Do you do this/experience this?

[Oceanmist23]

Is there anyone here who would actually admit to stop sending PM's to someone just to see if they get a PM back from that person asking why they're not replying?

I've never done this myself, and I never will. And I certainly don't understand people who would do that.
Private messages are not a game. The fact that someone is PMing you should be proof enough that they care. You shouldn't have to test the friendship by suddenly not PMing someone anymore.

And another thing....

Who here has frequently experienced that people suddenly stop talking to them, even though everything was going well?
Are people getting bored? Fed up? Too depressed? I mean, what is it really?
I've been nothing but nice to everyone I've spoken to, but people just seem to stop communicating after a while.
Aren't I funny enough for them? Do I need to come up with hilarious punch lines in every message?
Or do I need to talk about something hugely depressing in order to catch their attention?

It annoys me, I don't understand it, and since this a FORUM for LONELY people and not some random chat room it would be nice if people actually told me straight out if they weren't interested in PMing any more.
It's better than not hearing anything from them suddenly.

 

[evanescencefan91]

ya i know what you mean that has happened to me a few times, i'll talk to people for a couple months but then i stop getting pms. It sucks. But it doesn't seem like they hate me, i guess they just get tired of pming.

But i promise i'll keep pming so long as i keep getting messages. I love reading your pms. It's a great feeling to log on and see that you have a new message. And you do have to send replys to get replys it's only fair.

Some people i guess maybe they're lives get better and maybe they meet people in the real world to spend time with.

anyways i promise i'll reply to your message sometime this weekend. Got some studying to do tognight

I hope you're feeling better

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Not recently. Not since I've been on this site. I return all my PMs.

In the pasted I used to never return any of my PMs simply it was becuase
I didn't know what to say and the internet was sort of new to me.
I've only used the PC for work or doing reserch..not so much for networking
or meeting people in the past.

Sometimes..I simply step away from using the PC period...So whatever
mails or PMs that were sent to me...obviously I didn't returned them.

I'd understand if a person got busy or decided there's more to life than the net.
I belive that's one of the reason for this site...is to help us live or cope in the real world.
I do understand that we can make friends on here. But I feel happier knowing a friend
a person I knew/know is happily living thier lives in the real world.

Sometimes on other sites...nothing to do with personal matters.
I'll get PMs asking for informations...I don't return them right away and
my replies aren't returned to me right away...simply it's becuase that site
dosn't have a lot of traffic. So i don't take it too personal.
I've met many poeple that's not too familar with the net or PC...in this day and age..belive it or not.

 

[Silvernight]

Well, I can answer only for myself, it may be not true in other cases. We had briefly exchanged PMs with one forum member and I was the one who did not reply to the last. Not because I didn't like something he said or wanted to test his patience. Firstly, I didn't really know what to say next and secondly, I just had lots of work piled onto me and had no excuse to sit and write letters when I had to be working. It was quite some time before I had more time and then it sort of seems too late to reply, know what I mean? Yeah, it's my fault, I do this sometimes. It's really absolutely nothing personal, and I feel guilty later that I failed to reply but it just seems too late for that. Also my work involves lots of sitting at the computer, so whenever I'm finally free, I often can't force myself to sit at it some more. This also caused problems in the past when I had online friends who loved many hour long online chatting, whereas I was starting to go nuts after the first half-an-hour. Online chatting in general requires lots of energy from me, especially lengthy chatting, it's like hard work, and I get headaches afterwards. Oh sorry, I'm digressing again.

And myself I experienced this too. I just assumed that people sort of exhausted the topic and didn't know what else to add.

 

[Gothmother]

If i pm someone and we talk thats cool.
If someone doesnt want to pm me back, then thats cool too.
BUT if they have a prob with me, id rather know about it then them fester and not talk at all.

 

[Satyr]

Is there anyone here who would actually admit to stop sending PM's to someone just to see if they get a PM back from that person asking why they're not replying?

Uhm...no.

I'm lucky to get private mail at all, so I always respond in kind.

Most people stop talking to me after my first reply anyway, once they realize I'm batshit crazy. I'm used to it.

 

[Phaedron]

When I message someone if they don't reply I leave them alone and figure they think I'm a nut.

 

[Oceanmist23]

evanescencefan - Thanks girl Don't worry, I'm not trying to hurry anyone to reply me. I'm very happy for your replies.
If people don't want to or feel they can't PM me any more all I ask for is a goodbye PM.

Lonesome Crow - Thanks for replying. I agree and understand that people can get busy or decide there's more to life than the net. There certainly is! However I think it's common politeness to spend 1 tiny minute to let a person know that they are unable to PM them any more, for whatever reason. I don't think I'm asking too much, considering how little it takes to do that. If someone sent me such a message I would completely understand them and be very grateful that they let me know.

But I feel happier knowing a friend
a person I knew/know is happily living thier lives in the real world

Exactly! But if they suddenly stop talking to me, how can I know they're doing better and not worse? That's why a final PM saying they can't talk anymore would be good and appreciated. It can be very short and to the point, no need for a whole essay explaining why.

