Denying Sexual Desire = Happiness

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IVIZ said:
Yes your right there are people out there that dont desire to be with someone and are lonely, but guess what, its mostly females that are the ones involved in that kind of situation. This thread is meant for the guys, sorry ladies, you have a wonderfull way of thinking but it still does not replace what a mans desire to be with someone just because of this natural urge that constantly reminds him that he needs a mate.

Nope. Wrong. Ever hear of asexuality (www.asexuality.org)? There are asexual men and women. Neither experience sexual attraction and yet there are asexual dating sites in existence. They still seek companionship just as much as someone who does have sexual desires.

I don't know why you want to exclude women from posting, but this is my last post. Hope you pay attention to it and stop making everything to black and white. There are gray areas.
 
IVIZ said:
OH GOD!!!!! Ladies, ladies my beautiful, wonderfull dreamlike mind ladies! Thankyou for your input, but forgive me to say this, but sexual desire for girls is not the same as the intense sexual urges from testosterone* driven men. Where are all the guys??? why are only the women posting? Anyways...

Oh for fresia's sake. How would you even know what sexual desire is like for a woman?
 
IVIZ said:
Our sexual desires is the main reason why I feel lonely. .... <edited lol>

Hmm... is it sexual desire you're talking about or a desire for intimacy? Coz the two can be confused (maybe that's why the girls are posting - it's an accusation levelled at them usually :p ).

I mean I can remember my last girlfriend (just) and I miss her still. But it's the lack of physical intimacy that kicks my butt. And sex is only one way of expressing that physical intimacy, right? I mean you could go out and bang dead-eyed hookers all night long but in the morning would you feel any less alone? I seriously doubt it dude.
 
IVIZ said:
I knew I should expect some bashing. This is such a diverse subject and many different views can be touched on.

Was I not clear the first time? I wasn't bashing you. I was arguing a differing opinion.

IVIZ said:
OH GOD!!!!! Ladies, ladies my beautiful, wonderfull dreamlike mind ladies! Thankyou for your input, but forgive me to say this, but sexual desire for girls is not the same as the intense sexual urges from testosterone* driven men. Where are all the guys??? why are only the women posting? Anyways...

Wooo wooo!!! Next stop, Generalization City! All Abooooooaaaard!

IVIZ said:
Yes your right there are people out there that dont desire to be with someone and are lonely, but guess what, its mostly females that are the ones involved in that kind of situation.

I disagree.

You know, it seems like you're getting upset that no one is agreeing with you, IVIZ. That's fine, you're allowed to feel that way. But don't start playing the "women don't understand" game just so you can perpetuate your misunderstanding of the issue.
 
cheaptrickfan said:
IVIZ said:
OH GOD!!!!! Ladies, ladies my beautiful, wonderfull dreamlike mind ladies! Thankyou for your input, but forgive me to say this, but sexual desire for girls is not the same as the intense sexual urges from testosterone* driven men. Where are all the guys??? why are only the women posting? Anyways...

Oh for fresia's sake. How would you even know what sexual desire is like for a woman?

My thoughts exactly. He doesn't know honeysuckle about anyone else, or their desires. And he's not going to exclude females from posting. Sounds like to me he just wants someone to agree with his disillusioned thoughts. Btw, Luna is not a male. :)
 
Have any of you ever taken a psychology course???

Maybe my views are way to distinct. I give up, this is a tough crowd. I'm not wasting any more energy and time explaining this obvious solution to a stressed, lonesome mind. It might be due to the fact that I sound like a "know it all" thats making everyone so deffensive.

Well, later guys, I found something that worked for me and thought about sharing it to the world, but it seems that everyone is truly unique in their own way of thinking. I was always lonely since a little kid, never seemed to know why I was this way. Why it was so hard to meet people, I always felt like their was something that always seemed to block me from being so social like the rest of the world. Well, it seems that now that I'm more informed about life and educated better in the ways of the world, I found out that my "problem" was having an obsessively high sexual desire/drive. It was like a strong fog in my life, it sorrounded me constantly, influenced how I lived my life. But you would think that it would effect me in a positive way with how I interacted with other people like woman. How it would result in me being like a 'player' and such, oh how wrong I was. This desire was like a poison in my life, it led me to a bad life and it resulted in so much wrong decision in life.

