alone for the first time

[jrm1026]

i just recently have become alone for the first time in my life. i am 26 and after a series of failed relationships, i am left alone. thank god for my two kitties, otherwise i fear what my frame of mind would be.

i just do not know what to do with myself.

i work 2 jobs, i am a full-time graduate student, so my time is occupied. i do have some fun-loving friends so my weekends are moderately social when i am not working or studying.

but when it comes time to "be myself;" not a worker, not a daughter, not a student, or a friend, just ME, i dont know what to do.

i watch a lot of movies. i feel like i could be doing more productive things, art or hobbies, but i feel so empty... so void of purpose as an individual i just cannot muster up the motivation to do anything at all.

i feel so alone. i have never been so simply ALONE and my thoughts scare me sometimes. i have never sat in the silence before and i think i am realizing that i really dont like it. i know this is a necessary process for an adult to go through but i am nervous, sad, and ignorant as to what is to come, both for and from me.

just some words of encouragement would be nice. i cant tell my friends and family how i feel or i would look like an unbalanced mess...

which, by the way, is exactly how i feel.

 

[NeeNeeBird]

Well jrm, this is the first step!

Like you, many of us feel something very similar to what you're going through.

This forum helps, the lovely people in forum chat helps, keeping yourself occupied, helps.

But most of all, note that loneliness is just a feeling...
It can't do anything to you - it can only make you feel.
Accept it, learn to live with it, and it soon won't be as prominent in your mind.

-Neeneebird.


PS. Welcome.

 

[Ladysphinx]

Don't try and be productive. Focus on what you want, ME TIME is just that. It's time set aside to do WHAT EVER you feel like doing. Don't worry what ppl will think of you what you do with your me time. The reason you don't know what to do is because you don't really know your self, this happens if life are about always being around ppl. Go on the net and just type in hobbies, weird hobbies, unusual hobbies, fun hobbies so on. Maybe you'll find something that catches your fancy. Photography is a good idea, don't have to have a fancy camera to have fun with that. Look around and have fun let your inner kiddy curiosity lead you to do what you want with your ME TIME.

 

[LGH1288]

(Respectfully Snipped)

...i just do not know what to do with myself...i feel like i could be doing more productive things...but i feel so empty... so void of purpose as an individual...

Now's the perfect time of year to find ways to give back to your community through charity and acts of kindness. Not only will you touch other people's lives in a meaningful way but you'll fill your own void with joy. Be well, LG

 

[Sci-Fi]

Motivation can be a very hard thing to come by when you're "just not feeling it". You have to force yourself to start, then once you do you're all set.

You're in for quite the self journey, don't be afraid of those scary thoughts they will help strengthen you as you learn to deal with them. Like others said, let it be about you and do what you want to do. Giving back is a good idea too like LGH said.