Can't cope with my reality...

[NIKE]

I have no past(memories for 5 or so years, good childhood tho.) to look at for comfort, present to immerse myself in or future to look forward to.

Hope. I used to have that to some extent in the form of a girl who went to the same college as I did, a girl I would talk to often. A girl whose company I valued more than the combination of everything else in my life. The day's success was not measured by my performance on a test or a presentation but rather by the sort of contact I made with her, it was often considerably brief, since I wouldn't always find things to say and she was often with her friends. But a smile or enthusiatic wave was often adequate enough to make me happy for the rest of day. There was reason to believe that she liked me too, but I procrastinated as it is my nature to do so, I procrastinated out of fear and inexperience.

Anyfuckingway, it was time for summer. The highlight of that summer(last summer) was when I recieved a text from her, completely unexpected. it elevated my mood from severe boredom to a happiness I am unable to relate to in my life.

Finish summer, I come back. I learn that she got a summer job (@ school) and met some dude who became her boyfriend. It was like my heart was ripped out of my ******* chest and smeared all over my miserable life, and there is this dark abyss and I'm falling....and falling... and there is no way out.

The what-if aspect is ******* with my head, especially since I generally lack passion for anything, I have difficulty sleeping (resorted to pills as of late) and in the mornings the emptiness and loneliness is overwhelming. Motivation is shot, I cannot be messed doing anything that requires an ounce of effort anymore. I mean what the hell is the point, seriously.

what if I had done something, take some sort of action. how different would things be now? what if what if what if....I don't want to be here anymore.

 

[Joseph]

You are suffering from a severe and debilitating case of one-itis. You need to forget that girl. Seriously, there are three billion more out there. Many of whom would gladly go for a ride on Nike-Bike. Now, get up, get out there, and GFTOW.

 

[blackwave]

I had my heartbroken by a girl I met on the internet. She told me she was madly in love with me. I booked a plane ticket to go and visit her, and we spent hours discussing how it would be when I got there. Then, a couple of months before I was due to arrive, she cheated on me and went off with someone else. I love her, so, yeah, I'm constantly focusing on the 'what-if'. If only I had done certain things differently, if only she had never met this guy, if only she had more courage when it came to a long-distance relationship, if only I could get her back. I'm afraid I have no answers, because I'm still in a deep, deep depression about it. But I think trying to build a social life and meet other people might be key to moving on. If I don't do that, I think I'll probably kill myself.

 

[brickinthewall]

Hey Nike and let me start off by saying I'm sorry to hear this. The amount of people that have these sorts of things happening to them is really getting to me lately.

However I'd like to ask if you have ever told her how you felt? If you haven't , it may not be too late. I'm not saying you should put too much hope in this but telling her and seeing her reaction will at least get the "what-if's" out of your head. Think about it and also think about what else you have to lose? Tell her , see how she reacts and move on.

Good luck with this and take care.

~Michael

 

[Poguesy]

Then, a couple of months before I was due to arrive, she cheated on me and went off with someone else.

The evil realities of the internet.

 

[Cathedral]

Do you see? This is exactly what happens when you attempt to rely on someone else for your happiness! Especially someone who was probably nothing more than an acquaintance. It's quite difficult, but you must find happiness in yourself. If you cannot enjoy your own company, then no one else will be able to enjoy your company.

 

[Joseph]

NIKE ---

GFTOW

google it

 

[Cathedral]

NIKE ---

GFTOW

google it

Instead of telling everyone on here to GFTOW (whatever the Hell that means), why don't you GTFO?

You're probably the worst "alpha-male" assjock type of troll I have ever seen on here. You don't even try to make a point, you just link to some stupid e-book, use some unfunny, obscure Internet slang and that's it.

You are such a joke it's not even funny.

 

[Poguesy]

It will only be a matter of time before another opportunity comes walking on by and when it does grab it quickly and use it, between the legs if possible

I suck at advice

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Its alright dude...
sorry you feel that way..Cant say I feel ur pains..cuz i dont.
It wouldnt help u much if I ot into great details about my love life and countless times my had been put thrugh the blender...

I dont have ur answer or even half of rhe answers I need...

I just not to dwell on it so much anymore..
On somedays I just stand up and hold my head up ..looking into the sunlight and just breathe...

 

[Joseph]

Instead of telling everyone on here to GFTOW (whatever the Hell that means), why don't you GTFO?

You're probably the worst "alpha-male" assjock type of troll I have ever seen on here. You don't even try to make a point, you just link to some stupid e-book, use some unfunny, obscure Internet slang and that's it.

You are such a joke it's not even funny.

Nice to meet you too!

I don't know exactly. Did I tell everyone to GFTOW? I can't remember, I guess it is entirely possible, but I don't think it happened that way. It is good and broadly applicable advice though.

Thanks for your opinion.

