Do you ever feel like if you say or do something, it'll come off as creepy?

[SophiaGrace]

I worry about that. ALL THE TIME. This is my inner dialogue.

"should i tell that person that shirt looks nice on them?"

"Noooooo i'd come off as a creepy ugly girl whose attention is unwanted."

"Should I IM that person?"

"Oh no, i'm going to be taken as creepy if i do that. It's too much. They JUST signed on. Ugh..."

Then i am constantly monitoring the facial expressions of people i talk to offline to try to gage their reactions to me as our conversation progresses.

 

[whispers]

You are such a smart person, you are funny, friendly ......but not creepy. Anyway i find that people who are easely creeped out are fearfull of people and of what people think of them. It has nothing to do with the other person... unless its serious stalking and obsessing.

Dont think you are like that

 

[The Good Citizen]

On line yes very much so but in real world situations, not so much as I can trust my intuition most of the time. Theres nothing wrong with monitoring facial expressions Sophia, better than just rabbiting on blindly unaware to whether the other person cares one way or the other, I think you have to do that really.

I think I should just have a disclaimer online *I DO NOT VIEW THIS SITE AS A DATING OPPORTUNITY AND HAVE NO INTEREST IN CULTIVATING A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE WHO LIVES SEVERAL THOUSAND MILES AWAY*. Then I wouldn't worry about being seen as creepy or an ulterior motive!

I just like to get to know people really but reticent to IM either gender as I'd feel like a pest in a "hey, lucky you, you're gonna be my new best friend" sort of way.

 

[Sci-Fi]

I'm more worried about saying something stupid that kills the conversation.

 

[MadMonkè]

Im worried I would say something unintentional that would reveal a deep dark secret and not be able to recover.

did I say too much?

 

[Tiina63]

I worry both about saying something which could be percieved as creepy and about saying somthing stupid. And I constantly analyse people's expressions too. So you are not alone in any of this. I think being lonely makes all of these sorts of thoughts more likely, as we want company etc but are scared of coming across as desperate, so we are very self conscious.

 

[Okiedokes]

I've said someone is pretty or if they kept saying they were ugly I'd say what I thought, which isn't "ugly".. and felt I gave off the creep vibe. It's not homosexual or anything to admit that some girls are pretty. So I keep it to myself and only give my opinion if I'm agreeing with a guy.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Hey sometimes girls are hot.

 

[Jack Tripper]

I do that all the time.......ironically it usually makes people think I'm stupid.......if there is a discussion going on.......I'll have something to add......but the "inner voice" usually says it's wrong and I'll make a fool of myself if I say it......so I just keep quiet.....and people assume I know nothing about the subject and am stupid.

Or if I want to call or IM somebody....I usually think.....no....they'll think I'm a nag if I keep IMing them everyday or call them so often.......I'll wait for them to call/ IM me.....but of course....they think I'm not interested in talking to them.....and so they don't call/IM much either.

It's funny.....in a non funny way.

 

[VanillaCreme]

No, because I'm not a creepy person.


Now, you want to get in my van? I got some popsicles.

 

[Jack Tripper]

No, because I'm not a creepy person.


Now, you want to get in my van? I got some popsicles.

I was told not to talk with strangers..........but I do want popsicles......hm......what shall I do.

 

[Astral_Punisher]

No, because I'm not a creepy person.


Now, you want to get in my van? I got some popsicles.

... My only weakness !

I think thinking your creepy only makes it true (Self-fulfilling prophecy).

If you are:
Confident,
Honest,
Dressed in clean, common clothes of not-black colour,
you're doing nearly all I can think of to not 'be creepy'.

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

I worry about that. ALL THE TIME. This is my inner dialogue.

"should i tell that person that shirt looks nice on them?"

"Noooooo i'd come off as a creepy ugly girl whose attention is unwanted."

"Should I IM that person?"

"Oh no, i'm going to be taken as creepy if i do that. It's too much. They JUST signed on. Ugh..."

Then i am constantly monitoring the facial expressions of people i talk to offline to try to gage their reactions to me as our conversation progresses.

I do this too.

Once there was a girl crying in front of me and I didn't hug her purely because I didn't think she'd appreciate that sort of attention from me...even though I really wanted to comfort her.

So she sort of looked at me for a while, I stared at the floor, then she hugged a nearby girl instead. I felt really heartless for that, but then I would have felt creepy if I'd hugged, so bleh.

And even if I'm fairly sure a person likes me, I still won't ever overtly compliment them because of the same thing.

I think it's a self-esteem issue - I just feel like people don't want me to be around them showing them attention, so I try to minimise my interaction with them.

 

[Anonymous Rex]

I worry about that. ALL THE TIME. This is my inner dialogue.

"should i tell that person that shirt looks nice on them?"

"Noooooo i'd come off as a creepy ugly girl whose attention is unwanted."

"Should I IM that person?"

"Oh no, i'm going to be taken as creepy if i do that. It's too much. They JUST signed on. Ugh..."

Then i am constantly monitoring the facial expressions of people i talk to offline to try to gage their reactions to me as our conversation progresses.

I do this too.

Once there was a girl crying in front of me and I didn't hug her purely because I didn't think she'd appreciate that sort of attention from me...even though I really wanted to comfort her.

So she sort of looked at me for a while, I stared at the floor, then she hugged a nearby girl instead. I felt really heartless for that, but then I would have felt creepy if I'd hugged, so bleh.

And even if I'm fairly sure a person likes me, I still won't ever overtly compliment them because of the same thing.

I think it's a self-esteem issue - I just feel like people don't want me to be around them showing them attention, so I try to minimise my interaction with them.

I'm like this all the time. I have an awful habit of thinking two or three steps ahead rather than just say what I want to say.

So I think that certain jokey things might offend some people, or might be perceived as flirtatious, so on.
I can remember, for instance, being at a sort of team bonding thing when a bunch of departments were coming together, one of the things was to, as a small team, think of bad chat up lines. I could think of a few, pretended not to be able to, in case others thought I might actually use these chat up lines.

Really stupid, I know... :club:

 

[passage]

I certainly say things that some people find creepy. But I don't really care what they think.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

Yeah... but then again people just have to look at me to be creeped out... so I am not sure if that counts or not.

 

[Lost for now]

I have to say in a conversation I spend more time thinking about what I should say or when should I say it instead of listening to the other person. If it's going slow I suddenly start to think that I'm boring them and if I'm talking too much I think of myself as being pushy and trying to seek attention.
And like you, I don't really know what's the solution. I do not have the need to please people but I wish I would not get intimidated by others so easily.

 

[Ak5]

You'll never know for sure unless you talk to the person.

 

[SophiaGrace]

I have the need to please people. I absolutey feel the need for people to like me.

 

[fox]

I am not really afraid to seem creepy. I very much seem harmless to people. But, I fear people will have a reaction... to wonder "why is that person talking to me?" Maybe this is similar by a little bit.