running with pain
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what are your views on cutting?
cutting
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Rosebolt
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I know/have known many people who've done it. It's like music, or drawing, or writing, or sports, just a way to express emotions in. Obviously, cutting isn't a healthy type of doing so. A girl i knew also burned herself twice, to get a more intense effect. Of course, this was excrutiatingly painful, and she never wants to do it again.
Cutting gives a boost of some chemical i forgot the name of. Anyway, it gives a good feeling. It can also be just to feel something when people feel numb.
I personally have cut myself once on purpose. Needless to say, i'm not a cutter by any stretch of the imagination.
For me, and, more importantly, from what i've witnissed, cutting is an escape, like drinking, or gaming.
Edward W said:
Cutting gives a boost of some chemical i forgot the name of. Anyway, it gives a good feeling. It can also be just to feel something when people feel numb.
I personally have cut myself once on purpose. Needless to say, i'm not a cutter by any stretch of the imagination.
For me, and, more importantly, from what i've witnissed, cutting is an escape, like drinking, or gaming.
painter's radio
Well-known member
Apparently it releases endorphins.
I've done it many times over the years, usually in phases when I'm going through honeysuckle I can't deal with. Started off as scratches but over time it got worse, I'd grab a meat carving knife, roll my sleeve up, hold the knife against my skin and in one swift slice I'd tear myself open, and watch it start to cry before frantically trying to stop the bleeding with copious amounths of tissue and pressure. Then I'd walk to casualty and get it stitched up, and come home and go to bed.
I'd feel very delicate the following days, taking care not to bump into anyone or anything, constantly feeling the bandaging under my clothing, and, although guilty and ashamed, it made me feel cared for. It wasn't at all a sexual thing nor would I call it a fetish, but there was something very nice about the feeling of being looked after, taken care of.
But why did I do it? There are many theories as to why people do it, the main one being for attention. I guess the whole wanting to be taken care of thing is attention seeking, but it was just from strangers... nurses... it was never something I wanted to share with people I knew, and every day I try to hide my scars. I've often thought it was a good way to constantly hide myself, to not let myself have too much fun, at the beach, the swimming pool, the whatever activity that involves being somewhat naked... including sex. A way to hide, to stop myself getting too close to anyone. This is just theory though. Probably partially true. The main reason is that I can't deal with mental or emotional pain, and would much rather physical. Also, seeing yourself bleed like that is a real slap in the face, a great distraction from the shitty feelings, when no amount of cognitive practice, talk therapy, or physical exercise will help. Plus the afore mentioned feeling of delicacy and softness that would occur the following days. Music would sound better. Films seemed more appealing. Some things would just look a bit more beautiful after an ordeal.
I've done it many times over the years, usually in phases when I'm going through honeysuckle I can't deal with. Started off as scratches but over time it got worse, I'd grab a meat carving knife, roll my sleeve up, hold the knife against my skin and in one swift slice I'd tear myself open, and watch it start to cry before frantically trying to stop the bleeding with copious amounths of tissue and pressure. Then I'd walk to casualty and get it stitched up, and come home and go to bed.
I'd feel very delicate the following days, taking care not to bump into anyone or anything, constantly feeling the bandaging under my clothing, and, although guilty and ashamed, it made me feel cared for. It wasn't at all a sexual thing nor would I call it a fetish, but there was something very nice about the feeling of being looked after, taken care of.
But why did I do it? There are many theories as to why people do it, the main one being for attention. I guess the whole wanting to be taken care of thing is attention seeking, but it was just from strangers... nurses... it was never something I wanted to share with people I knew, and every day I try to hide my scars. I've often thought it was a good way to constantly hide myself, to not let myself have too much fun, at the beach, the swimming pool, the whatever activity that involves being somewhat naked... including sex. A way to hide, to stop myself getting too close to anyone. This is just theory though. Probably partially true. The main reason is that I can't deal with mental or emotional pain, and would much rather physical. Also, seeing yourself bleed like that is a real slap in the face, a great distraction from the shitty feelings, when no amount of cognitive practice, talk therapy, or physical exercise will help. Plus the afore mentioned feeling of delicacy and softness that would occur the following days. Music would sound better. Films seemed more appealing. Some things would just look a bit more beautiful after an ordeal.
