Being an Only Child

[Phaedron]

Anyone else grew up as an only child here?

I find that being alone most of the time I had to invent a definition of fun that did not require being around others. Meanwhile it became preferable to think for myself and analyze existence. Being alone and being with others has a very different mentality. I generally find there is more potential for intellectual development in being alone. In my experience with those who had a lot of siblings things were always chaotic and there was no time to think.

Now 20 years later here I am, alone yet again. I don't know anyone, I don't relate to anyone, and despite thinking about things nearly all the time I don't have a clue where I belong in life or how to get there. Most I can seem to do is emphasize my talents and what I enjoy. My lonely disposition leads me to be nice to people, but also invites me to be ripped off by them, which has happened too many times to count.

 

[Zak]

Same here

 

[TheWickedOne]

I love being an only child as it means I don't have to share.

 

[Aksy]

Allot of people asked me how is it to be the only child , it seems its pretty popular around here to have many kids ( lol ). Well I like it , I dont know how it is to have brothers or sisters so I cant really compare how is it being the only child. Anyway I'm too old now to want a sister/brother its best if your both born in the same year maybe 1-2 difference.

 

[Mr. Sir]

I know an incel dude who was an only child.

 

[edgecrusher]

i have a sister. when we were younger we used to fight all the time. when i moved out at 17 i didnt really talk to my mom or my sister, i just said hi to my sister in the hallway at school and id visit her every once in awhile but not often. then when i eventually moved back in with my mom and her boyfriend, me and my sister instantly became close. now we have a place with a friend of hers. we live together and we literally never argue or anything. she is one of the few people i feel i can trust with anything in life. in a way im kind of glad things happened the way they did because maybe if i had never left we wouldnt have gotten close like we did.

 

[The Observer]

Same here man. My siblings moved out when I was really young and its just been my parents and myself ever since. Being an only child does have its advantages though. Like you said, it permits intellectual development and promotes philosophical thinking. But at the same time it can really damage your social skills. I find it hard to make and retain friends. Finding common ground with people has also been very difficult for me since I don't socialize much. Being an only child has it's pleasures, and many pains.....

 

[Ribozyme]

I'm the only child, and I must say that I'd give anything to have a sibling... My parents had one son a year before I was born. Unfortunately, he died after only three days of life... And then, a year and a half later, came I. My father once told me that they didn't want an another child after me because (and these are my father's words) they would feel obliged to give each child all the same conditions. Back then, they couldn't "afford" a second child, after me, so I never got a brother or a sister. That made me think... If my brother hasn't died, would I even been made and born? Their situation was even worse a year before my birth... Scary thoughts...

Anyway... Unfortunately, their only son is gay... I know I shouldn't feel guilty or like I've disappointed them in some way but I just don't know how I'm going to tell my mum that she'll never be a grandma... I'm almost 23 now and NEVER, ever had anyone but they never asked me if I was gay or why I had no one... But lately they've been showing signs that they might ask me when I plan on marrying someone... Fortunately, I'm at college (for the next two and a half years) so I assume they think I'm waiting to get my Master's degree before "settling down"...

If only I had a brother or a sister. I know it's a VERY selfish thought but if I had one, he or she could fill the missing parts of an "ideal child" story... Produce grandchildren, make my parents happy... My best friend told me, after I came out to him and told him all this I'm telling you now, that he so wouldn't like to be in my shoes now... That almost made my heart stop forever...

Anyway, a lot of "responsibility" lays on your back if you're an only child. You have to fit in all those traditional roles... My mother has a sister and a brother... Her sister has three daughters (one married, other one is getting married this Saturday), and her brother has two sons... My father has no siblings either but at least he has a wife and a child... His (our) family name might very well die with me...

 

[Solitary]

Only child here as well. I enjoy it for most of the time, but I find myself in the same situation as Ribozyme. An only child and gay. Continuation of the family is something that is very troubling. And I do not imagine myself telling them about it... My mom always makes those 'So, when am I gonna see your girlfriend?' kind of comments, and that just shuts my mood down for quite a while.

 

[nerdygirl]

I was an only child, and my dad was military. Then, my parents divorced, and I moved back and forth between them. I was kind of destined to be alone.

 

[Wailun]

I grew up as an only child. And I hated it. I always wanted a sibling of any sort. I felt like having a sibling would have given me someone whose like a friend within my family. I've never gotten along with anyone in my family, i've turned out to be the black sheep of the family persay.

 

[Animus]

Though I have three step-brothers, I also grew up alone, mostly with my mother. Yea, it gives a lot of time to think and invent by yourself. I think it feeds the ego which proved to be a problem for me until early puberty. Didn't get along with other children too well but I liked to grow in peace and I guess I still do.