Do you want children? Why or why not?

[ledchick]

Well, I have 3 almost grown children and all 3 do not want children. It has been the happiest, saddest, funniest, best, worst, memorable, hurtful, lovable, hardest, easiest, most expansive experience of my life! I am glad I had children and by no means has it ever been easy. Being a parent keeps you in a constant state of flux. As your children grow so do you, it is a constantly evolving relationship. I am glad to say all my kids are wonderful, handfuls of emotions.
I do not however....like children! lol When I am around other peoples children it is quite irritating! Mostly because they do not PARENT! I think kids are horrible little creatures that smell, talk back and are overall just annoying! But I love my kids! So go figure!!![/b]

 

[Oodelally]

I laughed when I considered to this topic because a lot of this decision depends on whatever partner I ever end up with - and to be honest, she is going to go through the hard stuff more then me with them (well, at least with the first 9 months) and subsequent....erm....effects. Still, I'd see no problem at all (in fact i'd like to) have kids one day with someone special- providing the intent was their from both of us to look after 'it' (even if the poor thing turns out to be channeling the anti-[insert saviour of choice/random devil]). Would not make it a 'must have' in life though - I dont feel it will make me any less of a person if it never eventuates (finding the girl seems hard enough!).

On an interesting note the whole concept of babies dependence is fascinating: I remember watching an video in an old science class about babies being the 'perfect parasite', due to their natural ability to attach onto their host (parents) in a relationship that benefits them at the expense of the host. And throughout all of this is great duplicity from the body of the 'host' - it releases chemicals in a greater degree to when in love and facilitates a strong bond between parasite (baby) and host (parent).

Oh, and on parenting: there should be more then just a practical for being able to have kids. Maybe a theory.....oooh damnit imagination. now your making me think of people carrying baby-making licences.

 

[Nyktimos]

On an interesting note the whole concept of babies dependence is fascinating: I remember watching an video in an old science class about babies being the 'perfect parasite', due to their natural ability to attach onto their host (parents) in a relationship that benefits them at the expense of the host. And throughout all of this is great duplicity from the body of the 'host' - it releases chemicals in a greater degree to when in love and facilitates a strong bond between parasite (baby) and host (parent)

Lol! A friend once came up with that cliche about pregnant women having a 'glow' about them. I said they just remind me of the alien bursting out of John Hurt's chest.

 

[Brian]

I always thought babies were kinda creepy looking.

Everyone else thinks they're "So adorable!!" and "Sooooo cuuuuuute!". But may I point out the BULBOUS HEAD and EYEBALLS? Alien! Allliiieeeeen!!

 

[Estreen]

I want to have kids someday (although definitely not right now). I am traditional in a lot of the ways I think of things. It's just the natural order of things, the way I perceive it. I want someone to pass down advice to, a piece of me to carry on into the next generation, hopefully produce an offspring that will do great things for the community/humankind, and to have/experience that bond. No, I'm not looking forward to the labor pains or the screaming and crying and yelling and shouting and grounding and all of the tedious stuff...but in the end I think it'll be worth it.

Now, as for other people's kids....Mist, you just about described me perfectly. I've never been one to get excited or really care about other peoples' kids, as insensitive as it may sound to some, however, I believe that I'd only end up having that feeling for my own children. I look forward to having my own, but other than that, I really don't like being stuck with children. -.-; That's why it was hard when my best friend decided to have a baby...of course, things didn't work out with her then-husband, so...I ended up helping out...a lot. A lot of it was driving her and the baby around to appointments, but there were a bunch of times where I'd get stuck in the car with the baby whilst waiting for my best friend to do a work interview or something, and the kid would end up screaming her head off, to the point where I'd just finally get so frustrated that I'd yell once or twice then turn up the radio (not to ear-splitting level, just enough where it started to dull her screaming) and she'd eventually calm down. If it were my kid, then yes, I'd probably have more patience and try better but...it's not mine, and even though it's my best friend's...I just always felt like this unjust responsibility had been shoved onto me, so I eventually had to take some space away from my friend, although we've started hanging out again, every once in a while.

And Oodelally, yes, I think there should be some sort of "licensing" involved for many people... >_>

 

[luciddisconnect]

No, at least not at the moment.

I don't believe anyone should have children unless they can claim to have found genuine happiness in their lives.
I wouldn't be so cruel as to inflict childhood on anyone.
And my life's just not leading me in the direction of having kids.
I'll be lucky if I have some of my OWN issues worked out by the time I'm 40.

 

[x.Bree.x]

I definitely want to have children, even moreso than I want a partner, although it doesn't quite work that way (theoretically anyway). I'd like to own my own daycare one day, so it's clear I love children, whether they be my own or not. But yeah I definitely want to have children, and I really hope it works out that way

 

[fadingaway22]

No. I don't want to bring a child into this terrible world. Maybe I would change my mind if it was 50 years ago.

 

[SimizAkri]

I'm too afraid I will be a horrible mother, and even wife.
There is a history of epic failure parents in my family.
But-
"Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it."- Bill Cosby

 

[SimizAkri]

Oh.
& I'm not too excited about childbirth. ;P

 

[PieBeNice]

My plans are too make a private army of these "children things" and be all like lol I have a private army.