Heck even painting artist follow a strict set of rules that allow them to dive even deeper into their minds to create such beautifull paintings from dreams that are hidden in their conscious. One of those rules is to deprive themselfs from sexual desire, why because this desire will fog the mind and will distract the mind from its true potential that it can be.

Thats it, whatever, I tried to explain myself (which I feel is a hard task for me) to try to uncover and reveal more this human setback, on how we can better ourself and become happier in our lives. I'm happy now, I was lonely, but I thank God for blessing me with this understanding. I tried to share it, oh well.

Thanks for reading, Take care.
 
We don't need to take any class to have our own opinions. Jedi is a male, and still doesn't agree with you. So, your biased against women thing doesn't work. I'm sorry that you can't seem to take that other people have different ideas than you. I'm sure there are some classes that can help with dealing with people and different opinions other than your own, and how you can't make everyone believe exactly what you do.
 
IVIZ said:
Our sexual desires is the main reason why I feel lonely. I have come to realise that I've been thinking all my life with the wrong head (pun intended). Its been my world all this time, it has influenced my decision making in a huge way over the years. I have avoided the wrong people because of it and have caused the wrong disillusion of the opposite sex to become something of a higher status. When I deny my sexual desire, I think different, I view the world differently, I behave differently, I don't feel lonely at all. I'm happy with myself and feel like I can be so much more creative and in control of my life without the influence of this stupid human desire getting in the way. Its the reason why I feel so alone, I say I want companionship, even someone who is just there for me or can have a sholder to cry on, but I know and so would everyone else say that BS! Its all about sexual satisfaction, and being stable with another is the best way of satisfying this desire, yes everyone knows it, that why we yearn for someone else. But this world is full of disapointment and nothing is for ever. So why not remove your desires???? Get rid of it, rid of the stress it creates, rid of the pointless need of constant gratification. I seem to find that I actually interact with the opposite sex way better, when I don't have my sexual desire (dick) on the controls of my behavior towards others. I even get way more deep with the person that I actually come to the topic of sexual acts with them. But I still don't allow my sexual desires to take ahold of my interactions. So it works to deny it, it works to feel more full of oneself, it works to talk to people more effectively without the desire jumping in and f**king everything up by doing the wrong desperate moves. I don't feel lonely, people seem to like me better, I have more fun, I'm more of a fun person towards others (which seems to be what other people like) and I'm don't give a bad upset appearance all the time, I'm more creative in my thinking, I'm more happier with myself, I'm more consentrated with life decisions, I'm more alive with my day to day tasks, I'm more aware of the things and people around me. I'm more everything! SEXUAL DESIRE IS A DRAWBACK!!!!

If you want to stop feeling lonely, deny this desire. Try it, I just wish I could remove it completely, IDK, remove my hormones or testicles (dare I say it). Well you do need it just when the time is right, (in the bedroom, where it ONLY belongs) I know I'm going to get flamed and bashed for this but who cares, I think I found a way or a path to actually changing my behavior and finding someone worth being with, without the stupid desire to be with this person, I can actually think better on how I'm going to be able to be with this person and just let my personality take over and let it to its thing, without my sexual desire influencing anything. But this is not just for being a better person with others, its also better for you. Removing your sexual desire, removes so much more negativity from you, which helps you be the person that you want to be.

Now this may not be the case with everyone, some have a low sexual desire while some have it on full throttle. I'm very close to full throttle, I think I might have been this way all my life and it has devistated the way I've chosen on how to live my life and the bad decision that I've made as growing up and has sadly resulted in a lonely world. Well thats enough of my rambling, goodluck guys. Yeah especially guys, this one is mostly for you, this desire is on high octane from very young with su males. GOOD LUCK!

I don't feel that one can "control" their desires. You can only exert control over your reaction to those desires. Yes, I know that's easier said than done, but once you learn to recognize certain situations and your reactions to them, you need to make better choices. I wish you much success.
 
I'm even more convinced it's a confusion over sexual desire and intimacy. You said you were lonely and the high sex drive made you sleep with loads of women? Yeah, that's a bang-on marker for affection/intimacy issues.

But it's difficult to separate everything out when you're the one in the middle of the maelstrom of motivations and desires and subconscious and conscious desires. But stick at it, if you've found what works for you - suppressing your sex drive, then hey go for it.

It's all individual in the end though, so don't get too disheartened/defensive if it doesn't work for everyone. kk?
 
