Guess it's been said 100 times before, but simply put here's the breakdown in rankings.
1. Interesting nice guy guy with sense of humor, is outgoing and does fun things and physical activities
2. *******, mean guy, ********* type who treats her like honeysuckle. Good looking and does fun things.
3. Lonely "nice guy" who just wants to be with her, but is unattractive and boring.
This is the order and preference for women. Hell look at it, it should be that way for guys as well. Does it look that unreasonable? The "nice guys" women want are #1 on that list, *that* is what they are talking about. They don't always get it because lets face it, for some odd reason they are few, far, in between and probably already taken. They *are not* talking about number 3 when they say they want a nice guy and that is where the confusion comes in because the assumption is that being interesting and attractive enough to at least arouse you is something so basic that it should just be a given without having to list it. They don't say "I want a fun, and interesting nice guy!" because you'd be a retard not to assume the first two are already wanted.
The reason why "nice guy" isn't assumed and has to be specifically itemized is because there are plenty of guys out there who meet the first criteria but not the nice guy part. So naturally it seems as if it's as rare as the super power known as "common sense" that it needs to be listed as a desired trait so as not to confuse people who do not have this quality.
So what do you do what #1 isn't available? Same thing anyone else would do. Go with #2. Make no mistake, an interesting ********* is always better to be around than a nice guy who will bore the fresia out of you. As you get older your definition of a fun time generally starts to change to that which those in group #3 find as a fun time, so the prioritization on the list switches #2 and #3 around. Seriously though, this discussion and similar types of it come up all the time all over the place and people are so surprised to hear that this is the answer. Did I really say anything just now that no one has heard before ad nauseum?
Anyway moving back to the OP's post, to reiterate in the most blunt unforgiving terms what he said and what's on the tip of many guys minds is this: "Why do I only get to be with you when you've got a ton of baggage and are reaching the waning end of your life? Why wasn't I allowed to be with you during your carefree youthful years, where we could experience the joys of being together with just us and raising our own family from scratch? I missed a large part of your life, years that we would have greatly enjoyed together and would have compounded with the memories we had to make me love you even more during our later years."
(Disclaimer the above is not my point of view but my perception of what the OP was trying to say)
I don't really have an answer to that beyond the obvious and ugly truth. You weren't desirable. You didn't have qualities she wanted back then but you have ones she wants now. The part where a guy can feel slighted is that you might feel that you deserved the youthful attractive fun years of her life and now have to clean up her mess. Though people generally tip toe around the issue, especially when calling children that she might love very much a "mess"
Again for the love of God, these are not my views. I have no views on this. Hell I don't even know what the fresia I want for a woman. I'm just trying to throw everyones thoughts on the issue on the table in the bluntest possible terms we can understand.
