It seems that the games section is prolifically commented on, but other chats much less engaged in. Why is that?
Are You Just Playing Games Here To Avoid More Serious Chat
- Thread starter okidoke
- Start date
Help Support Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum:
user 148069
drifter
- Joined
- Sep 20, 2018
- Messages
- 442
- Reaction score
- 608
the more serious parts of the forum like the depression section and the rest of them requires more time and thought put into the replies. I think most people want to be understood but they also don't want to hear just platitudes repeated to them over and over again.
As someone who is anxious socially the last thing I want to do is upset someone because I am deeply uncomfortable with confrontation. So if I decide to reply to a serious topic, I would re-read the original post a few times to try and understand what they're going through. Sometimes others may have already replied and I don't have anything new to add.
As someone who is anxious socially the last thing I want to do is upset someone because I am deeply uncomfortable with confrontation. So if I decide to reply to a serious topic, I would re-read the original post a few times to try and understand what they're going through. Sometimes others may have already replied and I don't have anything new to add.
@orangecat Shouldn't people put in more time and thought? I would think we're all here because this is a serious forum for most of us. Getting a good understanding of an OP is a good idea for sure. Sometimes we just don't have anything to add, that's true.
Bam111
Abandon your fear. Look forward.
you both make excellent points most of the stuff in other threads may I point out get read and the content gets mostly read but not commented on because most of this sites games involves little interaction with others it feels like more of ice breakers. (To me) as to the full blown discussion of what is more (important topics) requires more thought and attention to the main topic if not just the typical remarks as to just adding with (I agree with you) (I disagree with you and no comment as to why) or the favorite toxic remarks or snarky remarks others give to those truly wishing to engage in a real conversation the overall theme though takes time and effort from both the reader and the topic creator which most are not willing to give or think that there comments merit no value which the truth is far from that. Most of us come here for a reason to the overall topics we post but then others will either choose to engage (or not) positively or negatively. I write now mainly in my own space to avoid the more toxic environments of conversation and I welcome all to engage with me but the choice again is solely on the readers and not myself I welcome all to chat with me but the choice remains with them feel free at any time to reach out to me and I will engage with you have a great day and I appreciate your thread and your great point you make in it.
user 148069
drifter
- Joined
- Sep 20, 2018
- Messages
- 442
- Reaction score
- 608
I can say without a doubt I am here for the more serious conversation. I also don't enjoy too much small talk and too much banter. Still trying to find a right balance to be honest.
But yeah, personally, I have noticed some threads don't get much replies or any sometimes especially if the poster isn't a regular. And this is purely based on my own observation (probably an unpopular one) certain posters get a lot more attention on their threads. Perhaps it's my own issue with feeling left out but it can seem a bit like a high school clique at times.
Bam111
Abandon your fear. Look forward.
it is a struggle and I do apologize if my content gets a bit lengthy lol I get passionate sometimes in what I write I will try to shorten my writings down its good sound advice for me
CenotaphGirl
Under the dirt, that’s my home ⚰️
Honestly, this site has always had an issue with hmm making some people feeling unwelcome I cant tell you how many private messages i’ve had from people who tell me they are too afraid to post in the main bit but agree or disagree with a point i made, I tried my best to campaign for a little more kinder approaches but it hasn't worked 
so i am 100% sure its safer in the game zone
so i am 100% sure its safer in the game zone
I haven't been on long enough to notice, but I certainly don't veer to any particular person. I just look at the content is toss up whether I've got anything of value to add.
it is a struggle and I do apologize if my content gets a bit lengthy lol I get passionate sometimes in what I write I will try to shorten my writings down its good sound advice for me
lol I wasn't pointing th finger at you
but in any case I need to make more of an effort.
oh dear. i wasn't aware of that. i've had to DM a couple people because it said I didn't have privileges to reply to the post.Honestly, this site has always had an issue with hmm making some people feeling unwelcome I cant tell you how many private messages i’ve had from people who tell me they are too afraid to post in the main bit but agree or disagree with a point i made, I tried my best to campaign for a little more kinder approaches but it hasn't worked
TheRealCallie
Princess Pink Love
See now, I have to disagree with this. I think SOME people feel that way, but I feel that most people want to hear what THEY want to hear. They want yes men to tell them they are right and whatever they think their problem is is exactly what their problem is. They don't want to hear "hey it might not be that, maybe it's this." Which is why people think I'm such an evil soulless creature whose only intent is to chase people away and mock people or make them feel like crap. Which is likely why certain members harass and attack me on a regular basis and "warn" others about me before they even have a chance to see who I am.
