Do I make any sense?

[bish33]

So every day I come home from work and I sit around with my dog. I don't have any real friends. The guys I work with, we may go play golf once in a while, but that's it. I have such a hard time dealing with people. I just end up drinking until I don't care about being alone anymore. Then I go to sleep and do it all again. I have tried distracting myself with hobbies, working out and a few other things. Going to bars and things like that. I end up sitting there alone not talking with anyone. So that just depresses me even more.

I have only dated one women in about 7 or so years. Mostly by choice. I have a hard time finding someone that I can actually deal with. I end up either getting bored with them or we don't have enough in common.

Most of my problems I think I have put on myself as punishment. I don't know what I have done wrong, its just the way that I feel.


Trouble

 

[evanescencefan91]

a lot of us have similar problems we're all pretty scared of putting ourselves out there. I think sometimes we'd just rather not have any friends than risk losing them again.

anyways i hope you feel better *hugs*

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Alcohol is a depressent it's side effects are misery, insanities..etc.

I was there for a while at the end of my drinking career.
I never thought I'd drank alone becuase drinking to me was fun.
It progressively got worst. I didn't understood about alcoholism.
I was a functioning alcoholic. I had a job and made
good money. I was just an alcoholic with a job and money.

My perception of an alcoholic was a whino in a dark alley somewhere.

Anyway, I couldn't live like others do. I felt no one understood
me. I felt like a **** alien from another planet. Life was meaningless.
I felt like I had nothing in common with other human beings or
a freaken peg trying to fit into a round hole.

I got clean and sober @ 22. when most people that age where
going to bars and clubs. I had my fair share of fun and what not.

There was a fucken hole I felt inside of me. I didn't know WTF is
was. No mattter what did nor didn't do, I felt like a fish out of
water.

I can't tell you what to do and what not do...
I can't give you your answers...but I been there and don't that.
I know what you mean. I can relate. Yeah..man that crazy
self sabatage or punishment.

I love to get high or drunk as much as the next guy.
But I couldn't fill the emptiness i felt inside with drugs or alcohol.
No matter how numb I tried to get...it only took the pain away
for a while....Then oneday it just stopped working no matter
how messed up I got.

Obviously miss right or right now never came into my life or landed on my lap while i was
drinking myself to death.

 

[Chris 2]

I'm always depress 100% off the time for the last 10 years or so, yet i don't drink or do any drugs beside OTC. Is that weird?

 

[Caesium]

I'm always depress 100% off the time for the last 10 years or so, yet i don't drink or do any drugs beside OTC. Is that weird?

I've never taken any drugs either, and almost never drink. I wouldn't say that I am always depressed, maybe just 40-60% of the time. Watching movies, programming, listening to music, and playing games are all good stress relievers (and porn)

 

[samba101]

Hi Troubled Texan,

I know what you mean about drinking to occupy yourself I used to do that for a long time I'd say about 11 years, it was my way of coping without having a life full of friends, I had a few friends but not one I would confide in and we seemed to enjoy each other's company. Drinking offered something for me to enjoy and it may of not been the greatest thing to pick but I was happy for that time and I was a big drinker, now I've learnt to enjoy my own company without alcohol but I have family around me and don't feel loneliness like I used to. Yes having to fill your time in when your by yourself is a big thing to do well that's how I used to find it, I used to sit and watch the tv or play music if I wasn't drinking but reality was that I was downright lonely even though I was in a relationship and I'd been through all avenues of trying to find friends but didn't have the confidence to go out and do it. Monotony can only take you so far before you are driven up the wall. I'm glad that part of my life has past now.

 

[bish33]

samba101,

I thank you for your comments. Sadly I don't have family within 2000 miles of me. lol My drinking isn't every night. I do keep it on my days off. I did find out while dating a girl recently that while she and I were together. I could care less about drinking. I think due to her liking to drink all the time due to her issues, I decided to be the one that stayed sober most of the time. lol Unless we actually went out together, then I was the one that drank. Which wasn't that often. lol

 

[VanillaCreme]

I've never taken any drugs either, and almost never drink. I wouldn't say that I am always depressed, maybe just 40-60% of the time. Watching movies, programming, listening to music, and playing games are all good stress relievers (and porn)

I play games a lot too. I had stopped watching TV so much, but in the past week or so, I've started watching more again. But me watching TV is mainly to spend some time with my mom. We just sit and laugh at all the dumb crap they air now. Fun times.

But games are a good way to relieve stress... Just bludgeon something to death in a game, and you won't feel like doing it in real life. :>

 

[Black Dragon]

I too am harder on myself than I know I should be, because it makes me feel like a better person, but in the end it's just a vicious cycle.