a false appearance of happiness? How many couples walk down the street, apparently in love, but they're holding hands merely out of habit, and all the romance has faded from their relationship? It really made me think...

 

[EveWasFramed]

I wonder just how many millions of people walk around wearing masks, hiding their inner pain with a false appearance of happiness? How many couples walk down the street, apparently in love, but they're holding hands merely out of habit, and all the romance has faded from their relationship? It really made me think...

I've always found that those among us who we rarely speak of unhappiness in their lives, are often the ones who are just very adept at hiding it. True story.

 

[nerdygirl]

*hugs*

 

[Luna]

Hi there QuietGuy,

I don't have much to offer, but from reading your posts, you sound like an awesome person with impeccable manners!

Also I ♥♥♥ the way that you express yourself.

If I could, I'd give you the biggest hug right now.

 

[Electric_Fusilier]

QuietGuy

While I was in my twenties, I was single for 9 YEARS before I met the lady who would become my ex. One girlfriend in my late teens, and then ... well, it just didn't seem to happen anymore. I did have a lot of problems with serious depression and unemployment during my 20s, so TBH, I wasn't really thinking about hitching up anytime soon. But I did get the pangs from time to time - oh yeah. And then one day, a very nice and very attractive lady sent me an email about a dating profile I had put up ages ago (more for a laugh than anything), and very soon she became my companion.

Of course, it failed. But nigh on 10 years ain't so bad for a relationship. Here's the strange thing, though - as soon as it was kind of official that we were girlfriend and boyfriend, I had women hitting on me ALL THE TIME. Bizarre! Needless to say, I was a right proper gent an all, and stayed faithful to my gal.

 

[Nina]

Quiet guy--
I can echo Eve's thoughts about folks who look the happiest are often harboring the greatest saddness.
It is vital to get all the toxins out. I've been working at trying to do that for a number of years, myself.
May we all eventually find our way past the pain....

 

[QuietGuy]

I've always found that those among us who we rarely speak of unhappiness in their lives, are often the ones who are just very adept at hiding it. True story.

I can echo Eve's thoughts about folks who look the happiest are often harboring the greatest saddness.

If that's true, then there must be a lot more pain and unhappiness in the world than there appears to be

*hugs*

I don't have much to offer, but from reading your posts, you sound like an awesome person with impeccable manners!

Thanks Luna

Also I ♥♥♥ the way that you express yourself.

I have to say you write some wonderful, really creative posts. I love the way you carefully craft some of your posts like poetry or theatrical presentations - I'm thinking specifically of this one and this one. I really admire your creativity

If I could, I'd give you the biggest hug right now.

Hehe, thanks! I feel your cyber-hug


Electric_Fusilier - I'm not sure why you say "Of course, it failed." Why "of course"? Anyhow, I'm so glad you found your special lady, and had a really long relationship, after waiting for so many years. And well done for staying faithful to her, in the face of all that temptation

Maybe there's a lesson we can learn from your "bizarre" experience - once you were officially dating her, your self-esteem and self-confidence probably received a huge boost, and other girls noticed this and were attracted to it.


I apologise again for all the poison I dumped on you caring guys, and for mostly ignoring everyone else's threads for the past week. I want to support you guys as much as you've been supporting me, but this week has been unusually bad for me. I won't have internet access next week, but after that, I promise to be more supportive and less selfish. Thank you so much for listening. You guys are the best

 

[Electric_Fusilier]

Electric_Fusilier - I'm not sure why you say "Of course, it failed." Why "of course"? Anyhow, I'm so glad you found your special lady, and had a really long relationship, after waiting for so many years. And well done for staying faithful to her, in the face of all that temptation

Maybe there's a lesson we can learn from your "bizarre" experience - once you were officially dating her, your self-esteem and self-confidence probably received a huge boost, and other girls noticed this and were attracted to it.

Lol - the 'of course' bit was just to make it clear I was referring to my ex. Truth be told, I though it would last til the end of our days. Alas, no.

You're probably right about the self-esteem thing as being the result of being in a relationship. I've heard that this 'suddenly attractive after getting hooked-up' thing is a well-known phenomenon anyway.

 

[cheaptrickfan]

Here's the strange thing, though - as soon as it was kind of official that we were girlfriend and boyfriend, I had women hitting on me ALL THE TIME.

That is one of the great dating ironies. That has happened to me several times.
Apparently being in the flush of a new relationship can make some of us insanely irresistible.

 

[Nina]

Quiet guy--
I do think there is a lot more saddness than we realize. I also think many of us wear those, happy faces, in an attempt to convince ourselves that we're happy, as much as want to convince others. It's sort of like a "fake it till you make it" philosophy that doesn't always work out so well.

 

[change 4 good]

I say good for you for actually posting quiet guy. When I joined this site I was on a real low and yet I went and sat on a chair in a ball and cried trying to cope alone rather than posting because I felt too scared to open up and let it all out. I think you had the right idea and if it has made you feel a bit better than that's even better! )

You sound like such a lovely guy...I hope you find someone...you certainly deserve someone.

All the best