Anyone else out there so single they just want to scream???

[kamya]

Eh I know a lot of happily married couples that started dating when we were in high school. Been in the wedding of one of them for one of my best friends.

I find it a little strange but it worked out for them.

 

[starrynight30]

Right now it is the opposite. I want to scream to become single again. I'm in a relationship (he lives with me) that is slowly sucking the life force out of me. Next month makes three years of sheer boredom.....so I scream "I want to be single again!!!!!!"

 

[anidealofhope]

Just been going through this thread for a good hour and wow, it's gotten to me. I think people sometimes think that we're single because we choose to be, and while some definitely feel that being single is the better alternative (which I think you should take pride in because you're happy with yourself), it's just not the reality for everyone. And yeah, I do scream. I cry. I hug a pillow. I eat cookie dough ice cream. And yeah, it helps...sometimes. But sometimes it just brings to the forefront that you've never ever had that relationship. That love. I think that's what people want more, well at least for me, I would prefer a companion and someone who cares than just a sexual partner. Seeing all your friends happily in relationships, always being the third wheel freaking sucks. So yeah, even though I'm sixteen and I've got my whole life ahead of me, I can definitely say right now...I'm going:

Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!

I'm going to sound really condescending here. At your age relationships rarely last and result in a lot of baggage. You aren't missing out on anything, unless you consider something that won't last worth emotionally investing in.

Not condescending at all, believe me. I totally get what you mean, sometimes it's just hard to accept that for me right now, I don't know. Sorry again. Totally wish my feelings would just shut off sometimes though! Thanks for your response! God bless

 

[Zook]

Right now it is the opposite. I want to scream to become single again. I'm in a relationship (he lives with me) that is slowly sucking the life force out of me. Next month makes three years of sheer boredom.....so I scream "I want to be single again!!!!!!"

You have to end it. You're destroying your life. I'm sure it will be hell for a few weeks after you end it, but you only live once. I can feel your pain through your post.

 

[michael2]

Its eating me up right now.

The issue is the apparent lack of control I have to improve the situation.  If you want food or water, you can just go to the store and buy it.

Wanting love and a relationship with the opposite sex is a sanity eroding waiting game that you have so little control over.  I've been waiting 32 years.  And Im afraid another 32 years wont change anything.  When you go that long without finding anybody you start to question everything about yourself.  Just how screwed up must I be for this to happen to me?  

Just once I'd like to have the feeling that someone is looking forward to seeing me again.  The experience of being in love with someone, and having the privilege of them sharing that love with you.  I might never know it, because theres no light at the end of the tunnel for me.  Theres no perceivable change in my life that says Im closer to being in a relationship now then I was 5 or 10 years ago. Its just one, big, long waiting game and Im just a passenger.

Theres no goal for me to work towards.  All my 'self improvement' doesnt provide tangible evidence that Im any closer to a relationship.

So it might be 10 months away or 10 years away.  That hurts.

 

[morrowrd]

Its eating me up right now.

The issue is the apparent lack of control I have to improve the situation.  If you want food or water, you can just go to the store and buy it.

Wanting love and a relationship with the opposite sex is a sanity eroding waiting game that you have so little control over.  I've been waiting 32 years.  And Im afraid another 32 years wont change anything.  When you go that long without finding anybody you start to question everything about yourself.  Just how screwed up must I be for this to happen to me?  

Just once I'd like to have the feeling that someone is looking forward to seeing me again.  The experience of being in love with someone, and having the privilege of them sharing that love with you.  I might never know it, because theres no light at the end of the tunnel for me.  Theres no perceivable change in my life that says Im closer to being in a relationship now then I was 5 or 10 years ago. Its just one, big, long waiting game and Im just a passenger.

Theres no goal for me to work towards.  All my 'self improvement' doesnt provide tangible evidence that Im any closer to a relationship.

So it might be 10 months away or 10 years away.  That hurts.

What self improvement have you accomplished?

 

[user 139760]

Tried screaming once, but in the end, it didn't make me less single.

 

[onmyown1979]

I can relate, seems like that's the only missing piece of my life. Don't know if it'll ever happen for me or not, I mean I'm not ancient by any means (38) but still I haven't been in any meaningful relationships in my whole life.

 

[NewStuff]

I'm curious. Has anyone here written down what they wanted in a life partner?

 

[TheRealCallie]

I'm curious. Has anyone here written down what they wanted in a life partner?

I think we have a thread for that somewhere

 

[M_also_lonely]

Not me.
Just heard the news that a guy recently got jailed again for not being able to pay maintenance to his wife and child with whom he was never allowed to live with. His health is not good, can't make that much money. Has been jailed again. I wonder how someone's reproductive system is simultaneously 0% my right and 100% my responsibility.
This is 2017, humanity is dead, I think the smartest choice a man can make is to not waste time on women, not that they are bad, but there is NOTHING worth profit in it and more importantly, the laws are absolutely messed up.

