all i can do

[Harkat]

is cry
just cry and cry
then pretend i am not crying
nobody can see the pain because i hide
why i hide, i do not know
then i look to all of you
and somehow i feel better
you feel pain
i feel pain
thats what we have in common
and yet
why do i push on?
I'm scared of dying
those final thoughts
not of death
but realising that there is no going back
no going back to existing
perhaps i enjoy being confused
i can't tell
its only just dawned to me
that i honestly don't know
i am dissasembled
and thus
all i can say
is that i have the highest regard for all of you
you just are
beyond amazing
beyond everything i am aware of
so much do i love you
i can not even let you know
and you probably don't believe me.
why does i need to cry?
why do i feel pain?
why do i feel at all?
is there a point other than to experience?
i envy those who have a goal, a reason to be
whether it be religion or other.
society is but a reason to exist.
so what am i
why am i so confused
so ...
i don't know
is it pain or truth?

---

i wish i could cry but i just can't

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Writing poetry is the best way to express yourself. Good job!

 

[Harkat]

Thank you. It just doesn't make the situation at hand any better =\