I don't believe anyone needs to apologize for anything here. I have spent my whole life repressing my words completely. Now I have been healing myself enough to begin posting here, because this is safer than real interaction. We have to remember that loneliness is not a pretty thing, to put it ever so mildly. I think anyone who does not expect to come here and feel even more horrified and more perplexed at times needs to wake up to their unrealistic expectations of what people are going to write here. We try to have as many hugs and supportive feedback to balance the horror of finding so many people suffering so unbelievably badly. But we can never forget what this place is about if we are going to get anything remotely meaningful out of it. For me, I need to preserve the sanctity of this place so that we can all be free to find the healing we all seek. Ideally, everyone would be able to guarantee they won't be offended by anything that is said here, no matter how badly it can go against their beliefs. Rather, everyone would be committed to being accepting and non-judgmental, primarily in concern for their OWN healing, which is only possible when in a receptive state, not turning away from unpleasantness, but facing it, taking the time to understand it, and let go of it. I refuse in advance to apologize for anything I post, and I encourage everyone to do the same. However, that does not mean irresponsible posting. There is a real distinction between posting genuine thoughts that may offend someone by accident and posting something senseless with the twisted intention of offending. We have to give each other the space to take the baby steps toward fulfilling communication. We are all coming from life experiences that made us falsely believe we are constantly threatened or unacceptable. The best response is simply sympathizing, hugging, soothing, supporting. Sometimes reading how others are working through deep confusion is so overwhelmingly unsettling, it can feel like a personal offense. So I can forgive someone for being reactive. But we really have to try with all our might to go deeper, to listen carefully to what our quiet heart is really trying to say, rather then get trapped by within a hijacked fear reaction. I think we all need to try to be ambassadors of this place. If someone is offended by what you write, OR if you are offended, why not try telling them it's ok (even if you don't believe it), and give them a sign of affection or support (even if you don't want to). As a human being, we come to the world equipped to be, and to desperately WANT to be, affectionate and compassionate, before experiences pull that part of us so far out of reach. Even being fully committed to reclaiming your heart and relationships with others, it can take years before being able to fully do so. I also think practicing compassion can have a powerful affect in accelerating the conquering of the obstacles that stood between you and the beautiful life nature intended for you.
Some of us just never seem to grow out of that.
