Triple Bogey
Well-known member
I've wanted to write about this for a long time, never quite got round to it. It's going to long and detailed and I don't always have the time. It is something that I think about from time to time, an event that defines me. Here goes ..
It was 1980, December and the last day at school before christmas. In the afternoon we didn't have any lessons, instead we were to have a disco, all the school, all 260 odd of us.
So we all piled in the assembly hall and the boys sat at one end and the girls the other. I remember quite a few details, a teacher played 'Strawberry Fields Forever' and dedicated it to John Lennon who had just been murdered in New York. A Sex pistol song got played and some of the lads did this strange dance called ' head banging'
I was enjoying it, I had lots of friends. I was 12 and happy enough.
Anyway to encourage the kids to dance the teachers picked one lad and one girl and played a song for them to dance to. After the song ended the lad and lass were told to pick new partners so 4 kids would be on the dance floor. And so on, 8, 16, 32, 64, 132 and finally 264. You get the picture.
So the music started and I sat there waiting to get picked. I expected to. My best friend did early on with this girl from down my street. The music played, the boys and girls danced and they looked happy. Everybody was having a good time.
The dance floor got more and more packed and I remember girls looking at me and looking away and choosing somebody else. The music continued until everybody was on the dance floor except ME. The music stopped they couldn't continue it, they ran out of people. Everybody sat down, happy.
So I never got picked and they may have been a few other lads at the back playing cards not wanting to get involved. But apart from that it was just me. (Not sure about the girls, maybe a few)
I didn't think that much about it, I was disappointed, I wondered why. It is something I have thought back on. It was my first rejection. It set things in motion. I haven't been picked since in some ways. While I can understand it now I can't back then. I was a happy kid, smart, I didn't stink, I had friends. I was good looking. It can't have been my attitude, not back then. I wasn't bitter or cynical. I wasn't wary of rejection.
It took me about 10 years to realize that women didn't like me. I naively thought I was as good as everybody else. I never thought I was better, nothing like that. It's like my destiny, in my DNA or something. I cannot understand it.
Of course it bothered me for years, now I embrace it, almost say to myself 'thank god, easy life'
I just wonder why. What is so wrong ? Even at 12 I wasn't good enough. All the others got picked and I didn't. All the girls picked other boys.
Yes I have been out with 3 different women over the years but all of them were seeing other men at the time and treated me like crap.
Anyway thanks for reading.
It was 1980, December and the last day at school before christmas. In the afternoon we didn't have any lessons, instead we were to have a disco, all the school, all 260 odd of us.
So we all piled in the assembly hall and the boys sat at one end and the girls the other. I remember quite a few details, a teacher played 'Strawberry Fields Forever' and dedicated it to John Lennon who had just been murdered in New York. A Sex pistol song got played and some of the lads did this strange dance called ' head banging'
I was enjoying it, I had lots of friends. I was 12 and happy enough.
Anyway to encourage the kids to dance the teachers picked one lad and one girl and played a song for them to dance to. After the song ended the lad and lass were told to pick new partners so 4 kids would be on the dance floor. And so on, 8, 16, 32, 64, 132 and finally 264. You get the picture.
So the music started and I sat there waiting to get picked. I expected to. My best friend did early on with this girl from down my street. The music played, the boys and girls danced and they looked happy. Everybody was having a good time.
The dance floor got more and more packed and I remember girls looking at me and looking away and choosing somebody else. The music continued until everybody was on the dance floor except ME. The music stopped they couldn't continue it, they ran out of people. Everybody sat down, happy.
So I never got picked and they may have been a few other lads at the back playing cards not wanting to get involved. But apart from that it was just me. (Not sure about the girls, maybe a few)
I didn't think that much about it, I was disappointed, I wondered why. It is something I have thought back on. It was my first rejection. It set things in motion. I haven't been picked since in some ways. While I can understand it now I can't back then. I was a happy kid, smart, I didn't stink, I had friends. I was good looking. It can't have been my attitude, not back then. I wasn't bitter or cynical. I wasn't wary of rejection.
It took me about 10 years to realize that women didn't like me. I naively thought I was as good as everybody else. I never thought I was better, nothing like that. It's like my destiny, in my DNA or something. I cannot understand it.
Of course it bothered me for years, now I embrace it, almost say to myself 'thank god, easy life'
I just wonder why. What is so wrong ? Even at 12 I wasn't good enough. All the others got picked and I didn't. All the girls picked other boys.
Yes I have been out with 3 different women over the years but all of them were seeing other men at the time and treated me like crap.
Anyway thanks for reading.