LonelyLola
Well-known member
I never really got it before, but during this last breakup I had an experience that I think allowed me to semi understand why some people cut.
I wanted to die when my life as I had been planning it ended. I didn't know what I was going to do to face each day. So I have access to a number of different medications, and after some research figured out what cocktail and amounts of them would put me into a coma and kill me.
And when life seemed too unbearable, I would think about my exit strategy. I always thought it though to the end, which is why I never actually ended things. I knew I wasn't actually ready to die because I still cared too much about the people I would leave behind and how they would react. I didn't want to hurt them.
But the imagery of the act, closing my eyes and thinking it thru, it made me think of my best friend in high school. She used to cut and said it was because she could see the pain-and by cutting she also relieved the pain. The option was always there, as a comfort. She didn't want to really hurt herself, but because she as hurting so much, it allowed her to focus all the pain in one area.
So anyway, that's my thoughts.
I wanted to die when my life as I had been planning it ended. I didn't know what I was going to do to face each day. So I have access to a number of different medications, and after some research figured out what cocktail and amounts of them would put me into a coma and kill me.
And when life seemed too unbearable, I would think about my exit strategy. I always thought it though to the end, which is why I never actually ended things. I knew I wasn't actually ready to die because I still cared too much about the people I would leave behind and how they would react. I didn't want to hurt them.
But the imagery of the act, closing my eyes and thinking it thru, it made me think of my best friend in high school. She used to cut and said it was because she could see the pain-and by cutting she also relieved the pain. The option was always there, as a comfort. She didn't want to really hurt herself, but because she as hurting so much, it allowed her to focus all the pain in one area.
So anyway, that's my thoughts.
P
perfanoff
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Makes sense for the body to release natural painkillers when pain has been inflicted.
Blush
Well-known member
I used to cut because it temporarily took away the emotional pain. The stinging feeling that I felt as I sliced open my skin felt much better to me than the misery that plagued me every day. Those times were always difficult for me but when it got just a bit too much for me to handle I would do it and I'd feel better.
Badjedidude
Well-known member
I cut things all the time.
Metal, wood, fabrics, anything!
I have a special pair of super sharp scissors that I use for all of my projects -- they even work for thinner metals, though usually for metal and wood I use saws.
Metal, wood, fabrics, anything!
I have a special pair of super sharp scissors that I use for all of my projects -- they even work for thinner metals, though usually for metal and wood I use saws.
Tuppence
Well-known member
It's a really effective way of making everything else hurt less...for a short time. I suppose it's kind of like drugs or alcohol. It's addictive, so the urges can be very strong, and the feeling when it happens is incredible. There's relief, there's a feeling of control, there are all kinds of feelings that make you believe you've done something good. But then the feeling fades, and you hate yourself for doing it, but then you want that feeling to go away too, but the only way you know is cutting again, and it doesn't really make you better because the guilt and self hatred keeps building up, and it seems like there's so much to feel guilty about and to hate yourself for already.
It is possible to stop though. I stopped when I first got pregnant because I was so scared I'd hurt the baby in some way. I wasn't strong enough to stop for myself or maybe I didn't like myself enough, but I'm glad I stopped. I still want to do it sometimes, but I haven't. I hope I never will.
It is possible to stop though. I stopped when I first got pregnant because I was so scared I'd hurt the baby in some way. I wasn't strong enough to stop for myself or maybe I didn't like myself enough, but I'm glad I stopped. I still want to do it sometimes, but I haven't. I hope I never will.
running with pain
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it is very addictive. i have done it several times. my advice to everyone is not to do it. it doesn't actually make anything better
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