Addictive Relationships

[Box'O'Chocolates]

So recently (around 6 months ago) I got out of a relationship where I could offer nothing more to keep my partner happy, the more we talked about things, the more apparent the staleness of our relationship became and thus we decided to call it a day.

I feel however that this split was my own fault seeing as I was the one who could not do much cause of either money constraints or the fact we were in a long distance relationship, needless to say our relationship just moved sideways.

Anyways it has dawned upon me that no matter how stale our relationship was we depended on each other for the company, and while the love between us dwindled to nothingness, we were still very very good friends until we called it off, now I cannot get in-touch with them and i am worried about them, this is where the Addictive Relationship thing starts you see.

Because we depended upon each other for company so much we/I don't have anyone who I can talk to or hangout with, and I am finding it hard to actually drag myself out of this rut I appear to be in, I don't know how to make friends or approach people anymore, and I am bland, as in I don't believe I have any redeeming features they would help me stand out and make friends.

Currently I get this empty feeling in my gut, unfortunately it mirrors the lonelyness I am currently experiencing and it only started to happen now I am not in contact with my ex-partner, I don't want to go out either but for some reason I keep finding myself looking over at a bottle of vodka I have on my desk that is still unopened after a year.

Now I realize that if you have read through this mess of confusion, backtracking lack of self-worth and stuff than you are most likely thinking I am an idiot or fool who is talking nonsense, but to me it makes perfect sense, I may not be the best at putting my feelings into words, and I may not be the best at explaining my feelings, but this is the only way I can think of to express how depressed and lonely I am.

Sorry for bothering you with a whine thread.

/end post by the most pathetic person you are ever likely to know.

ps. this is not an attention seeking thread I just have no one else to talk to.
pps. yes I am way too self conscious about what people think of me.
ppps. I know I am the only person who can get myself out of this hole I am in.
pppps. thankyou for taking the time to read this.

 

[Okiedokes]

Was it a mutual breakup? Maybe you can mutually work things out.

 

[Box'O'Chocolates]

Was it a mutual breakup? Maybe you can mutually work things out.

While yes it was mutual, we both agreed to go our separate ways, simply because this relationship was not doing any of us any good, we were becoming hermits, so to speak and apart from each other we had no one else, while I am really worried about her I know she can take care of herself and that she will be ok.

Do I wish we had split on better terms, yes, but when we are damaging each other to the point of endangering each others health (not getting any exercise at all) due to wanting to be to with each other all the time to avoid being lonely, this split is for the best, she is a beautiful woman and I know she will meet someone that can make her happy and help her to find herself before I came along and screwed her life up.

 

[Wessik]

It sounds like two lonely people found each other and latched on very quickly. Seems simple enough to resolve. Get yourself an outgoing, crazy girl, and make her think you are the stoic, silent type.

 

[Box'O'Chocolates]

It sounds like two lonely people found each other and latched on very quickly. Seems simple enough to resolve. Get yourself an outgoing, crazy girl, and make her think you are the stoic, silent type.

Was not what you would call quick exactly, more like this happened over 7 years.

Also If only it were that simple for me, I have this issue where I can talk to any girl/woman just fine, but the second I try to tell them I like them, I clam up and there is a blazing red heat emanating from my face and you could read a book in the dark from the glow alone.

Take for instance there is this perfect young woman who works across the road from my apartment, I have know her for going on 12 years now, yet I have not been able to tell her how I feel towards her, though I suspect she already knows I'm interested, unfortunately for me I may never be able to tell her, well that and if I told her she would likely say she is not interested and it would put us in a weird place I think.

I dunno, maybe I am making excuses to protect myself or maybe protect her, I dunno just wish I had the confidence to go up to her and say 'hey there 'Lizbeth, how would you like to go out for a drink/dance/meal', now I realize that's not the way to do things, but you catch my drift, right?

 

[Fustar]

It sounds like two lonely people found each other and latched on very quickly. Seems simple enough to resolve. Get yourself an outgoing, crazy girl, and make her think you are the stoic, silent type.

Was not what you would call quick exactly, more like this happened over 7 years.

Also If only it were that simple for me, I have this issue where I can talk to any girl/woman just fine, but the second I try to tell them I like them, I clam up and there is a blazing red heat emanating from my face and you could read a book in the dark from the glow alone.

Take for instance there is this perfect young woman who works across the road from my apartment, I have know her for going on 12 years now, yet I have not been able to tell her how I feel towards her, though I suspect she already knows I'm interested, unfortunately for me I may never be able to tell her, well that and if I told her she would likely say she is not interested and it would put us in a weird place I think.

I dunno, maybe I am making excuses to protect myself or maybe protect her, I dunno just wish I had the confidence to go up to her and say 'hey there 'Lizbeth, how would you like to go out for a drink/dance/meal', now I realize that's not the way to do things, but you catch my drift, right?

That is exactly what you have to do. Its hard I know, I used to be the same way when it comes to women. I could talk to them just fine, but when the time came to tell them I like them and ask for a date, my speech would seem to fade away. Some How Some Way you must walk up to her and ask. If you can do that, it will only get easier in the long run. So what if she rejects you, her loss man. Why be afraid of something that really cannot not hurt you, this is what I have come to realize. Once you get past this, the world opens up. Finding someone is a numbers game a numbers game with luck. Get out there and be heard. You are not pathetic, you are scared which is nothing to be a shamed of. Just find it in yourself to obtain the necessary courage and do it. You only need like 30 secs of it. I have faith in you man, now find faith in yourself, go out there and change your life for the better.