Anyone else out there so single they just want to scream???

[Moetan21]

Marriage is probably the most overrated concept in history.

Naw. Its not lol.

 

[Joturbo]

It seems that love is overrated. Been married for only barely one year and I can tell you, most of the time, I think I was happier alone than married.

Ain't that the truth!

It's better to be single and lonely than married and lonely (not to mention the loss of freedom with the latter lol).

Oh to be young again eh!

 

[TheSkaFish]

Yeah. Continuous screaming. I guess I am at that point in life where I want to share things with someone, not just experience them on my own. And it's not just that, but, I don't know how else to put it, I want to be committed to someone. And have someone feel the same way to me too of course. Someone who wants to honestly make an effort to try and make a relationship work, and explore the world, and life together, hand in hand and heart in heart. I just can't find any woman who likes me though, I guess.

Me too.  I feel like I've screamed myself hoarse.  I've been wanting to share things with someone too and feel like I'm getting somewhere.  But I never seem to be good enough.  The problem is, I'm not very motivated to improve myself or try to have adventures as long as I'm alone.  It just feels expensive, tiresome, and pointless because I fear that it probably won't make me any more attractive than I was before.  It's a loop - I'm single because I guess I'm not interesting enough, but as long as I'm single, I don't feel much motivation to become interesting.  And I also don't feel much motivation to become interesting to the ones that are left, because I don't find them interesting myself.  But I never feel motivated to even attempt to become interesting enough for someone I'd actually want to date because I'm afraid that no attempt I make to become attractive enough will work.

I feel like the problem is that I'm not interesting or exciting enough for someone to want to connect with me, and because I haven't had much success in life, I don't have the attitude of someone who has been successful, someone who things have worked out for.  And because I don't have this attitude of someone that things work out for, I am unable to create chemistry.  

I see the same patterns over and over now.  The same kinds of guys are almost always able to connect and have chemistry and can therefore get someone attractive.  And the same kinds of guys are almost never able to connect and have chemistry and have to either hope someone randomly likes them, or wind up getting stuck by themselves.  I don't know if I can be the kind of person that someone would want to connect or have chemistry with, though, because I don't know if I can be interesting or successful or if I'm just stuck as a normal, mild-mannered person - in other words, stuck as a nice guy, because I'm afraid I don't have the genetics to be good enough at something to have that be my defining trait instead.  If I can't get good at something, I can't be successful, and if I can't be good at something or successful, I can't be interesting, and am therefore just nice - which isn't good enough.  

But a lot of these guys who are usually able to get someone attractive aren't that good at anything either, and aren't even trying to be.  They're not famous or changing the world and they  don't say or do anything that fascinating, original, or profound.  They just have "game", this attitude of "look at me, ha ha I'm so cool, I'm richer/tougher/edgier/better than you" and it works.   They have this obnoxious, outrageous image and personality.  I don't do this because I think it's stupid, cheesy, and immature.  I don't like that personality and I've also never been the kind of person that things just work out for, so I've never had any reason to have "game" or this flashy attitude.  Where these guys have a history of things working with them, I have a history of things resisting me.  I can't have this attitude of "I'm so cool, I'm the best" because I don't have a history of things working out for me, so I don't have this confidence that things will work out for me later.  I know that I don't always have the right answers and I haven't been some kind of chosen one that powers through everything or gets by on dumb luck.  Also, when I talk to someone I just talk to them.  I don't try to "game" them and assert dominance over them or try to show off.  I don't know how to smooth-talk at all.  I don't do witty banter either because I've never been interested in it, I feel like it's also part of the whole "cool guy" persona and not being myself.

It's frustrating because I feel like I've met pretty much every type of girl there is by now, every subculture and archetype, every background, every level of looks and intelligence and every personality type.  I can't believe that I just can't connect with any of them.  But I don't know if I can, because I've never had success in life and don't know if I can, and "game", smooth-talk, and banter wouldn't work for me either because that's not "me".  I wish I knew what to do because I'm so tired of never being good enough. I wish I knew that I could punch past "just friends", my "league", foreveralone, break out of these prisons once and for all.  But I have a hard time feeling like anything I do will work. I don't know if I could ever be high-status and I don't think I can be hyper-masculine, or "cool", but I don't know if anything I can do could make up for it.

 

[user 139760]

Marriage is probably the most overrated concept in history.

Naw. Its not lol.

Mariage is a business transaction that came up in the middle ages when passing armies would truss up a town, screw with the daughters (or wives) and leave babies the local farmers or fisherman couldnt afford to keep or raise. So they came up with the legal notion of mariage so mothers wouldnt become destitute and the parents didnt have to pay. Circa 2018, same basic concept, xcept omen are now allowed to work and have the power to sue or divorce, taking half the money anyway. Thus making it kind of useless in the modern world.

...oh wait, its a love thing under the watchful eyes of the invisible sky wizard for obscure reasons, my bad...

 

[pad79]

Yeah. Continuous screaming. I guess I am at that point in life where I want to share things with someone, not just experience them on my own. And it's not just that, but, I don't know how else to put it, I want to be committed to someone. And have someone feel the same way to me too of course. Someone who wants to honestly make an effort to try and make a relationship work, and explore the world, and life together, hand in hand and heart in heart. I just can't find any woman who likes me though, I guess.

Me too.  I feel like I've screamed myself hoarse.  I've been wanting to share things with someone too and feel like I'm getting somewhere.  But I never seem to be good enough.  The problem is, I'm not very motivated to improve myself or try to have adventures as long as I'm alone.  It just feels expensive, tiresome, and pointless because I fear that it probably won't make me any more attractive than I was before.  It's a loop - I'm single because I guess I'm not interesting enough, but as long as I'm single, I don't feel much motivation to become interesting.  And I also don't feel much motivation to become interesting to the ones that are left, because I don't find them interesting myself.  But I never feel motivated to even attempt to become interesting enough for someone I'd actually want to date because I'm afraid that no attempt I make to become attractive enough will work.