I see you are a fan of name calling. Sophisticated!

 

[NIKE]

You are suffering from a severe and debilitating case of one-itis. You need to forget that girl. Seriously, there are three billion more out there. Many of whom would gladly go for a ride on Nike-Bike. Now, get up, get out there, and GFTOW.

I'd gladly go and 'GFTOW' if I knew how...my last college semester starts in a week or so. So the fact that I will be graduating and leaving a place where I am surrounded by hundreds of women my age, and yet I haven't even come close to intimacy is making this harder. The window of opportunity is only going to get smaller after that, I'm only 22 but I feel like an 85 year old waiting to die.

I had my heartbroken by a girl I met on the internet. She told me she was madly in love with me. I booked a plane ticket to go and visit her, and we spent hours discussing how it would be when I got there. Then, a couple of months before I was due to arrive, she cheated on me and went off with someone else. I love her, so, yeah, I'm constantly focusing on the 'what-if'. If only I had done certain things differently, if only she had never met this guy, if only she had more courage when it came to a long-distance relationship, if only I could get her back. I'm afraid I have no answers, because I'm still in a deep, deep depression about it. But I think trying to build a social life and meet other people might be key to moving on. If I don't do that, I think I'll probably kill myself.

That sux dude, how exactly did you meet her tho? I'm curious. Anyway breh, it's a little comforting knowing we're in this together is it not? I also think having a decent social life is essential in times like this. Watching 'Friends' the show makes me sad, because it does reflect the reality of some I'm sure. I'd love to have 5 loved ones to hang around and comfort me in times like these, but the very sad truth is that I have no one. The very very few 'friends' I have are always busy and there is no way I would feel comfortable telling them about something like this, infact I haven't seen them in weeks.

Hey Nike and let me start off by saying I'm sorry to hear this. The amount of people that have these sorts of things happening to them is really getting to me lately.

However I'd like to ask if you have ever told her how you felt? If you haven't , it may not be too late. I'm not saying you should put too much hope in this but telling her and seeing her reaction will at least get the "what-if's" out of your head. Think about it and also think about what else you have to lose? Tell her , see how she reacts and move on.

Good luck with this and take care.

~Michael

Hi Mike. You know what, she is on facebook atm I could just copy/paste 'Hey ****, I couldn't stop thinkning about you ever since the day I met you, I may be in love with you' two clicks and it'll be done with...but bro I've never admitted love to a girl before in my life, for someone like me, it seems impossible. I fear rejection like I fear death for some reason, irrational but true. Maybe I'll one day down half a litre of vodka and do something about this, because god knows it's killing me. I'll also be seeing alot of her once school starts again (we're doing same major project together)

It will only be a matter of time before another opportunity comes walking on by and when it does grab it quickly and use it, between the legs if possible

I suck at advice

Thanks breh.

Its alright dude...
sorry you feel that way..Cant say I feel ur pains..cuz i dont.
It wouldnt help u much if I ot into great details about my love life and countless times my had been put thrugh the blender...

I dont have ur answer or even half of rhe answers I need...

I just not to dwell on it so much anymore..
On somedays I just stand up and hold my head up ..looking into the sunlight and just breathe...

Thanks.

 

[brickinthewall]

Nike , I completely understand but the fact is you just have to man up and say it. Say it over facebook , or text her , it will be A LOT easier than saying it to her face. I only said this once because I only ever loved one person in my life but trust me , that sense of relief will be like something you have never felt before , it won't even matter too much what her reaction will be like. My advice would be , don't throw out everything in the open , take it easy , tell her how you have started to have strong feelings for her instead of just bursting out with an "I love you!" because that might just scare her away. I say , write down your message to her , think it over 100 times , take a deep breath close your eyes and click the send button but choose your words carefully , take it slow. Besides , what difference will it make what she will say? Can it get worse than this? I myself was rejected but if I could go back I wouldn't change a thing , it's better to know that to not know.

Good luck and take care.

~Michael

 

[Joseph]

Nike,

Here is the thing, bro. You've got to adopt a mentality of abundance. You've got to believe that you are a worthy goal. Instead of having the mindset that because this girl is the one who got away. Have a mindset that there are three billion women out there all looking for you to give them one reason to go on a date with you. Don't let the one-itis kill you. It's not healthy and it can be fatal. Trust me, you have some idealized version of that girl in your mind and I guarantee even if you had scored her and were with her right now, she would not be all that, feel me? She has her flaws, conditions and issues just like every other human being. You need to let it go. Trust me. This is coming from someone who has been exactly where you are right now. It's not your situation that is going to get you, it is your mindframe, bro. You even said "I feel like an 85 year old" but you aren't. That is all in your head. It's how you "feel". You need to change the way you are thinking. Again, you need to adopt an attitude of ABUNDANCE. Women will come and go and there are way too many to count. There is only one you. Know your value. Spend that energy that you have, which is currently being channeled toward negative and borderline obsessive thoughts and use it to get in shape, to go have fun, to take up a hobby. Women are everywhere. As soon as you start LOVING life and really meaning it, they will be all around you like fireflies.

