hey,
i can somewhat relate - the love of my life broke up with me almost three years ago, and its amazing how much i still feel for him, and see people who remind me of him. The last time we spoke, he told me was getting married, so i knew there was definietly no chance of us ever getting back together.
Its so easy to say stuff like, what did i do? if only i had...... If only I was.....! The fact is, we cant control what other people do, no matter how much we love them. Sometimes we just have to accept that its over, and we will never know the reason why (yes, definietly easier said than done!!) I think the saying time heals all wounds is garbage - we have a responsibility to ourselves to be happy!!
I would HIGHLY reccomend Melanie Beattie's books, "especially, the language of letting go," they've really made a huge difference in my life!!
Its time to let him go and learn how to love yourself, regardless of what your physical body may look like!! You deserve that!!!