Love, company, support and comfort: Pets, family, friends... Give it better.
Sex: Get rich and there are a lot of gold diggers ready to "see what a great, loving, honest, smart, caring  guy you are" or use modern technology. 
Help, chores: Get a maid.
Kids: Adopt and raise an orphan who otherwise had no hopes.
I don't see ANY point in being in relationships and getting married.

 

[ardour]

Its eating me up right now.

The issue is the apparent lack of control I have to improve the situation.  If you want food or water, you can just go to the store and buy it.

Wanting love and a relationship with the opposite sex is a sanity eroding waiting game that you have so little control over.  I've been waiting 32 years.  And Im afraid another 32 years wont change anything.  When you go that long without finding anybody you start to question everything about yourself.  Just how screwed up must I be for this to happen to me?  

Just once I'd like to have the feeling that someone is looking forward to seeing me again.  The experience of being in love with someone, and having the privilege of them sharing that love with you.  I might never know it, because theres no light at the end of the tunnel for me.  Theres no perceivable change in my life that says Im closer to being in a relationship now then I was 5 or 10 years ago. Its just one, big, long waiting game and Im just a passenger.

Theres no goal for me to work towards.  All my 'self improvement' doesnt provide tangible evidence that Im any closer to a relationship.

So it might be 10 months away or 10 years away.  That hurts.

The problem with incremental self-improvements is that none of it seems to matter. Very few women show genuine interest in knowing you, so they're  never going to notice any of that.

 

[NewStuff]

Its eating me up right now.

The issue is the apparent lack of control I have to improve the situation.  If you want food or water, you can just go to the store and buy it.

Wanting love and a relationship with the opposite sex is a sanity eroding waiting game that you have so little control over.  I've been waiting 32 years.  And Im afraid another 32 years wont change anything.  When you go that long without finding anybody you start to question everything about yourself.  Just how screwed up must I be for this to happen to me?  

Just once I'd like to have the feeling that someone is looking forward to seeing me again.  The experience of being in love with someone, and having the privilege of them sharing that love with you.  I might never know it, because theres no light at the end of the tunnel for me.  Theres no perceivable change in my life that says Im closer to being in a relationship now then I was 5 or 10 years ago. Its just one, big, long waiting game and Im just a passenger.

Theres no goal for me to work towards.  All my 'self improvement' doesnt provide tangible evidence that Im any closer to a relationship.

So it might be 10 months away or 10 years away.  That hurts.

The problem with incremental self-improvements is that none of it seems to matter. Very few women show genuine interest in knowing you, so they're  never going to notice any of that.

I notice these things. I know I'm not the only. 

An ex wanted to come back into my life. I was somewhat interested. In the past he had been on drugs, smoking, drinking, eating poorly, and participating in illegal activities; none of which I've ever been interested in. He got sick and stopped all of these things. I was happy for him and impressed with his desire to better himself. Then one by one he started all these activities again. He will remain an ex.

 

[ardour]

Its eating me up right now.

The issue is the apparent lack of control I have to improve the situation.  If you want food or water, you can just go to the store and buy it.

Wanting love and a relationship with the opposite sex is a sanity eroding waiting game that you have so little control over.  I've been waiting 32 years.  And Im afraid another 32 years wont change anything.  When you go that long without finding anybody you start to question everything about yourself.  Just how screwed up must I be for this to happen to me?  

Just once I'd like to have the feeling that someone is looking forward to seeing me again.  The experience of being in love with someone, and having the privilege of them sharing that love with you.  I might never know it, because theres no light at the end of the tunnel for me.  Theres no perceivable change in my life that says Im closer to being in a relationship now then I was 5 or 10 years ago. Its just one, big, long waiting game and Im just a passenger.

Theres no goal for me to work towards.  All my 'self improvement' doesnt provide tangible evidence that Im any closer to a relationship.

So it might be 10 months away or 10 years away.  That hurts.

The problem with incremental self-improvements is that none of it seems to matter. Very few women show genuine interest in knowing you, so they're  never going to notice any of that.

I notice these things. I know I'm not the only. 

An ex wanted to come back into my life. I was somewhat interested. In the past he had been on drugs, smoking, drinking, eating poorly, and participating in illegal activities; none of which I've ever been interested in. He got sick and stopped all of these things. I was happy for him and impressed with his desire to better himself. Then one by one he started all these activities again. He will remain an ex.

That’s an ex. There was a  prior intimate connection there.. When it comes to meeting strangers or talking to new acquaintances, in most cases, conversation doesn’t get far enough where things like qualifications gained, position at work, or follow through on interests/hobbies (as examples)  could matter. If someone’s not already  emotionally engaged and interested it's irrelevant.

 

[NewStuff]

Its eating me up right now.

The issue is the apparent lack of control I have to improve the situation.  If you want food or water, you can just go to the store and buy it.

