Awkwardness

[Neozoro]

Well I'm 18 and just about to have my gap year before heading on to university. However during all this time I have not had a girlfriend, not had a close friend who was a girl, or really had any close contact with a girl at all.
I think that this all stems from a fear of rejection. I absolutely hate people laughing at me so for a lot of my life instead of having fun i've sat back and tried to look cool to impress people. This meant that for a long time I had no close friends at all.
The thing that really haunts me is a post gcse trip with friends to Newquay, during that time I got drunk and pulled a couple of girls, one of which was also drunk, completely unlike me. Now I can't even talk to a girl without anyone shouting out a comment like "oi mike, workin your charm" or commenting on how I drug then rape girls, leading to even more embarrassment.
I thought I'd finally moved on from this but yesterday we had our leavers prom. It wasn't a couples thing so few people went together, but of all the girls there not one of them spoke to or even acknowledged me.
This coupled with my appearance and complex about my height means I'll probably never be able to talk to anyone properly, and die alone in later life.
Comments?

 

[VanillaCreme]

So very young. You never know who you'll meet in college. Or at a job later down the road. So, I wouldn't be so worried if I were you.

 

[edgecrusher]

theres a great chance youll meet someone at college. wait til your my age before you let it start bothering you.

 

[Luna]

Hi there Neo,

Sorry to hear the difficult time you're going through.
I'm 20 and my fear of rejection for friendships, dating etc. has held me back.
I've tried hard to please people, but there comes a time where you realize...that not everyone is worth pleasing and worth what you can offer.
I think I've finally reached that point, though admittedly, some days are a struggle.

One thing that stands out to me in your post, is about what happened at your post gcse trip with your friends. I'm sure your mind wasn't at the right place at that time, but last thing you want are your friends - or anyone for that matter - shouting out comments on how you're basically a predator, while you're talking to a woman.
You won't progress if you have these people continually embarrass you, which will further fuel your feelings of low-self esteem and scare off potential friends or partners.

I have a complex about my appearance too - I've struggled with it all my life. But I've made baby steps towards improvement...working out, eating right (trying to, at least) etc. For height, there isn't much you can do about that piece, but there's always exercise and you could also take many other avenues. Don't give up on yourself just yet...I've waited and waited for people, but now I think I've finally realize, that waiting doesn't accomplish anything. One must take action...as impossible or frightful as it may seem.

 

[ShybutHi]

I can relate to you a bit there, i havnt had any friends that are girls until recently and im 23, i have just had one girlfriend in my life which was 7 years ago and it only lasted a short while. My friends know me quite well and know how shy i am, they know i am terrible at talking to people i dont know, especially girls, so its like if i started chatting to a girl it would be so obvious i was hitting on her... i just dont feel right doing it and to be honest i probably couldnt if i wanted to, i get a mental block its horrible.

 

[Sean]

Well I kind of know how you feel, I'm 18 also and sometimes I get pretty socially awkward around girls that I find attractive.
Sometimes it's also the environment.. like if i'm at my home or somewhere very familiar with girls, i'm much more comfortable than if i'm out somewhere I haven't been with girls.

If your friends are bringing that up every time you get close to a girl.. you know it's time to ditch those guys. Find some guys who respect you.

Oh and also.. now i'm starting to think that the additude 'If you don't like me - then fresia you!' is kind of good for people who are afraid of rejection. It's your life, you really shouldn't be so concerned about what others think of you.

 

[ShybutHi]

'If you don't like me - then fresia you!'

Hey Sean, infact i have been taking that exact approach recently, it is a good thing to think about when considering talking to people you dont know. Its true aswell, if someone wants to judge you in a bad way, especially if they dont really know you, then they can shove it up their own.

 

[Sean]

'If you don't like me - then fresia you!'

Hey Sean, infact i have been taking that exact approach recently, it is a good thing to think about when considering talking to people you dont know. Its true aswell, if someone wants to judge you in a bad way, especially if they dont really know you, then they can shove it up their own.

It might make you seem rude or unpleasant.. but who cares, it makes you feel better about yourself!

 

[ShybutHi]

[/quote]
It might make you seem rude or unpleasant.. but who cares, it makes you feel better about yourself!
[/quote]

Well dont go around saying that to people you think dont like you lol!

But if your a nice person and someone just takes a dislike to you for no real reason, then screw em'.

 

[csmswhs]

hi Neozoro, i know how you feel about people making up lies, spreading them and never letting up. its horrible. and wrong. what gets me through stuff like that is trying somehow to be around people that know better. i'm trying to do more of that lately.

good luck

 

[Yukhi]

Behold the consequences of drinking too much. Drink moderately

Just because you aren't "humanly striking" doesn't mean you'll never get into a relationship or that you'll die alone. Everyday whether it be walking to or coming home from my university, I see an average/below average person coupled with someone good looking.

I used to hate having people pay attention to me. All the more having the class laugh at me. I am getting over that now though.

Just because girls don't acknowledge you, don't feel down about it. You should try to initiate a conversation with them. I hear many girls prefer guys to make the first move

Edit: And seeing it's your first post, Welcome!