do you think making friends become more difficult as we age???

[kfccruelty]

I am a 39 yo female and I find it just seems to get more and more difficult to make friends as you get older. When I was younger I had a nice circle of people that I would hang out with and have game nights with and such. But it is just not so easy anymore. Not that it ever was all that easy for me. Due to a disability I have been unable to work for years, except for some part time/temporary jobs. This I feel has always caused a major road block for me in this area. I am also not married and have no kids which further sets me apart from others my age as well.
I was just wondering if others have found it difficult to make new friends as well as they got older and if so why do you think that is?
I also think adults can be so boring too...LOL

 

[Unacceptance]

Yes. In kindergarten it was like "HI, can I play" and blam, you had a new friend. by your teens, saying hi is "uncool."

 

[Caesium]

Of course! I am especially worried about what I'll do when I leave school. School gives me the opportunity to be around so many nice people. Even though I am shy and don't talk much, I crave the feeling of having people around me. After I am done with school, I'll probably spend the rest of my life in a small, grey and dark office, writing computer code. Then, when I retire, I'll spend my dying years in a damp, dingy, and decrepit flat in an old apartment block in a bad part of town. It will be at least 12 years before people realize I am dead and find my body. This is how I intend to get famous, kids all around the country will be like "omg wow did u hear about that guy who was dead in his room for 12 years!! grooosss!!".

 

[Brian]

I dunno. Maybe it depends on what sort of person you are.

I'm 21, but I've found I way prefer people in their late 20s or even 40s are better friends for me than people my age.

I don't like parties or bars or anything like that, though. Most young people are definitely rowdier than I am. Generally speaking, I'm pretty mellow.

 

[Red_Apple]

I find it easier making friends as a I get older because I'm more comfortable with who I am, and more confident of who I am to others.

 

[Minus]

I really don't know. At a younger age you have school and various things that keeps you around people rather then the isolated office and empty flat that Caesium foresees. As people get older they generally start their own family and may have less time for those outside the family. That would seem to make it easier for a single person to grow more isolated as they age. Yet as Red_Apple mentioned, some people seem to adapt with age. Some people just get better at integrating into the world around them.

 

[jjam]

I do, and making friends has never come easy for me.

 

[Bluey]

Yes. In kindergarten it was like "HI, can I play" and blam, you had a new friend. by your teens, saying hi is "uncool."

Agreed.

The thing is as true as that is I have found that with age you get confidence and saying Hi is no longer a big problem or uncool.

The problem is when your at school you have a mass of ppl you can be friends with all of similar age. when you get older this just no longer happens. So even though you do have moor confidence there is not as many ppl that you would wont as a friend. Finding ppl you have stuff in common with is moor of a problem.

And the thing with being the first person to say hi and it being uncool. well-its only as uncool as you make it. Hopefully you learn that sooner rather then later.

 

[Bluey]

Of course! I am especially worried about what I'll do when I leave school. School gives me the opportunity to be around so many nice people. Even though I am shy and don't talk much, I crave the feeling of having people around me. After I am done with school, I'll probably spend the rest of my life in a small, grey and dark office, writing computer code. Then, when I retire, I'll spend my dying years in a damp, dingy, and decrepit flat in an old apartment block in a bad part of town. It will be at least 12 years before people realize I am dead and find my body. This is how I intend to get famous, kids all around the country will be like "omg wow did u hear about that guy who was dead in his room for 12 years!! grooosss!!".

I can not imagine that you well end up in a damp, dingy, and decrepit flat in an old apartment block in a bad part of town. Computer programmers get paid fairly well you know Plus the beast way to save is to have no social life. I don't get a lot to live on but I do not have a problem with money as its easy to save when you have no one to go out and do stuff with. ppl say I am good with money. Not that true. OK I am but I would not have such nice things if I had moor friends. Get me. its the ppl that spend all there money on drink and constantly going out that end up in placers like that. Not ppl that constantly work cos they have nothing els to do.

 

[Satyr]

You mean as I slowly become a more twisted, evil, jaded, burned out shell of a thing as the years slowly and torturously pass?

No, I haven't noticed any problems.