Wanting love and a relationship with the opposite sex is a sanity eroding waiting game that you have so little control over.  I've been waiting 32 years.  And Im afraid another 32 years wont change anything.  When you go that long without finding anybody you start to question everything about yourself.  Just how screwed up must I be for this to happen to me?  

Just once I'd like to have the feeling that someone is looking forward to seeing me again.  The experience of being in love with someone, and having the privilege of them sharing that love with you.  I might never know it, because theres no light at the end of the tunnel for me.  Theres no perceivable change in my life that says Im closer to being in a relationship now then I was 5 or 10 years ago. Its just one, big, long waiting game and Im just a passenger.

Theres no goal for me to work towards.  All my 'self improvement' doesnt provide tangible evidence that Im any closer to a relationship.

So it might be 10 months away or 10 years away.  That hurts.

The problem with incremental self-improvements is that none of it seems to matter. Very few women show genuine interest in knowing you, so they're  never going to notice any of that.

I notice these things. I know I'm not the only. 

An ex wanted to come back into my life. I was somewhat interested. In the past he had been on drugs, smoking, drinking, eating poorly, and participating in illegal activities; none of which I've ever been interested in. He got sick and stopped all of these things. I was happy for him and impressed with his desire to better himself. Then one by one he started all these activities again. He will remain an ex.

That’s an ex. There was a  prior intimate connection there.. When it comes to meeting strangers or talking to new acquaintances, in most cases, conversation doesn’t get far enough where things like qualifications gained, position at work, or follow through on interests/hobbies (as examples)  could matter. If someone’s not already  emotionally engaged and interested it's irrelevant.

Have you tried a dating site? I have been on a few and met a few people that I could hold a conversation with. Admittedly, I met no one that could be a permanent part of my life but that doesn't mean it isn't possible or anyone else. I really only gave the most active one 3 months.

 

[ardour]

Its eating me up right now.

The issue is the apparent lack of control I have to improve the situation.  If you want food or water, you can just go to the store and buy it.

Wanting love and a relationship with the opposite sex is a sanity eroding waiting game that you have so little control over.  I've been waiting 32 years.  And Im afraid another 32 years wont change anything.  When you go that long without finding anybody you start to question everything about yourself.  Just how screwed up must I be for this to happen to me?  

Just once I'd like to have the feeling that someone is looking forward to seeing me again.  The experience of being in love with someone, and having the privilege of them sharing that love with you.  I might never know it, because theres no light at the end of the tunnel for me.  Theres no perceivable change in my life that says Im closer to being in a relationship now then I was 5 or 10 years ago. Its just one, big, long waiting game and Im just a passenger.

Theres no goal for me to work towards.  All my 'self improvement' doesnt provide tangible evidence that Im any closer to a relationship.

So it might be 10 months away or 10 years away.  That hurts.

The problem with incremental self-improvements is that none of it seems to matter. Very few women show genuine interest in knowing you, so they're  never going to notice any of that.

I notice these things. I know I'm not the only. 

An ex wanted to come back into my life. I was somewhat interested. In the past he had been on drugs, smoking, drinking, eating poorly, and participating in illegal activities; none of which I've ever been interested in. He got sick and stopped all of these things. I was happy for him and impressed with his desire to better himself. Then one by one he started all these activities again. He will remain an ex.

That’s an ex. There was a  prior intimate connection there.. When it comes to meeting strangers or talking to new acquaintances, in most cases, conversation doesn’t get far enough where things like qualifications gained, position at work, or follow through on interests/hobbies (as examples)  could matter. If someone’s not already  emotionally engaged and interested it's irrelevant.

Have you tried a dating site? I have been on a few and met a few people that I could hold a conversation with. Admittedly, I met no one that could be a permanent part of my life but that doesn't mean it isn't possible or anyone else. I really only gave the most active one 3 months.

I haven't... no. They aren't great for men. I'd need to send probably hundreds of tailored messages just to get a few replies.

 

[user 139760]

I personally hate those things. Too artificial, I feel like I'm going to the meat market and being judged based solely on what type of meat I am...
Ironically, a lot of my dates came from me sitting on a bar stool drowning my woes in a glass of whiskey.

 

[NewStuff]

Are guys really expecting women to be the one to approach them? I have approached guys but I seem to be terrible at picking a guy so I stopped.

 

[user 139760]

Are guys really expecting women to be the one to approach them? I have approached guys but I seem to be terrible at picking a guy so I stopped.

I think some do, some don't.
I truly believe that the ultimate point is, if you want something, get it.
If you see a guy you think is cute and you'd like to get to know him...why not approach him?
Worst that'll happen is getting no. Best that can happen is a house, 2 kids and a mortgage ;-)

I don't really expect to be approached. Always surprised when some do.

 

[NewStuff]

Even on dating sites I had no luck when approaching a guy. I was mostly ignored. When I waited, I got new guys approaching me a few days a week. The last guy I approached in real like made me feel so uncomfortable through the first text message conversation that I knew I better just wait for someone to approach me again. Guys are more complicated than I remembered them being.