Silvernight - Thanks for replying too.

It was quite some time before I had more time and then it sort of seems too late to reply, know what I mean? Yeah, it's my fault, I do this sometimes. It's really absolutely nothing personal, and I feel guilty later that I failed to reply but it just seems too late for that. Also my work involves lots of sitting at the computer, so whenever I'm finally free, I often can't force myself to sit at it some more.

I understand you would feel that way, though for me personally it's never too late to reply or receive a reply from someone. Better late than never, and if someone who I haven't heard from in months suddenly sent me a PM I would be very happy and appreciative.
Totally understand that once you're done with work on the computer you don't want to sit there anymore. I just feel that since the effort of a goodbye PM is so small, that it shouldn't be too hard to send one. But hey, that's my opinion

Gothmother - Thanks for the reply, I hear ya!

Satyr - Batshit crazy?? But... I like that lol

Catharsis - Hahahaha the thought has crossed my mind too!

 

[Sanal]

I reply to each n every pm but if i didnt reply its not coz i ignore nybody its coz ima lazy dork

 

[Oceanmist23]

LOL lazy Zak huh? *pets Zak and puts a ball of yarn in front of him* Bet you won't be so lazy now kitty!

 

[Steel]

Maybe they missed replying to one? I'm sure I have before

 

[Sanal]

i re teh lovez teh threadz. iz leik fudz. iz leik noodelz

 

[Oceanmist23]

Steel - That would be very unfortunate lol both people ending up annoyed or something

Zak - HAHAHAHA nooooooodelz!!!

 

[Sanal]

i re teh nawt gettin ny pmz

 

[delayed_relapse]

Is there anyone here who would actually admit to stop sending PM's to someone just to see if they get a PM back from that person asking why they're not replying?

I've never done this myself, and I never will. And I certainly don't understand people who would do that.
Private messages are not a game. The fact that someone is PMing you should be proof enough that they care. You shouldn't have to test the friendship by suddenly not PMing someone anymore.

And another thing....

Who here has frequently experienced that people suddenly stop talking to them, even though everything was going well?
Are people getting bored? Fed up? Too depressed? I mean, what is it really?
I've been nothing but nice to everyone I've spoken to, but people just seem to stop communicating after a while.
Aren't I funny enough for them? Do I need to come up with hilarious punch lines in every message?
Or do I need to talk about something hugely depressing in order to catch their attention?

It annoys me, I don't understand it, and since this a FORUM for LONELY people and not some random chat room it would be nice if people actually told me straight out if they weren't interested in PMing any more.
It's better than not hearing anything from them suddenly.

Interesting topic!
Actually, I HAVE done that (stop messaging someone), but it was because I had the honeysuckle end of the deal. I would send about 5 emails to this persons one, so it was very one sided. The worst is when you stop messaging them, and they don't even notice. Bummer, man.

And yes, I have had people suddenly quit talking to me when things were going well... actually it was the same person as in the above scenario. I only got the internet last year, and this person was the first person I met online (and almost the last, at least now I have this huge wall built up). I imagine that online people are just like that. They live fast, make friends fast, and then lose friendships just as quickly without even knowing. It makes no difference to them if they've hurt someone's feelings (if they even think about it at all), and if you were offended then it's your own fault for reading too much into it, amirite?

Probably not the same as everyone elses case, but its my theory.
I think its pretty **** gay, and shows shoddy ettiquette because we would (usually) never treat our IRL friends as bad, but online friends are just online... they're not real.
They're just there when no one else is around for entertainment.

 

[Silvernight]

I understand you would feel that way, though for me personally it's never too late to reply or receive a reply from someone. Better late than never, and if someone who I haven't heard from in months suddenly sent me a PM I would be very happy and appreciative.
Totally understand that once you're done with work on the computer you don't want to sit there anymore. I just feel that since the effort of a goodbye PM is so small, that it shouldn't be too hard to send one. But hey, that's my opinion
[/color]

Yeah, I should do that (send PM later). Though I sort of imagine myself like a jack from the box, who suddenly springs out at the most unexpected moment replying to the message that was received monts ago. I don't want to say goodbye simply because it's somehow finite and implies that I don't want to exchange PMs with you again, which is, of course, not true.

 

[samba101]

There is only one person I was late in pmming and by the time I did he had gone, it was just for the fact I didn't know what to say so I procrastinated, I was bummed out that that happened but found some other people to talk to.

 

[Oceanmist23]

Delayed_relapse, Silvernight and samba101, thanks all for sharing!

I think I will repeat a comment I made earlier.

"Since this a FORUM for LONELY people and not some random chat room it would be nice if people actually told me straight out if they weren't interested in PMing any more"

That's why I actually react. If I had met all these people in a chat room, emailed them for a while and they stopped, I wouldn't have cared much.

On this forum I had at least hoped people would have the courtesy to send me a goodbye PM or a "I'm taking some time off PMing people" PM.

Anyway, I needed to get it off my chest, and now it's off

 

[Sanal]

I wun pms

 

[itti]

i dont get much pm's !!!!
**** zak stealing all the girls !!! <3