Bullying

[TheSkaFish]

Please refrain from airing personal matters onto the forum publicly. Call them a jerk, yet you have no idea who it is or what they really said. It is a forum member after all.

Sorry. Obviously from my own experiences that I mentioned on this thread, I have strong feelings about people who attack others, especially when it involves many ganging up on one. And I also empathize with Despicable Me in particular on this issue, because of a past issue. I got carried away in the moment.

 

[Sometimes]

Some people do change, and I give those people a lot of respect for that, even though it doesn't seem to matter to others. Many people in society feel that if you once were a bad person you're always going to be a bad person. But I simply can't accept that. Realization of wrongs done to people is a much, much stronger force than anything like morality or ethics ever could be alone. Society seems to refuse to accept change in people. They distrust it and don't believe it exists.

Turning this on its head, I have applied this to myself as well. I've come to a philosophy which merges mindfulness with acceptance of what I, or whoever it is, has done. I believe that, since the past is locked in and cannot be changed, I or whoever was the baddie am a bad person in that moment. I cannot undo it, I have to accept it as fact, but it doesn't colour my current time, I'm not *bad*, I am bad in that moment in the past, and in that moment I am bad always. Ditto for if it's someone else. In that moment they are bad, and remain bad, but not in this moment. Unless they are.

Some of the family who were the worst to me when I was young, are not at all who they were then. But the evil was done, and I was still hurt. So I can still be angry with them in that moment, but can love this person as they are now.

It's a bit of a caution to guard against being bad, since it will be locked in time. But it also allows me move forward, either away from anger at another person, or away from guilt at myself.

That said, I don't 'forgive and forget'. The one-two emotional punches came pretty constant in my growing up, and I learned to stay safe. I try to forgive if I can, I never forget I just keep it as a data point, and work with it.


In V for Vendetta:
V: What was done to me was monstrous
Evvie: And you became a monster

I think I have that quote right.

 

[Raven22]

I never would have thought that i would end up being bullied online. Strange World.

 

[lonelyfairy]

^ *hugs* :/

I have been bullied in the past for about 10 years from the age of 5 to the age of 15 years old. I was the shy and quiet little girl with glasses who was just socially awkward. Those scars will never heal. They were mostly boys who bullied. Because of that I almost killed myself.

 

[PenDragon]

^ *hugs* :/

I have been bullied in the past for about 10 years from the age of 5 to the age of 15 years old. I was the shy and quiet little girl with glasses who was just socially awkward. Those scars will never heal. They were mostly boys who bullied. Because of that I almost killed myself.

Sorry to know that, fairy.

 

[Raven22]

*hugs Lonelyfairy*

---

http://writing-community.writersworkshop.co.uk/magazine/read/bullying-and-justice_3542.html

 

[lonelyfairy]

^ *hugs* :/

I have been bullied in the past for about 10 years from the age of 5 to the age of 15 years old. I was the shy and quiet little girl with glasses who was just socially awkward. Those scars will never heal. They were mostly boys who bullied. Because of that I almost killed myself.

Sorry to know that, fairy.

*hugs Lonelyfairy*

 

[Magalie]

^ *hugs* :/

I have been bullied in the past for about 10 years from the age of 5 to the age of 15 years old. I was the shy and quiet little girl with glasses who was just socially awkward. Those scars will never heal. They were mostly boys who bullied. Because of that I almost killed myself.

((((Hug)))) Lonelyfairy!

 

[Tiina63]

^ *hugs* :/

I have been bullied in the past for about 10 years from the age of 5 to the age of 15 years old. I was the shy and quiet little girl with glasses who was just socially awkward. Those scars will never heal. They were mostly boys who bullied. Because of that I almost killed myself.

I wish that you and I had been in the same class as I would have liked to be your friend. We could have faced down the bullies together then.

 

[lonelyfairy]

^ *hugs* :/

I have been bullied in the past for about 10 years from the age of 5 to the age of 15 years old. I was the shy and quiet little girl with glasses who was just socially awkward. Those scars will never heal. They were mostly boys who bullied. Because of that I almost killed myself.

((((Hug)))) Lonelyfairy!

Aww! *hugs back*

^ *hugs* :/

I have been bullied in the past for about 10 years from the age of 5 to the age of 15 years old. I was the shy and quiet little girl with glasses who was just socially awkward. Those scars will never heal. They were mostly boys who bullied. Because of that I almost killed myself.

I wish that you and I had been in the same class as I would have liked to be your friend. We could have faced down the bullies together then.

Aw, I wish too. Thank you so much~!! <3

 

[matt4]

Bullying was rife at both of my schools primary and secondary. Very few managed to avoid it. I was bullied in both schools. By quite a few people.

 

[Kid_A]

Bullies make me want to punch something. Can't stand them.

 

[kamya]

Bullies make me want to punch something. Can't stand them.

The bully?

 

[Kid_A]

Bullies make me want to punch something. Can't stand them.

The bully?

Yes.

---

 

[Blueforge88]

My mom enrolled me in schools where she thought, I'd be safe from bullying up until High School. I went to a Catholic Elementary school, things where ok up until about 4th grade, when this new kid started going to the school. He was quiet the first week but, later started acting out to a point where even the teachers nor Sisters couldnt handle him. All the roughest kids in class started hanging around him and terrorized the rest of my classmates. I got picked alot by this kid and his cronies and one day, he started a riot in the class after the teacher had left for something. I remember kids throwing stuff everywhere and somehow something sharp hits my head and knocking me to the floor. I ran down the hall to the infirmiry with another teacher complaining about how I was dripping blood everywhere. My mom was pissed! Not just at the situation but, also because the Sisters refused to punish those responsible. Their only solution was isolating me from the est of the class for the last two months of school.