 

[Bodom]

Having kids is never something I've even considered. I never liked children/babies growing up, and I can't say that opinion has changed much now I'm an adult. I don't have any kind of loathing for them or anything like that, but I just prefer not to be around them. I have enough problems dealing with myself...let alone another needy individual.
The whole overpopulation argument is a big issue. The world's population is currently standing at around 6.9 billion people, and you can watch that number rising alarmingly, in real time. 6.9 billion is a big number... 6900000000...it's hard to imagine 6.9 billion of anything, let alone human beings. We are stripping our planet like locusts, with little or no thought to the future. Hell, when I think about world population and what we are doing to our planet, I struggle to justify my own existence, let alone another person.
I also couldn't see me and a child ever ending in happiness. I have anger issues, among other problems, and I don't think it would be fair to subject someone else to the whims of my emotions, especially someone who has no choice in the matter. My emotions are a real rollercoaster, and it's not an enjoyable enough ride that I would willingly invite anyone else onboard. For some people who are lonely/ depressed/ etc, a child to care for, someone to nurture, well be the exact thing that's needed to help them through...but for me, I feel that I would most likely end up hating the child and the things that it's care required from me. I don't want to bring up another traumatised person into this world, there are enough damaged people wandering around anyway.
That was a little deeper than I initially intended, but what the hell...

 

[Van Hooligan X]

honestly, aye wouldn't mind 1..would give me a chance to show he van can looks after responsiblitys, would mean i've shagged someone (h) thats always a plus, would mean i've achieved something perfect for once in my life and the best reason of all.


Van Hooligan Jr. (h) lol

 

[ledchick]

Ok I have officially changed my mind. I DO NOT WANT CHILDREN!!!!!
I told my 19 year old this weekend that I was going to charge him $25.00 a week for household expenses. Which is quite reasonable. He clears about $1000 a month and has only $200 a month in bills/expenses. He acted like I was asking for him to sever a limb and told me that I should learn to economize more before I ask him for money.
I don't think he realizes that he cannot live anywhere, well except the homeless shelter for $25.00 a week. So I have said repeatedly over this weekend that if I knew then what I know NOW, I probably would not have had children...NOW dont get me wrong, I do love my kids, but honeysuckle it is really hard to be a Mother!!!! Take heed all those with fertility on there minds or loins!

PS...this should be cross referenced to smacking children thread...because I certainly felt the need to smack when told that I should learn to economize more before requesting he contribute to the household....smack smack smack

 

[Silvernight]

I don't want them. Why? Quite a lot of reasons.
1. The process of pregnancy and birth absolutely turns me off. I really don't care whether anyone finds this shallow. This business simply isn't my sort of thing.
2. I never had any motherly feelings towards children. I don't dislike or have any other negative feelings towards them, I'm just not interested in them. At best, they may be sometimes fun to watch. From a distance. For a short period of time. But to be in close contact 24/7? Thanks a lot, I'm sure I can find plenty of more interesting things to do.
3. Poop, saliva and all that stuff No way I'm going to deal with that folks.
4. Children constrain one's freedom. Such as, for example, if I want to travel somewhere and I can't since I'd have to take a child and look after him all the time. No fun at all.

Now I'm sure that for someone who really loves and wants children all these reasons mean nothing. That's natural, if you desire something so much, you ain't gonna stop because of a few hurdles along the way. But I never wanted them, so these reasons are completely valid for me. If I ever had a partner who really wanted children, I'd probably propose adoption as a compromise. And take an older child. It makes more sense anyway. Why give birth to a new one when there's plenty of those who have no home and no parents already? A better choice in all respects imho.

 

[ChessGuy42]

I voted no, although that's not strictly the case. I don't want my own children. There's a lot of family traits, from both sides, which I wouldn't want to pass down to the next generation... the most serious of which is hereditary hemochromatosis. Also.. I'm not fond of kids who are younger than six or seven.

I'd be open to dating a woman who already has children that aren't too young or adopting, if I were in a stable relationship.

 

[fern]

I have such an intense phobia of medical things (blood, surgery, hospitals etc.) that I don't think I could go though the whole process of pregnancy and giving birth. Also, I've never felt that need to have kids that women always talk about. I think I could be happy just being an Aunt.

 

[Flood]

I voted maybe, since adoption might be an option. But I worry if I had a son he could have to deal with some of the same demons I did and still do. I would feel guilty and weary of having to witness some of that familiar pain. I would be less scared to raise a daughter. I figure I would give her love and attention and let the mom handle any delicate issues. A seemingly oblivious supportive dad (kinda like my own).

 

[Haven]

I think I'd make a great dad I love kids to raise one in a better then I was raised is a goal of mine.

 

[The Depressed Shmoo]

I don't know if there's an old thread with this same question, but I'll ask. How many of you want children, and why do you want them? If you don't want them, why not?

I'm gonna go with don't want, and my reasons will be, diapers and poop, and diapers with poop in them.

next...

The reason I don't want kids - if you go to a party and it's really crap would you call your friends and tell them to come over? To me, life is a party that really sucks and I wouldn't want to be responsible for making someone else endure it too.