Alarm Bells

[Serenia]

What things have you triggered those Alarm Bells off in your mind when getting to know someone?

Or have there been times when you have looked back and only seen it in hindsight.

For me one of them was a marriage proposal within 24 hours of meeting.

It might not have been an alarm bell, just a trigger to say this person is not for me.

 

[LonesomeDay]

Oh yes, bells would definitely be ringing if I received a marriage proposal within 24-hours of meeting - and they would be of the alarm kind, not wedding bells!

Other things to watch out for would include not returning calls or acknowledging correspondence or emails within a reasonable time (and being defensive about it).

Also, making last minute excuses for not turning up to pre-arranged dates.

And blaming 'forgetfulness', busy lifestyle, work commitments and stress for just about everything to do with not following through with the intent to do something.

The kind of person that says one thing and does another and is generally non-apologetic and insensitive to your hurt and pain.

I could go on but it's tiring me out just thinking about it!

 

[matt4]

All of the above, including a long term sexual friend that someone jumps to after they end relationships with boyfriends.

Making excuses as mentioned above (when you've given plenty of time).

 

[ardour]

Using a mobile right in your face when you’re speaking. Not asking questions but expecting me to ask about them. Acting pissed off for no apparent reason, then friendly again.

 

[Serenia]

I have been on a date and the guy was, talking about everyone he in an almost mean way. More than negative, he also was rude to the server in this cafe. Of course when I declined a second date, I heard from others I had been portrayed in a negative light, oh drat.

 

[Paraiyar]

Using a mobile right in your face when you’re speaking. Not asking questions but expecting me to ask about them. Acting pissed off for no apparent reason, then friendly again.

+1,000,000,000,000 on that last one.

 

[BeyondShy]

What things have you triggered those Alarm Bells off in your mind when getting to know someone?

For me one of them was a marriage proposal within 24 hours of meeting.

That should have been an air raid warning instead of an alarm bell.

You really want to know what I consider an alarm bell? It's when someone makes the first move to try and get to know me. I immediately ask myself what the hell their game is.

 

[BadGuy]

I am a people watcher
People have "tells" if your paying attention you will notice them
If it smells like crap ..its crap LOL

 

[LonesomeDay]

I have been on a date and the guy was, talking about everyone he in an almost mean way. More than negative, he also was rude to the server in this cafe. Of course when I declined a second date, I heard from others I had been portrayed in a negative light, oh drat.

Oh dear, being rude to the server in a cafe - that's a big red flag!

 

[Peaches]

when they are aggressive
too pushy
talking trash about other people
when they belittle you, even as a joke
when they sound like they are making up excuses (they probably are)
not asking enough questions
asking but not answering

Actually I got the marriage proposal after 24 hours thing, I was 19 and crazy (and in love, were for three years afterwards) so the morning after we went to the Embassy to get the papers to get married (!) and thankfully it took two months to have them as his immigration papers were not right, cause before the end of the two months he was already bedding someone else (more than one probably). Been there. It's a great wild rush, but very few of these in real life end up like True Romance.

 

[SofiasMami]

The biggest red flag I've encountered is when a guy I was dating asked if he could dress his young sons ages 3 and 5 in my daughter's princess dresses so they could "explore their gender identity". Weird.

-Teresa

 

[edamame721]

Being crowded in a train car and also having my wrist grabbed and not being let go of even when I tried to pry free. I felt intimidated and a bit scared although I didn't show it. Luckily, the relationship never took off even though I was initially interested. Hindsight.

 

[BadGuy]

The biggest red flag I've encountered is when a guy I was dating asked if he could dress his young sons ages 3 and 5 in my daughter's princess dresses so they could "explore their gender identity". Weird.

-Teresa

was he standing in your closet at the time ?

 

[kamya]

Actually I got the marriage proposal after 24 hours thing, I was 19 and crazy so the morning after we went to the Embassy to get the papers to get married (!) and thankfully it took two months to have them as his immigration papers were not right, cause before the end of the two months he was already bedding someone else (more than one probably). Been there. It's a great wild rush, but very few of these in real life end up like True Romance.

:club: This is why guys will continue to do it. Sometimes it works!

 

[SofiasMami]

The biggest red flag I've encountered is when a guy I was dating asked if he could dress his young sons ages 3 and 5 in my daughter's princess dresses so they could "explore their gender identity". Weird.

-Teresa

was he standing in your closet at the time ?

lol
There are two ways I could answer that question. I'll play straight man and say I think he just saw the dresses in passing somewhere around my home.

-Teresa

 

[Solivagant]

For me one of them was a marriage proposal within 24 hours of meeting.

Actually I got the marriage proposal after 24 hours thing,

I too had a marriage proposal within 24 hours, though I couldn't say with certainty how sincere it was. I wonder how often that happens.

 

[stork_error]

Job interview - "the boss"
Quote:
" I'm a really good guy but I'm just messed up right now, ok I'll tell you, I'm on cocaine, can you tell by my eyes? I know I gotta stop, I'm going to stop soon, maybe you can help me "

 

[Serenia]

What about a lack of concern if you are ill or injured, to level of being in hospital? Would you say that was an alarm bell?

 

[ABrokenMan]

^^^

Alludes to someone who is self-absorbed, if the person has professed via words to care and express concern.
It's all about actions, though.

 

[TheRealCallie]

What about a lack of concern if you are ill or injured, to level of being in hospital? Would you say that was an alarm bell?

I'd say that's a door bell...for when the taxi comes to take them out of the house