 

[Steel]

Well, if you call friends "people you hang with", then I do think it gets harder as you age.. simply because many people, as they get older, get an increasing number of commitments through careers and children etc. Plus, some of them DO get boring LOL

 

[Bluey]

Well, if you call friends "people you hang with", then I do think it gets harder as you age.. simply because many people, as they get older, get an increasing number of commitments through careers and children etc.

This is true. I think hopefully when there commitments calm down a bit then ppl may start to wont to be moor sociable again. ppl that have young families are not normally very good ppl to be friends with. Not cos there bad but cos they have other commitments that are for moor inportront to them then me/you. I don't blame them, I would be the same.
Problem is I am 33 and most ppl in there 30s have young families. So no big surprise most of the friends I now make are in there 20s. ppl that don't have family yet.

Plus, some of them DO get boring LOL

LMAO, true some friendships just get dull with age. This has happend to me be for but only when I have spent to much time with a friend. I think balance is whats needed.

 

[Hope_Reigns]

I find it harder as I get older, but that could be because I've just gone through so much more crap and am rather disillusioned about it, so I hesitate to jump in like I would've years ago. It isn't that I don't want new friends, I really do.. I just don't want to go through anymore crap, back biting, fakeness..etc

I think it's baggage and life experience (kinda the same thing) that can make things harder the older you get.

 

[Twingle]

I think making friends does get harder as you age. Your "circle of friends" starts to dissolve (due to moving away, starting families, growing apart, ect) and you are left more and more alone.

Unless you like making friends with people at work (which usually isn't always the best idea, I've found through several bad experiences) or maybe church (if you're into that sort of thing). Then you have to deal withthe fact that those people already have established friends and it's hard to weasle time away from them (or you feel guilty about doing it). So there aren't really many options left for single people besides online, and then it's usually with people you'll never really meet, due to mileage restrictions.

Dating someone who has friends is good, but if you break up .. you usually also end up "breaking-up" with those friends as well, and if you don't the friendships don't last too long; because a lot of the time its kinda, socially awkward (not always, but a lot of the time).

So I guess what I'm getting at is .. it might not be "un-cool" to say hi when you get older .. it's kinda odd to just walk up to a group of people and say "hi".

Getting older sure isn't what I always thought it'd be cracked up to be lol.

 

[Sarahlone]

I am a 39 yo female and I find it just seems to get more and more difficult to make friends as you get older. When I was younger I had a nice circle of people that I would hang out with and have game nights with and such. But it is just not so easy anymore. Not that it ever was all that easy for me. Due to a disability I have been unable to work for years, except for some part time/temporary jobs. This I feel has always caused a major road block for me in this area. I am also not married and have no kids which further sets me apart from others my age as well.
I was just wondering if others have found it difficult to make new friends as well as they got older and if so why do you think that is?
I also think adults can be so boring too...LOL

It is more difficult to make friends because we are no longer with a huge group of potential friends (school) on a daily basis. Most people are around co-workers. That fact alone shortens the potential friends list. Next, people get married and have children; this takes them out of the potential friend loop because they don't have time. Temporary jobs do not give people enough time to make friendships that will sustain job changes, etc.

You are not making it up, it is harder for you to make friends. There are plenty of friends to be made here, including me!

 

[gyneco]

Well, if you call friends "people you hang with", then I do think it gets harder as you age.. simply because many people, as they get older, get an increasing number of commitments through careers and children etc. Plus, some of them DO get boring LOL

I thought if you don't hang out with them then they're just acquaintances.

Anyway. I've never been able to make any real friends in my life, so I don't know if it's supposed to be harder when you grow older or if it's just as hard as it's always been. People in college do seem friendlier than they were in high school, though. I guess if things don't work according to the plan and I remain friendless even after I graduate, I'd be hanging around the campus for a while and execute Plan B.

 

[breakthecycle]

Well I had problems getting friends since i was a little kid, so i guess my future doesn't look that bright.

 

[flylikeplanes]

I think it gets harder to make friends as i get older. It wasnt as awkward when you were younger to talk to someone randomly. Now people give you strange looks when you talk to them. Its annoying. Whats with the strange look, I was just trying to be nice!

but eh, people will be people I guess.