So, find your flame for life then GFTOW!

 

[tangerinedream]

Nike,

Here is the thing, bro. You've got to adopt a mentality of abundance. You've got to believe that you are a worthy goal. Instead of having the mindset that because this girl is the one who got away. Have a mindset that there are three billion women out there all looking for you to give them one reason to go on a date with you. Don't let the one-itis kill you. It's not healthy and it can be fatal. Trust me, you have some idealized version of that girl in your mind and I guarantee even if you had scored her and were with her right now, she would not be all that, feel me? She has her flaws, conditions and issues just like every other human being. You need to let it go. Trust me. This is coming from someone who has been exactly where you are right now. It's not your situation that is going to get you, it is your mindframe, bro. You even said "I feel like an 85 year old" but you aren't. That is all in your head. It's how you "feel". You need to change the way you are thinking. Again, you need to adopt an attitude of ABUNDANCE. Women will come and go and there are way too many to count. There is only one you. Know your value. Spend that energy that you have, which is currently being channeled toward negative and borderline obsessive thoughts and use it to get in shape, to go have fun, to take up a hobby. Women are everywhere. As soon as you start LOVING life and really meaning it, they will be all around you like fireflies.

So, find your flame for life then GFTOW!

Ok, fess up: Did you write the Urban Dictionary entry for GFTOW and you just want to boost its popularity?

 

[Joseph]

Ok, fess up: Did you write the Urban Dictionary entry for GFTOW and you just want to boost its popularity?

I wish. Wise masters who came before me blazed these trails.

 

[tangerinedream]

Ok, fess up: Did you write the Urban Dictionary entry for GFTOW and you just want to boost its popularity?

I wish. Wise masters who came before me blazed these trails.

Oh well, at least you're an ardent acolyte.


I don't really think it's the greatest advice - for anyone I mean, even if it were GFTOM aimed a women with one-itis - I think the "******* yourself into oblivion" is only a distraction technique. It may feel good at the time, but it doesn't last very long. Kind of like a cheap sugar high. It feels great until the insulin crash. But that's JMO.

 

[Joseph]

In his case, GFTOW is meant to show him that what he feels for this girl is not LOVE. It is obsession. There was never a relationship. It was all in his mind. Now he has idolized this girl to otherworldly status in his mind and heart. They've never been intimate or had any special connection. Again, the problem is with his self-esteem. He is absolutely convinced that she is the only girl he could ever be with, so he is not so much suffering a loss over her as he is suffering a loss over his opportunity to not be lonely. He needs to realize that if he just finds himself and gets passionate about life and things, that people (including women) will gravitate toward him. Again, there are three billion.

About the GFTOW advice. That doesn't work for women because women are relationship-based instinctively. Men are hunter-based instinctively. If he can get in touch with his instincts of being confident and actively pursuing women, he can maybe get his head out of his A$$ and compose himself.

GFTOW is meant tongue-in-cheek. It could just as well be GPTOW (go pursue ten other women). It just means get out there and live life. It just meant stop obsessing, but G-F-TOW is funnier!

 

[tangerinedream]

In his case, GFTOW is meant to show him that what he feels for this girl is not LOVE. It is obsession. There was never a relationship. It was all in his mind. Now he has idolized this girl to otherworldly status in his mind and heart. They've never been intimate or had any special connection. Again, the problem is with his self-esteem. He is absolutely convinced that she is the only girl he could ever be with, so he is not so much suffering a loss over her as he is suffering a loss over his opportunity to not be lonely. He needs to realize that if he just finds himself and gets passionate about life and things, that people (including women) will gravitate toward him. Again, there are three billion.

I agree with a lot of that.

About the GFTOW advice. That doesn't work for women because women are relationship-based instinctively. Men are hunter-based instinctively. If he can get in touch with his instincts of being confident and actively pursuing women, he can maybe get his head out of his A$$ and compose himself.

Uh-huh. Great. More evolution. I thought you worked to debunk that yesterday by claiming men had evolved past being run wholly on primal kill-a-mastondon instincts.

Actually I'm jist splitting hairs there. I agree with the advice about finding more confidence and actually that bit of advice is useful for everyone, regardless of what plumbing they have.

GFTOW is meant tongue-in-cheek. It could just as well be GPTOW (go pursue ten other women). It just means get out there and live life. It just meant stop obsessing, but G-F-TOW is funnier!

Mmhmm. Except some douchebags live by this credo and try to - literally - go fresia 10 other women. I think it's a part of the ********* Manifesto.

 

[Joseph]

NIKE,

stop thinking like this:

and start thinking like this: