Another lonely person.

[Bubblebeam]

Big well done on the cleaning. If your flat is really bad especially, try to take the cleaning one day at a time. Perhaps aim for a few small jobs to be done each day. Otherwise, it tends to be easy to feel overwhelmed.

 

[iateallthepies]

Many thanks Bubblebeam for the encouragement. So far I have 8 bags of rubbish that need to be dumped that will be the lounge cleared. I have phoned a local rubbish clearing company and they have agreed to come up on Monday and I shall pass them the rubbish without speaking through a space in the front door. They ar going to buzz my buzzer two long one short and two long, so I know it is them. So, I think I have everything covered and finding the whole experience stressful.

 

[constant stranger]

That's good! Give yourself credit for progress! But you're going to have to venture outside the flat eventually, right? Come on....how difficult can it be to carry something down to the bins and then go back? Maybe you can save that step for another day.......

And do keep posting what you're doing.

 

[iateallthepies]

Hello there. What models do you like the most?

That's good! Give yourself credit for progress! But you're going to have to venture outside the flat eventually, right? Come on....how difficult can it be to carry something down to the bins and then go back? Maybe you can save that step for another day.......

And do keep posting what you're doing.

Very difficult.

 

[Jently]

Would it be easier when it's dark and there are less people around, i'm wondering?

 

[JazzHutane]

I like History a lot too! I haven't built any models myself but I would like to see some of your works if you are willing to post pictures of them

 

[iateallthepies]

Gently. I have a problem just going out. I feel it is overwhelming when I think about it and even if I did go out at a time when fewer people are about, I would still be the same I think. But I have to admit, I have not tried it.

 

[iateallthepies]

Good morning lovely people. I DID IT! i got rid of all the rubbish. I am ashamed to say it was 9 black bags of old take away boxes but the rubbish people came up yesterday and I passed them the rubbish bags one by one out the door. I can now focus on the washing and cleaning the walls and floors. I feel like a new person.

 

[Zevon]

Well done you, you should be very proud of your self.

 

[Jently]

You are just amazing, that's great news. So glad you're feeling good x

 

[iateallthepies]

Would it be easier when it's dark and there are less people around, i'm wondering?

Well done you, you should be very proud of your self.

Many thanks. It has not been easy and yesterday was the worst. I got a knock on my door from my neighbor but I did not answer. I am starting to wash all the kitchen tops with wipes and I cleaned the oven last night with oven cleaner and I put a bowl of boiling water in the oven with a half of lemon in it just to take away the odor. Today is a rest day and a day to do other stuff although i did a washing yesterday. Phew!

 

[Celt]

I just caught up here. Welcome and keep up the good work!

 

[iateallthepies]

Very cold tonight. So had a bowl of soup for my tea and I watch 10 Rillington place on the BBCi player, did a spot of ironing. I've no idea why I am telling you all this, but I guess it is good training for writing a blog. Have any of you guys written a blog before?
Hope you all have a pleasant night.

 

[Jently]

Your internet is fast enough to watch I Player? You lucky lad, mine is so slow it won't play anything and i've got a bunch of stuff to watch on my Added list. Going to sulk now haha.

 

[constant stranger]

Next time the neighbor knocks, try to make yourself answer the door. Even if you don't let the neighbor in, exchanging a few words face to face would be good. He, or she, probably knows you're a pretty private person so it's not like you're expected to invite people in and make dinner for them. Actually, it's likely the neighbors noticed the rubbish collection service taking those bags away and figured you're making some changes in lifestyle and they're interested. That should be a good thing. I hope the neighbors are nice people.........

 

[iateallthepies]

I'm just not ready to meet new people. I have a total distrust and when I did go out 3 years ago I had a panic attack and everybody gathered round because I was holding on to a lamppost screaming and all I could see was a sea of faces.
I prefer my own company I don't miss going out at all and the reason why I joined the forum was to brush up on my conversation skills and perhaps meet a few people online.
I don't want to meet up with people or even talk to people on the phone but the internet is a different place. It can give me the confidence to talk because it hides my identity. If you can understand.

 

[constant stranger]

Actually I don't really understand but I AM hearing what you're saying. Very well then, you're not ready yet to meet new people face-to-face. That being said, I'm glad that we're having this continuing online dialogue.

The panic attack three years ago sounds pretty awful....with respect to your privacy and personal dignity, I'd feel very privileged if you chose to share any parts of your life history that you'd feel willing to speak of.

I hope I'm not taking an unwelcome liberty here but your story has touched me and now I care. But do feel free to tell me to bugger off or something like that, if I'm being too pushy.

 

[iateallthepies]

I could never tell you to bugger off/ I had my reservations about joining the forum, as I hear so many bad stories but my experience on here has been a positive one. I am glad my story has made you care constant stranger. I hope my experience of isolation can help others in my situation.
Today I spent my day washing down paintwork and I managed to Hoover the bedroom carpet, so, I am pleased with my progress. Don't think I could have gotten this far without your encouragement.

 

[constant stranger]

I spent my day chain sawing and chop sawing firewood....today is the last warmish day before the frigid, mid-west North American winter finally brings its freezing unwelcome way here. Unlike you, I'm not pleased with my progress. I'm weary of being the sole caregiver for my 92 year old mother....the complaining, ungrateful woman.

But I'll just soldier on, it's the bargain I made. Wish I could take the deal back but it's a bit late now.

 

[iateallthepies]

That is a tough one constant stranger. My mother was the nicest kindest person and she was always there for me. It must b so difficult for you and to be unappreciated makes the task more unpleasant. If I could I would sell up and come and join you and help. Been a long time since I was last in the good old U.S.of A. 1983 to be exact. I love the solitude and yearn to be out in a log cabin somewhere in the middle of nowhere instead of being stuck in this horrible 1 bed flat. Fancy a swap?