Do we really move on?

[BrokenInside]

After all those promises to self, we do succeed, somewhat, to get by. We successfully suppress our feelings, the ache inside the heart. But then what... that one moment brings the pain back, refreshes everything in the mind and we find ourselves standing right there...at the starting point. Do we really move on?

 

[TheRealCallie]

Moving on is not about suppressing feelings, it's about accepting them as they are and not letting them bother you anymore.

By not moving on, you are living in the past. If you continue to live in the past, you won't have a future, you will just be repeating history over and over again.

Yes, you may think about the past from time to time and feel sad about it, but once you truly move on from it, it can't hurt you anymore.

 

[BeyondShy]

After all those promises to self, we do succeed, somewhat, to get by. We successfully suppress our feelings, the ache inside the heart. But then what... that one moment brings the pain back, refreshes everything in the mind and we find ourselves standing right there...at the starting point. Do we really move on?

My take is that you do move on and if you have to start over again you would be at a different starting point.

This is what I mean. Say you get into a relationship with someone. You are happy with it and it ends for whatever reason. Now you got to start over. While you are doing that you are not starting at the point you did before. You have more experiences with happiness, with pain, with love then you did before. So you are starting over and moving on with more experience.

 

[Mouse]

I've moved on alright, having since made my own rules of friendship by setting boundaries that I don't want crossed.

In future I don't want to be friends with someone who is not going to support me now I am in another happy relationship, and who is going to hurt me when they find out. The friends I've always had respect that, which is why they have remained with me. Those who have not, don't matter.

 

[Tiina63]

To me moving on means that there will be times when the pain from the past is as real and as heart breaking now as it was then, but that it isn't at the forefront of my mind the whole time any more. I can do other things and enjoy new friendships/relationships/ experiences.

 

[mickey]

I've found the exact opposite from the OP. As the past becomes more distant in time, the impact of remembering it decreases. It never goes away but it also never feels like it's still happening or just happened.