Always the lonely one in the group.

[Jafo]

For all my life I've always been the one friend in the group who never got a girlfriend. It's happened again and I am honestly done with it. I'm dropping my friends of over 20 years and am just going to be alone. I can't take being the third wheel or being left out all together anymore. I'm done.

 

[Sometimes]

For all my life I've always been the one friend in the group who never got a girlfriend. It's happened again and I am honestly done with it. I'm dropping my friends of over 20 years and am just going to be alone. I can't take being the third wheel or being left out all together anymore. I'm done.

If you are dropping friends of over 20 years, that means you must be at least 35? Maybe it would be a good idea to just drop them for a while, and get some space from it. Don't burn any bridges.

What do you reckon on doing with the new alone time?

 

[Tiina63]

As Sometimes says, maybe drop them for a while but don't burn your bridges completely. Friendships dating back so many years must have a lot of good in them as well as bad, and it would be really sad for you to lose the good.
Maybe you could also look at finding friends who also find it hard to meet someone or who aren't looking for someone and then you wouldn't feel so left out.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Every time you see your friends, they are ALWAYS with their significant others? You don't have a guys night out or anything like that?
Perhaps you could suggest it.

Naturally, if your friends are the women, you can't have a guys night out, but it's the same concept.

 

[Jafo]

I'm 40 years old and I'm just done with it all. I don't want to invest time in friendships anymore if all the people are going to do is forget about me every time they get in a relationship with a woman.

 

[Despicable Me]

Are they really 'forgetting' about you just because of their relationship?
Honestly to me it seems from this topic it is about you trying to 'forget' them because of their relationships.
Which is it really?

It can hurt to see all your friends having relationships, being left out, or feeling like the 'third wheel', but having such a pessimistic attitude and abandoning your friends is going to hurt you much worse than that sort of jealousy.
Maybe try to be supportive of them and their relationships, instead of trying to reject them? Who knows, maybe they'll start hanging out with you more if you put on a positive attitude. Maybe their new wives/girlfriends even have a friend of their own in your situation? No need to give up. Think positively even if it is hard to do.

 

[h3donist]

Jafo I can tell you this right now - if you met the girl of your dreams tomorrow, you would become so involved in her world that 12 months would go by before you realised that you haven't spoken to your friends. Then after the "honeymoon period" is over and you are desperate for a night out with your friends, you would want them to still be there.

Basically - don't burn any bridges and don't cast aside friendships simply because they met a partner, because the older you get you will realise just how important those friendships are. Just be there for your friends whether they are in a relationship or not, and when it finally happens for you, you'll want them to be there for you too.

When I met my wife, I pretty much cut all my friends off - mainly at her behest (she couldn't tolerate me being mates with girls or have male friends who had girlfriends in case I tried it on with one of them. WTF? I know) but thanks to Facebook arriving I was able to keep in touch with them, rebuild the friendships and now I am single again, they are closer to me than ever. If I had lost them then god knows where I'd be today.

You can maintain friendships while searching for love - don't see yourself as the "third wheel" - just see yourself as the free one, the one who can go anywhere and do anything he likes without having a partner who might not approve. Because deep down, sometimes your friends will wish they were in your shoes..

 

[Triple Bogey]

For all my life I've always been the one friend in the group who never got a girlfriend. It's happened again and I am honestly done with it. I'm dropping my friends of over 20 years and am just going to be alone. I can't take being the third wheel or being left out all together anymore. I'm done.

I know what you mean. It's happened to me all my life as well. Do what you think is best.

 

[Stonely]

Don't end a friendship of that long, the fact that you maintained a friendship that long is impressive.

 

[Danielle]

Don't drop your friends. I know it can be aggravating, but we all get to that age where our friends partner up...maybe get married...maybe have kids. We all get busy with our lives and jobs and families too.


If you've been friends with people that long, stay friends. They are important. I agree with posts above...suggest a guys night..... or dinner with one friend here and there. Just don't give up on them.

 

[Jafo]

Oh I have suggested guys night out, only to be met with excuse after excuse mostly due to their winves pissing and moaning about it. I'm done. I didn't ditch them, they ditched me. I put in every effort to hang out and suggest things, but no more. Just goes to show you guys, you can't compete with pussy.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Just goes to show you guys, you can't compete with pussy.

Uh.. what?

 

[TheRealCallie]

Just goes to show you guys, you can't compete with pussy.

Uh.. what?

Pretty sure he means a vagina and having sex. Crudest way to put it and also offensive, but whatever.

I could counter that and tell the GIRLS that you can't compete with alcohol and jackass friends, but that would be a generalization and wrong to place on ALL guys just because of the small percentage of guys I know that do it.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Just goes to show you guys, you can't compete with pussy.

Uh.. what?

Pretty sure he means a vagina and having sex. Crudest way to put it and also offensive, but whatever.

I could counter that and tell the GIRLS that you can't compete with alcohol and jackass friends, but that would be a generalization and wrong to place on ALL guys just because of the small percentage of guys I know that do it.

I thought so, but just to be sure.. and yes, offensive.

Couldn't have said that any better, Callie.

Also? It doesn't just happen for guys. Girls get ditched too for their friends who have boyfriends and male friends they prefer spending time with. I am going through it too, but I don't say that, ladies, we can't compete with dicks. That's just .. wrong.

 

[mickey]

I rarely find other people'd distress amusing, but this thread got hillarious when people started talking about how a penis can't compete with a vagina and a vagina can't compete with a penis.

Sorry, I'll go back to my corner now....

 

[VanillaCreme]

Oh I have suggested guys night out, only to be met with excuse after excuse mostly due to their winves pissing and moaning about it. I'm done. I didn't ditch them, they ditched me. I put in every effort to hang out and suggest things, but no more. Just goes to show you guys, you can't compete with pussy.

Compete with it? But, what if you are it? Meaning, what if you are a woman? I mean, even if I was a lesbian, I seriously doubt I'd want myself or any other woman just showing her bits like we're trying to win a trophy. I guess it's alright if you're into that sort of thing, but I'll pass. I'd have to be way beyond Arbor Mist tipsy to showcase my ladybits to anyone.

 

[quintus 2]

Salut jafo. Are we talking about long term friends or long term buddies here? One doesn't give up on a 20 year FRIENDSHIP. Buddies could be différent.
(I just forget the "pussy" remark. I think it came out of desperation. One of the things that happen and were not really meant as an insult)
If you talk about FRIENDS you will stick to them. Even if you feel temporarily neglected. Of course you will.
If you don't, you will be part of the usual superficiality. Give them time. The fact that you did not find a partner yet is not their fault.

 

[papisalami]

You can try befriending the girlfriends of your buddies and ask if they could introduce you to some of their girl friends. This might get you a girlfriend. [/code]

 

[Jafo]

You can try befriending the girlfriends of your buddies and ask if they could introduce you to some of their girl friends. This might get you a girlfriend. [/code]

Been there, done that. They are all shallow and not good people.

 

[Paraiyar]

If you destroy your own social circle then it will only make getting a girlfriend harder. Have you tried meetup.com groups for building a new social circle?