Puddled Duck said:Never honeysuckle on your own doorstep.
ardour said:But if someone were interested and we clicked then I wouldn't pass up the opportunity just because we worked at the same place. It's not as though there's the option of being picky about the when and wheres of it.
TheSkaFish said:ardour said:But if someone were interested and we clicked then I wouldn't pass up the opportunity just because we worked at the same place. It's not as though there's the option of being picky about the when and wheres of it.
I agree. It seems kind of silly to NOT date someone if they give you a chance, just because you work at the same place. I really don't like the idea that everything in dating has to seem random, has to seem like it's fate or it's "meant to be". Some of us don't want to just sit on our hands and wait for random chance to give us a break that it's never given us before.
ardour said:TheSkaFish said:ardour said:But if someone were interested and we clicked then I wouldn't pass up the opportunity just because we worked at the same place. It's not as though there's the option of being picky about the when and wheres of it.
I agree. It seems kind of silly to NOT date someone if they give you a chance, just because you work at the same place. I really don't like the idea that everything in dating has to seem random, has to seem like it's fate or it's "meant to be". Some of us don't want to just sit on our hands and wait for random chance to give us a break that it's never given us before.
When people say "don't honeysuckle where you eat", or "women have to worry about harassment at work", I can't help wondering where the right context is then, because this kind of reasoning could be applied to regular meetup groups or extended social circle as well; basically any situation that involves regularly bumping into the same individuals, where people don't already explicitly consent to having interest thrown their way (i.e. online dating).
TheSkaFish said:They chain you to your first impression, and you either fly or sink with it.
ardour said:Metoo seems to have people paranoid. Women react badly to unwanted attention no matter where it occurs (and yes Callie that does include unwanted invites to coffee) but unless you cross a boundary as far as repeated requests, asking a direct report out, or generally shitty behaviour, there's nothing they can do as far as HR is concerned.
kaetic said:And for the record... harassment isn't about getting some one to date you. It's about exerting your power over some one else.
kaetic said:Also, Ska... if a woman is going to hold your flaws (nerves, lack of confidence, whatever the bad first impression was) against you before she's even had a chance to get to know you, that sounds like a pretty huge flaw on her part. Are you sure she's a good fish? You can throw back the ones you don't like.
kaetic said:Of course, there's always the option of not dating at all...
I don't know if it's easier or not... but it's kind of where I've landed.
ardour said:Metoo seems to have people paranoid. Women react badly to unwanted attention no matter where it occurs (and yes Callie that does include unwanted invites to coffee) but unless you cross a boundary as far as repeated requests, asking a direct report out, or generally shitty behaviour, there's nothing they can do as far as HR is concerned.
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