People see what they want to see, whether it's true or not. And that's fine because it helps me weed out the people I don't want in my life. But people need to hear all perspectives, not just the ones they want to hear, so I will continue on regardless of how many people hate me or try to get rid of me or report me. It's people like that that have make this a place I can no longer talk about MY stuff. I keep everything I say about myself vague so it can't be used against me by those people. I'm sure I'll get someone coming in here and say I'm playing the victim or I deserve it or it's my fault or whatever crap they want to spew, but no....I'm NOT a victim. It is what it is and people are who they are. I can handle it.....but can others? If they do it to me, they'll do it to other people too.
Anyway, the games section has ALWAYS been one of the most popular sections....at least for the 13 years I've been here. It's fun, it's an escape, it's lighthearted. Sometimes people need that.
@TheRealCallie Obviously I don't know you well enough, but saying your opinion is value, but maybe (if people are saying such thing about what you say) you need to try putting your message across in a different way, with a little tact maybe, I dunno. My eldest means well, but she's got no tact-meter on her and usually puts people off-side from the outset even though she's trying to be helpful. Granted she must have got that from me somewhat lol, but I have learned to think a moment before opening my mouth, usually.
I have no issue with the Games threads, just curious is there was more to it. (It's pretty late here and I need my beauty sleep, well, I'd need a coma, but anyway, goodnight peeps)
I have no issue with the Games threads, just curious is there was more to it. (It's pretty late here and I need my beauty sleep, well, I'd need a coma, but anyway, goodnight peeps)
TheRealCallie
Princess Pink Love
Everyone could probably be more tactful at some point, but the way I see it....why mince words. Whether you are sugar coating something or you're being blunt, it amounts to the same thing. But no, for the most part, I'm not NOT tactful....people just tend to read things that aren't here because they didn't hear what they wanted to hear. I question, I look deeper, I ask questions other people won't ask. I'm not going to blindly believe everything someone says because there is more than one side to everything. Just because one person sees something one way, doesn't mean that's actually what happened. Another person will see it a different way, have a different accounting of what happened or whatever. The truth is often somewhere in the middle or completely different than both account. That's the story I want to hear, that's the story I want others to see because no one has the same perspective of something. You have to open yourself up to be able to see things outside the realm of your own perspective.
CenotaphGirl
Under the dirt, that’s my home ⚰️
you know… i’ll be honest… so many ppl randomly messaged me about you I got paranoid and thought you put them up to it
its just not right. Glad you know this was happening.I dont think i’ve always seen eye to eye with everyone but I am happy theres different types, before I read randomguys and Finished posts I think … prepare myself to laugh, Callie or Claudia brace yourself for some home truths or a frying pan? Lool Ska fish and Apexie something so intelligent it’ll fry my brainnn
anddd everyone else what a lottery! 
This is why I rarely post anything serious. I've tried posting a few times about how ' my addiction to boobs has almost ruined my life' and people just laughed
flip no boob meme 
CenotaphGirl
Under the dirt, that’s my home ⚰️
No its serious I once knew a guy who offered to sell his kidney for a flashThis is why I rarely post anything serious. I've tried posting a few times about how ' my addiction to boobs has almost ruined my life' and people just laughed
Awh Princess, you said you'd keep that between me and you, offer still standsNo its serious I once knew a guy who offered to sell his kidney for a flash
Seriously I was joking, it's more of a keen interest and if anything it's brought a lot of joy to my life.
Lots of people messaged me 'warnings' about Callie too, it says way more about them than her. I've always been far ruder to Callie than she's ever been towards me. She's always taken it in the light hearted way it's meant too, top girl in my book.
user 148069
drifter
- Joined
- Sep 20, 2018
- Messages
- 442
- Reaction score
- 608
Yeah I regret coming back here and sharing my opinion now. Nothing to do with Callie disagreeing with my opinion. In fact I agree with the things she has said. It's just something I see happening time and time again in threads but I think I will keep it to myself and it will die with me. Time to leave again I guess. I'm fine on my own. In fact I am used to it!
TheRealCallie
Princess Pink Love
Don't leave. Ignore the haters and focus on the good points. Some people here enjoy your contributions.
Oh and I agree with everything else you said, just not that one sentence I quoted.
Well, you can mince words to sound more sincere about someone's plight. You can still put your point across with tact. It shows some empathy, caring, interest. Some people will still be hurt, offended, angry not matter how you put things, but you doing the trying at least makes you look nicer. I know you'll probably say something like "But I don't care how I look to others" or "I don't care about looking nice" and that's fine, but for isn't it a better place when newcomers arrive and read "nicer" worded questions and opinions? The atmosphere is less palpable that way. Unless that's your objective of course.
Of course. I have no qualms with that and encourage it.
We can be used to things, but that doesn't mean it's enjoyable. Please don't go. Think of all the new people joining in and how many might value your words. Environments evolve, sometimes devolve, but unless it's totally becoming a negative thing in your life, hang around. I want to hear more of what you have to say.
Similar threads
