Are small, fleeting successes better than no success at all?

[hbkdx12]

May sound like a stupid question but i'll preface it with a story...

So when i walk down the street, i generally don't get females attention either because their not interested in me, my "aura" and/or facial/body language might be off putting or im just naive. All things that i have been told. Nonetheless, a few weeks ago I decided to go for a stroll with no particular goal other than to just grab some fresh air and move my feet. I was just walking and feeling good and while walking i was approaching a women who was coming towards me who looked to be about my age. Didn't really think anything of it. She was walking towards me but was looking down at her phone and when she looked up she saw me and she looked completely shocked and stared at me almost as if she knew me. But being that i knew i didn't know this woman from adam, i took it that she was attracted to me. As i got closer to her I said Hi and she looked completely shocked and caught off guard at the thought of me talking to her and she literally went open jawed like "holy honeysuckle he spoke to me!" At this point i passed her and keep walking with the biggest smile on my face. It was awesome. It made me feel great.

Fast forward to today and since then i haven't been able to recreate that kind of moment or anything close to it. So being that that one instance got my self esteem up, even just for that moment, not having that positive reinforcement be continually present, i feel MORE crushed and disappointed then had it not happened at all because i had grown used to the idea of it not happening.

So i ask, are small fleeting success better than no success at all?

 

[EveWasFramed]

ANY success is good in my opinion. Progress, no matter how small, is WIN.

 

[hbkdx12]

true and yet, constant forward momentum/motivation is key

"It does not matter how slow you go so long as you do not stop"
--Confucious

Also, any form or level of success has the tendency to create this feeling of undeniable accountability where if that success can't be replicated, its creates an overwhelming pressure that some people may collapse under because after all I got the attention of that woman in the street so why can't I continue to get the attention of women?

Personal success followed by an immediate lack of success has the potential to cause self deprecation.

Although i like to point out that i believe nothing is impossible to replicate once the success of it has been achieved, it just may not be very easy.

 

[EveWasFramed]

I can see your point, of course. But it's still my personal opinion that even small successes are good ones.

 

[hbkdx12]

Of course, absolutely. There's no right or wrong answer. It's all a matter of perspective which is all life is; how you see it

 

[Peter Lorre]

Well, there is such a thing as a 'Pyrrhic Victory', so certain victories/successes turn out to be not so succesfull afterall.

So yes, constant forward movement/motivation seems to be they key to real success. However, a small and fleeting success is always better for moral/motivational purposes than no success at all; so it does have its merits.

 

[IgnoredOne]

In chess, small victories in position are what ultimately contribute to game-ending plays. So learn specific lessons from your small successes, analyze them for what worked, and then attempt to replicate.

 

[beans]

I have some small success like yours with guys that I find cute but I don't consider this a 'success'. After a while, you get over it. Are you about 18-20?

I just think you seem to get excited over external validation --> cute girl smiles at you, you feel great. If not, you feel you're nobody.

But the thing is, when you get older, these things don't matter because you'll know that success derives from bigger things.

Also, if you really think about what hot girls find a turn off - guys who get all excited about things like that.

 

[IgnoredOne]

I'm 27 and I still am happy when cute girls like me. Maybe I'm not grown up yet.

 

[beans]

I'm 27 and I still am happy when cute girls like me.

Big difference between them liking you or just flashing a smile back at you. I smile at old men selling peanuts across the street sometimes. Doesn't mean I like them that way.

Maybe I'm not grown up yet.

I don't mean that type of growing up. And don't worry, most men don't grow up.

 

[IgnoredOne]

I don't mean that type of growing up. And don't worry, most men don't grow up.

Yay

 

[putter65]

I'm 27 and I still am happy when cute girls like me.

Big difference between them liking you or just flashing a smile back at you. I smile at old men selling peanuts across the street sometimes. Doesn't mean I like them that way.

When I was younger, say 18, a woman smiling at me was a big deal. It made me happy. Like you say it means nothing really.

Maybe I'm not grown up yet.

I don't mean that type of growing up. And don't worry, most men don't grow up.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Im making Progress....
I just moved into a new city.
Carman gave me her number lastnight after we chit chat.
Give me a few more weeks I'm pretty sure I'll get boob shots of her
I'm 45...I can still beautiful women in thier late 20's or early 30s.

Jenn was only 34. i totally messed that up. It would take me longer to and harder to win Jennifer's heart back and forgivness.

Even the relationship i have with Renae is like a TX two step...1 step forward and two steps back but still moving in a forward direction.
Renae and I are alot closer now or more understanding of each other than had ever been.

I have more pressing issuses...making progress a little bit at a time in those areas too. Lots of patients and persistent.

 

[lonelyfairy]

ANY success is good in my opinion. Progress, no matter how small, is WIN.

This said it all. Any success is good!