Dating sites - what I don't understand

[Dissident]

There is no working formula which is why dating sites are a crock. What works for some will not work for others, and in trying to write something that works for others you likely alienate both. Couple this with the fact that everyone finds any minor reason not to ever respond to or message anyone. The only purpose of dating sites at the end of the day is ego-stroking.

 

[perfanoff]

Hehe. Some girl "liked" me on this twoo thing a while back. I wrote to her, she didn't answer.
So you may have a point there Dissident. Maybe receiving a message was good enough for her.

 

[Moe'sTavern]

When I did have a profile up, I was pretty honest about my personality and interests in scifi, gaming, and cons. I tried to make it a bit funny so it wouldn't look stale. I figured if someone is going to look on your profile, they should see the real you and not some fake version. After 3 years, many messages sent, and hardly any responses, I decided to just take it down. I might try again some time in the future. Or maybe not. It just seems to be exhausting and more trouble than it's worth.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

You have to remember that men greatly outnumber the amount of women on there. And a lot of attractive men use it for just hooking up, and the men who are interested in more than just sex are usually overlooked.

 

[Dissident]

Well yeah. Women have somewhat of an advantage here because the gender roles of our culture have been formed in such a way as to deny women what they want. Because of the risk of being "slut shamed" and things like that, society has built the expectation for the men to be proactive and the women to be in a position to decide. The only way for a dating website to possibly work at all is to substantially limit the number of male users - and that still probably won't work. This isn't even taking into consideration the fact that asexuality is 10x as prevalent in women as men.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I don't think it's so much asexually as women and men are sexually attracted to different things.

 

[Dissident]

No, there actually was a study that concluded that there are 10x as many asexual women as men. I posted the link on another thread, but I can't remember where.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

What defines asexual?

I've often wondered if I fit that definition? I don't chase women. I'm fine being alone and would rather them come to me.

 

[Dissident]

An utter lack of sexual desire or attraction.

 

[Moe'sTavern]

What defines asexual?

I've often wondered if I fit that definition? I don't chase women. I'm fine being alone and would rather them come to me.

If I become unsuccessful in the dating scene, I'm fine staying single as well.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I have a sexual attraction, so I guess I'm not asexual.

 

[murmi97]

I don't think it's so much asexually as women and men are sexually attracted to different things.

That's a generalization. I hope what you mean is that some women, and I'm sure some men too, are stimulated by things other than human physicality and seduction.

 

[Dissident]

Every time someone tries to point out generalizations, a thread dies and honest discourse goes with it. Sometimes generalizations exist for a reason.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

It's not a generalization.

 

[VanillaCreme]

It's not a generalization.

It can be looked at as a generalization. Unless you can speak for all that you talk about, it really is. I'm sure there's more than a few who escape whatever rule you're trying to place down.