I feel like the problem is that I'm not interesting or exciting enough for someone to want to connect with me, and because I haven't had much success in life, I don't have the attitude of someone who has been successful, someone who things have worked out for.  And because I don't have this attitude of someone that things work out for, I am unable to create chemistry.  

I see the same patterns over and over now.  The same kinds of guys are almost always able to connect and have chemistry and can therefore get someone attractive.  And the same kinds of guys are almost never able to connect and have chemistry and have to either hope someone randomly likes them, or wind up getting stuck by themselves.  I don't know if I can be the kind of person that someone would want to connect or have chemistry with, though, because I don't know if I can be interesting or successful or if I'm just stuck as a normal, mild-mannered person - in other words, stuck as a nice guy, because I'm afraid I don't have the genetics to be good enough at something to have that be my defining trait instead.  If I can't get good at something, I can't be successful, and if I can't be good at something or successful, I can't be interesting, and am therefore just nice - which isn't good enough.  

But a lot of these guys who are usually able to get someone attractive aren't that good at anything either, and aren't even trying to be.  They're not famous or changing the world and they  don't say or do anything that fascinating, original, or profound.  They just have "game", this attitude of "look at me, ha ha I'm so cool, I'm richer/tougher/edgier/better than you" and it works.   They have this obnoxious, outrageous image and personality.  I don't do this because I think it's stupid, cheesy, and immature.  I don't like that personality and I've also never been the kind of person that things just work out for, so I've never had any reason to have "game" or this flashy attitude.  Where these guys have a history of things working with them, I have a history of things resisting me.  I can't have this attitude of "I'm so cool, I'm the best" because I don't have a history of things working out for me, so I don't have this confidence that things will work out for me later.  I know that I don't always have the right answers and I haven't been some kind of chosen one that powers through everything or gets by on dumb luck.  Also, when I talk to someone I just talk to them.  I don't try to "game" them and assert dominance over them or try to show off.  I don't know how to smooth-talk at all.  I don't do witty banter either because I've never been interested in it, I feel like it's also part of the whole "cool guy" persona and not being myself.

It's frustrating because I feel like I've met pretty much every type of girl there is by now, every subculture and archetype, every background, every level of looks and intelligence and every personality type.  I can't believe that I just can't connect with any of them.  But I don't know if I can, because I've never had success in life and don't know if I can, and "game", smooth-talk, and banter wouldn't work for me either because that's not "me".  I wish I knew what to do because I'm so tired of never being good enough.  I wish I knew that I could punch past "just friends", my "league", foreveralone, break out of these prisons once and for all.  But I have a hard time feeling like anything I do will work.  I don't know if I could ever be high-status and I don't think I can be hyper-masculine, or "cool", but I don't know if anything I can do could make up for it.

This is one of the deepest posts ive ever read. I empathise with you to many degrees. I know what you mean about those people who seem to get everything.

I have a friend whos the same and not to be shallow (Which is really impossible what im about to say) Hes overweight. Went bald in his 20s. Very short. Drinks larger like its the Apocalypse, never seen a gym in his life and really isnt that bright at all and doesnt really know much about anything.

Hes a proper one of the lads lads. as in "Waheyy, get the beers in mate" "Woman bends over.. "Woahh steady on there love" All the dickheads crack up laughing.

And ever since ive known him in his teens, women have always thrown themselves at him, his wife is a 9/10 on the looks side and so are many of the others hes been with over the years. Hes endlessly arrogant, cocky as hell and doesnt care much at all about his dress sense or appearance.

And this is what really pisses me off about society more than anything. And what do we get? Nothing!. Im not saying women should throw themselves at me. Im not saying I deserve to get laid every other week and dont expect everything to fall at my lap. I just expected in 37 years of my life to want at least one woman since the day i was born who im attracted to, to actually like me back just once in my life.

And then most people do actually tell me im good looking and dress smart. Well going on the above. This is scientific proof in itself this can only be a lie!

 

[Xpendable]

They: "That guy is sweet and smart, I bet he will found someone."
Society: "So, would you date him?"
They: "Nah".

 

[kamya]

They: "That guy is sweet and smart, I bet he will found someone."
Society: "So, would you date him?"
They: "Nah".

Guy: "I guess girls don't really like sweet smart guys."

They: "They do I swear! You're just a fake typical nice guy. You aren't entitled to a relationship!"

Society: "Shame! Shame! Shame!"

Guy: *blows up royal wedding*

 

[TheRealCallie]

Why the hell do you people care what society thinks?   Why would you even want someone who lets other people dictate how they live their life, who they are, who they are with?

Maybe if you stop worrying about that honeysuckle, you'd get more out of life.

 

[Red_Wedding_Casualty]

They: "That guy is sweet and smart, I bet he will found someone."
Society: "So, would you date him?"
They: "Nah".

Guy: "I guess girls don't really like sweet smart guys."

They: "They do I swear! You're just a fake typical nice guy. You aren't entitled to a relationship!"

Society: "Shame! Shame! Shame!"

Guy: *blows up royal wedding*

Society: This is what toxic masculinity looks like!

...

OK, real talk. While I do think it's entirely possible to care too much about what society thinks of us as an individuals, I think it's in our best interests to care on a fundamental level. Case in point: If I'm going to be declined things and opportunities that would be afforded to those who fit the norm, I'd at least like to know why, so I can change what I can, and accept what I cannot.