does anyone else have trust issues?

[Walley]

if you can't trust people, then you are letting the wrong people into your lives...
if we look underneath it all, the issue really is our own expectations.
you cannot be let down if you have no expectations.
I trust people. pretty much everyone I know. I just try not to expect anything from them.
if anything.. I expect to be let down. and trust that most people will.

 

[perfanoff]

if you can't trust people, then you are letting the wrong people into your lives...
if we look underneath it all, the issue really is our own expectations.
you cannot be let down if you have no expectations.
I trust people. pretty much everyone I know. I just try not to expect anything from them.
if anything.. I expect to be let down. and trust that most people will.

This is anti-trust.

 

[Dissident]

I don't trust people to behave in rational and undramatic ways.

 

[WallflowerGirl83]

I find it hard to trust most people, but there's a few who I can trust.

 

[Ignis]

I used to feel the same when I was younger, had a lot of "friends" who would steal things, manipulate me and use me for my stuff and then throw me away.
I felt at that point that I couldn't trust anyone with just about anything in my life. I shut myself off from everything and kept to myself.

As I started to meet people who were genuine about me, I kinda started to trust people again. I'm now at the point where I believe I have every reason to trust someone until they give me a reason not to.
Trying to believe humans aren't inherently evil and don't only look out for numero uno. Can be a bit of a funny thing and sometimes I don't even believe it myself.

If the whole world is your enemy, how are you ever meant to make friends? How are you meant to progress or succeed in whatever it is you want to do?
You NEED friends to get where you need to go. Or at the very least, you need connections or associates. Which means at the very least you need to be on good terms.

Give and take, that's how relationships work, and that's how friendships work.
Sometimes you have to give something to a friend, time out of your day to listen to a hardship, labor if they're moving houses or they bought a new piece of furniture or a TV, sometimes you even need to lend a friend some money if they're in a bit of a bad place financially.
These are all things we have that we can offer, but equally they're all things others can offer us. In a friendship we can give without expecting anything in return and vice versa.

So I can see where both sides are coming from, I can see how you could not trust anyone, see everyone with a dagger behind their back.. Ready to betray you.
Equally though, I can see that while every may have that dagger behind their back, not all of them intend on stabbing you with it.

 

[Gutted]

Quite the story. I don't think anything bad of you. You clearly have reasons to feel the way you do. I myself find it hard to trust people. You have to prove your worthiness if you want me to trust you. Once I do, I'll have no problem with you and trust.

One thing we HAVE to do if we want good things in our lives, is give things a chance. People, opportunities, games. Whatever it is, we really have to give it a chance. Else we'll have these types of problems forever.

 

[Huld]

Various betrayals and experiences have left me detached in most relationships and unable to fully reveal myself. I panic the moment I get to close, throwing up walls and sometimes even running. Every action and motive is dissected, as well as tested. There are still days I don't trust myself to speak, but things have been getting better. I'm trying.

I got lucky and managed to meet someone who was hurting just as much as me. I could count on them and it lead to trust. The only thing I had to do was reach out. There are still real people out there worth the effort, we just have to meet them. It's terrifying advice I know, but worked for me.

As you get older, it's hard not to become cynical about people in general and see the advantages of keeping polite distance from everyone. Sounds like a sad philosophy I know.
And lucky for me too, that I have a partner I can 100% trust.

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But I trust ALL you guys and gals 100%:shy::shy:

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It's not a sad philosophy at all, but practical.

 

[Jocsaint]

I really truly hate people sometimes for the stupid things they do. They do things that they don't realize can have, or already has, severe repercussions. I know how you feel about thinking people always have an agenda. It comes from socializing with the wrong kind of people or surrounding yourself with people that are manipulative. My advice is to get to be a better judge of character, but that's easier said than done.

 

[mintymint]

Trust is essentially an assumption that another person will act a certain way or act according to a certain standard. However, it's often said that relying on assumptions is not prudent, and life often shows that to be true. You can't accurately forecast with 100% certainty how a person will act in a situation unless, perhaps, you have actually seen them react to that situation before. No one can guarantee how that person will act, even that person themselves. And sometimes people act a certain way even though they don't want to. Maybe they weren't thinking, were confused, couldn't avoid it for some reason. So what do you do? Do you choose to make a differentiation, and perhaps trust their intentions, leaving a some wiggle room to tolerate what they actually did? I don't know.

Let's say I have a loving partner, and we have a daughter between us. I trust my partner deeply, and have unyielding faith in them. But if you asked me to wager my daughter's life on the fact that my partner would never cheat, I would never do that. Rationally, I know the statistics, and when there's something that important and irreplaceable at stake there's no room for debate. It's a no-brainer. And yet, I still trust and love my partner absolutely, so why wouldn't I be able to make this wager? It certainly can be a bizarre intersection of rationality and emotion. Perhaps that just goes to show that you can have trust, but also be aware of its subjectivity in a larger context. I don't know.

Trust is a leap of faith; that is why it is so powerful. Letting ourselves feel vulnerable in the hands of someone else we trust is a very important part of human bonding, and of close knit relationships. I guess our emotional identities need that piece of irrationality. I don't know. But I think your life will probably be a lot worse if you don't allow trust into it. Oh, and yes, I have trust issues. So I just don't know!

 

[ladyforsaken]

Trust is a leap of faith; that is why it is so powerful. Letting ourselves feel vulnerable in the hands of someone else we trust is a very important part of human bonding, and of close knit relationships. I guess our emotional identities need that piece of irrationality. I don't know. But I think your life will probably be a lot worse if you don't allow trust into it. Oh, and yes, I have trust issues. So I just don't know!

Omg the bolded - exactly.