IVIZ said:
Its all about sexual satisfaction, and being stable with another is the best way of satisfying this desire, yes everyone knows it, that why we yearn for someone else.

I disagree. I think most people yearn for a mate because they want someone to love.
 
eris said:
IVIZ said:
Its all about sexual satisfaction, and being stable with another is the best way of satisfying this desire, yes everyone knows it, that why we yearn for someone else.

I disagree. I think most people yearn for a mate because they want someone to love.

I think that's what he yearns for. Because if I did want to be with someone, it wouldn't be specifically for sex. I just think he's probably unhappy with how he views sex, and thought he would change everyone else in their views of it as well.
 
IVIZ said:
Have any of you ever taken a psychology course???

Wow... this is exactly what a college freshman would say in defending an argument.

Yes. I have taken several psychology courses (as well as a sociology/sexuality course) as a required part of my degree. And I still disagree with you. I guess that means I must have skipped the day when they talked about human sexuality, because apparently according to you, everyone HAS to agree when taught the same subject.

*rolls eyes*
 
If a man were to completely ignore his sexual needs, I think he would have to change the sheets a a lot ...




IVIZ - are you literally horny 24/7 ? even after orgasm ? Because only then can I understand how having thoughts of sex with a person controls every aspect of your relationship with them.

Don't you ever just think about how pretty their eyes are ?
 
Some stuff the OP said rang true to me, and I have been thinking about it for a long time; when I don't have any sexual urges (they can take a good chunk out of my day when I'm alone), I feel better because I can really do stuff and not feel guilty afterwards; I can have a conversation with a girl without being aroused, I don't waste time on mindless stuff and I think I see things clearer. I'm not just looking for sex anymore. Maybe the computer facilitates some of this, because I'm rarely aroused like this in public or with real people... Hopefully the computer hasn't made a too big irreversible mark on me.
In my case, I think it's a question of directing your sexuality properly, and I'm somewhat imbalanced. It might also be a bit about getting a "quick fix" and probably a lot about being confused.
All in all, I think it would be a great idea to have an off-switch for urges. Something you can turn on when it's appropriate, and not until then.
How do you know if it's the intimacy, the sexuality, or the company/a partner you're missing when you're feeling lonely?
 
Ok i'm hungry so i'm going to compare this to food.. hunger being like sex drive. It is "unhealthy" to be solely preoccupied with eating, but it's also unhealthy to never eat (anorexia). The healthy way would be to eat until your full and stop. But I understand not everyone can do that, hence fad diets. If this works for you, great.

One other thing, you said you are a man and only have the perspective of a man, and yet even though you've never felt a female's sexual desires you say, stubbornly and stupidly, that its harder for a man than a woman. As a ex hardcore porn addict and compulsive masturbator I take insult to that. Some people have low sex drives, some don't. It completely depends on the individual, not the sex.
 
I was looking into sexual desire and here I am.cool post man. I totally agree
With absolutely everything. I can relate. I can see why a lot of people would say this idea is dumb. Its not, and its the reason behind why a lot of men are ...lets get to the point. All men want pussy, if its clear you want to fresia THAT girl, and you are thinking lustful thoughts about her, you are finished before you even open your mouth. Peeipd. Unless you want a girl that sleeps aeound. Women don't want to be sex objects. And letting sexual desire take over is a failure. Period. I agree men AND women, remove or let go of sexual desire. Just stop wanting it, wanting puts you in a desperate frame.a place of lack, clouds your mind, yanks you out of the moment.

You women should understand this. That's why you didn't getdefensive. How do you enjoy the mid 40s cree,p that stares at you and wont stop? I see how you feel. Women do the same thing to me, but only the needy desperate ones. But that's all beside the point. I used to have a lot of lust as well, I used to see and treat women assex object. And I am handsome so I got it, but in the end, the girls hated me and despised me. I could.feel.it. Women aren't sex objects.

To the guys. I say do what. BRent smith says, let go of wanting. Stop wanting to get laid and so you can just enjoy women without any hidden motives. Good post. I would like to hear women point of view as to how you feel when you can sense a man wAnts to sleep with you and you can tell.
 
Whatever floats your boats..
Believe whatever you wanna believe or bought into....
It might help you to open up ur mind
about other bliefs systems or religions.

Some believe sexuality is very spiitual and being one with god...A man and a woman..uniting as one in the presence of god ...no guilt ..no shame...no fears
Just Love.
 

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