I got transferred a new school but, i never got bullied the way I did in Elementary. I didnt see the kid again, until we where adults. He walked into my job during a busy shift and asked if, I remembered him. "I replied...no I don't" . Of course, I did but, time had progressed so far, that I didnt care about him or who he was as an adult. I did think about vengeance over the years but, ultimately it doesnt solve anything. I only wish, I had stood up to him years ago.

 

[Kid_A]

My mom enrolled me in schools where she thought, I'd be safe from bullying up until High School. I went to a Catholic Elementary school, things where ok up until about 4th grade, when this new kid started going to the school. He was quiet the first week but, later started acting out to a point where even the teachers nor Sisters couldnt handle him. All the roughest kids in class started hanging around him and terrorized the rest of my classmates. I got picked alot by this kid and his cronies and one day, he started a riot in the class after the teacher had left for something. I remember kids throwing stuff everywhere and somehow something sharp hits my head and knocking me to the floor. I ran down the hall to the infirmiry with another teacher complaining about how I was dripping blood everywhere. My mom was pissed! Not just at the situation but, also because the Sisters refused to punish those responsible. Their only solution was isolating me from the est of the class for the last two months of school.

I got transferred a new school but, i never got bullied the way I did in Elementary. I didnt see the kid again, until we where adults. He walked into my job during a busy shift and asked if, I remembered him. "I replied...no I don't" . Of course, I did but, time had progressed so far, that I didnt care about him or who he was as an adult. I did think about vengeance over the years but, ultimately it doesnt solve anything. I only wish, I had stood up to him years ago.

It's amazing how far bullying can go unpunished. I'm sorry you had to go through that as a kid.

 

[h3donist]

I was pretty badly bullied at school which has affected me in later life. Though it's not so much the bullies that affected me but the mealy mouthed pathetic response from those who are supposed to protect people from bullies. I heard every excuse: "it's because the bullies had a bad home life - he's the victim here", "you should get together and try to solve your differences" "maybe if you tried not to stand out as much" "you need to stand up for yourself up more" "it's character building", "boys can't be bullied by girls" and a huge list of other crap that teachers and parents trot out when I approached them for help. Even when I was beaten to the ground in full view of the teachers - nothing was done because my assailants were female.

I'm 34 now and I still get affected when I see bullying on TV or witness it in the workplace or when I had noisy neighbours who used to laugh when I banged on the wall or called the police. The physical, mental and psychological trauma never goes away, yet the whole system seems to be weighted towards supporting the bullies rather than their victims.

I think this is how bullying should be dealt with.

1) Anyone who bullies someone to the point of their victim committing suicide should be charged with manslaughter
2) Persistent bullies should be segregated and taught a harsher curriculum where fun activities are replaced with hard, dirty work.
3) Reward bullies who change their ways and become decent kids - punish those who don't.
4) Parents of bullies who refuse to discipline their kids should be charged with whatever crimes their kid commits. Theft and assault would soon be stopped if their parents had to pay fines or do jail time.

 

[Sci-Fi]

It's amazing how far bullying can go unpunished. I'm sorry you had to go through that as a kid.

This is true. When I was in high school some random kid I didn't even know and who didn't even know me decided to stick gum in my hair. Did I mention this was high school. So naturally I went home after it happened, I waited until the class bell rang then slipped out hoping no one would see me with gum in my hair. My mom was furious that a kid did such a thing and naturally called the school to complain. Thankfully my friend who witnessed it knew who the kid was so he got punished for his actions. BUT so did I. The ***** of a VP we had gave me a detention because I left school grounds without signing out. This was quite a few years ago before all the fears and security we have now. She expected me, a teenager who was completely embarrassed with gum in my hair to walk through the school to the office to sign out so more people could see the gum in my hair. This VP just liked to flex her muscle with her position, she was pretty much a bully too. I didn't serve my detention, I went home and told my mom what happened, she was pretty pissed off that the VP gave me a detention. A different VP felt it was wrong that I got a detention but couldn't undermine the authority of the other, and since I skipped my detention he had to give me another.

 

[Kid_A]

It's amazing how far bullying can go unpunished. I'm sorry you had to go through that as a kid.

This is true. When I was in high school some random kid I didn't even know and who didn't even know me decided to stick gum in my hair. Did I mention this was high school. So naturally I went home after it happened, I waited until the class bell rang then slipped out hoping no one would see me with gum in my hair. My mom was furious that a kid did such a thing and naturally called the school to complain. Thankfully my friend who witnessed it knew who the kid was so he got punished for his actions. BUT so did I. The ***** of a VP we had gave me a detention because I left school grounds without signing out. This was quite a few years ago before all the fears and security we have now. She expected me, a teenager who was completely embarrassed with gum in my hair to walk through the school to the office to sign out so more people could see the gum in my hair. This VP just liked to flex her muscle with her position, she was pretty much a bully too. I didn't serve my detention, I went home and told my mom what happened, she was pretty pissed off that the VP gave me a detention. A different VP felt it was wrong that I got a detention but couldn't undermine the authority of the other, and since I skipped my detention he had to give me another.

That WAS a ***** of a VP. She was definitely in the wrong profession.

I got bullied by the majority of my junior high school. 7 girls once ganged up on me and tried to beat me up at lunch but I defended myself. I got suspended for defending myself. During my suspension, my Mom put together a huge amount of work for me to do and I had to do it as a punishment. It was only years later that my Mom admitted to me that she was proud of me for sticking up for myself. Haha She is one tough lady.

 

[Mrs Falcon]

At school I never allow anyone to bully me.