Ever wonder why girls always chose meatheaded jerks?

[Code S.O.L]

You know the type I'm talking about. The loudmouthed frat boys that always shout before they think. With their bronzed skin, six packed abs, and biceps the height of my coffee mug. In the past year that my sister and her friends have dragged my sorry ass out clubbing with them, I've watched as these tossers constantly garner the attention of the fairer sex, whilst I retain the status of a ninja in a de-motivator pic. One of 20 that you can't see.

I feel even worse because I know the answer to this riddle, and why there's nothing I can do about it morally. Supposedly the testosterone these guys are packing produce pheremones so strong, it erodes the willpower of females without them even knowing it. Considering how easily I back away from conflicts, I know **** well where my testosterone levels are.

So then..... what can be done? I suppose I could take testosterone enhancers of some form, but in doing that, I'd lose myself in the process, and end up becoming one of 'them'(or most likely, one of those jerks on xbox live who sends raegmail everytime he loses). If nothing else, I'm true to who I am out of principle. So becoming something else just to increase my chances with the fairer sex is emotionally, morally, and mentally wrong.

No.... there's nothing that can be done. I should feel alittle better for knowing abit about the science behind it, but I actually feel worse knowing that pure scientific fact is against me. Oh well, at least I got this thought train off of my chest.

 

[geeky_loser]

This has nothing do to with testosterone or biology. Hardly a true scientific fact, evolutionary psychology is still a very young and very fringe science.

Meatheads, as you so put it, get the girls because they look tough and confident. You could to if you worked out, face or anything else doesn't really factor into attractiveness much when you have a chiseled body.
Now why is toughness and confidence attractive? Because our society deems it so. We came to associate these traits with success so now they make people high-status. Basically being one of those "meatheads" is perceived as taking yourself seriously, maintaining a good appearance and having drive to better yourself.

You have tons of examples of different societies where for instance, fat chicks were considered attractive. In the old days in the West, pale men with bellies were considered attractive. Why? It meant they have food and didn't have to toil in the sun.

What this means for you, is that you can either accept the norm of your society, or you can choose to not be mainstream. Clubs aren't the only place to meet girls. There are tons of different subcultures. If you're skinny and sort of ugly, get skinny jeans, old flannel and grandpa glasses. Grow a beard and a be a hipster. Actually hipsters pretty much prove the whole theory about pheromones is bunk. Look at them. Do they look like pheromone emitting alpha males? Yet they still get laid more than you do.

 

[Merieth]

hey, dont worry too much SOL! there are girls just like you out there. I'm one of those kinds of girls who sits in the corner and never gets noticed by anyone because im not loud or dressed in skimpy clothes like all the other ones. seriously, it's annoying when i see a bunch of girls with their chest exposed and wearing really tight pants strutting around like they are some kind of priceless artifact or something ... they look so cheap.

just keep your eyes open, there are shy girls out there too

sometimes I feel like shy guys dont exist but they are here on the internet! I only wish I could find them IRL

good luck to you! dont change yourself, you seem great how you are!

 

[Nitramici]

I think your view on the subject is skewed. Yea, sure, cocky, confident guys seem to get all the girls to you...while you're clubbing. And that's the problem. No one is gonna bother to get to know you better in the span of one night and be like "wow! you're totally better than that confident, loud, good-looking guy!" If you're clubbing, you better be loud and confident, I'd guess. (not that I'd know, I don't like these places).

On the other hand, I know so many intellectual skinny type that have been in long-lasting relationship that I'm pretty sure the stereotype is flat out untrue.

 

[SofiasMami]

Hi-
Well I'm a girl out there dating and I don't go for meathead types. Those are the ones I weed out immediately.

Teresa

 

[Badjedidude]

Personality and confidence are what win the day. The reason that many "meatheads" happen to snag women so easily is because many women mistake loudness for confidence. It's as simple as that.

And hey... why shouldn't confidence be a little loud and brash? If you're OK with who you are and you feel like you're successful and doing well in the world... then yeah, women will want to be around you more than someone who sulks quietly in the corner.

*shrug*

There's nothing wrong with being EITHER type of person, as there are so many different types of women... some like the loud, "meathead" type, and some don't.

 

[trZ]

Girls like guys who are secure, confident, enjoyable to be with etc etc etc.

One of the biggest flaws I see in some of my friends is that they are too desperate. This shows in so many ways, for example that they pay more interest in the lives of their GF (or girl they are hunting) than their own. Also, it becomes very apparent when they meet girls that they jump on the opportunity FAST, this is also a big turn off, I think.

The reason these jerks are getting all the attention is obviously first and foremost because of looks, and what does looks mean? Society tells these guys that since they look good, they are kings and they can act as they feel like because they get girls anyways. This is true. But, the most attractive guys for girls to have in a relationship would be someone who are real, not desperate, and confident. Atleast I think so. Obviously, people are different and this goes for girls too. So, different people have different preferences, but what I'm saying here I think goes for very many people.

All this testostorone you're coming with here... That doesn't matter. And you don't need to change yourself, I think you need to change the view about yourself.

Lastly, what many people with low self esteem seem to do is that they never take initiative. And when you don't take initiative, NOTHING will happen. Ever. No matter how great you are, if you don't take initiative to talk to girls, you're doomed from the get go. Also, if you do talk to a girl, you need to seal the deal i.e ask for her number, if you don't how the hell is she supposed to know that you are even slightly interested? If you make it obvious that you are interested via the conversation, you risk coming off as desperate, and if you follow this up with not asking about her number, you have qualified for the friend zone already.

 

[Badjedidude]

Lastly, what many people with low self esteem seem to do is that they never take initiative. And when you don't take initiative, NOTHING will happen. Ever. No matter how great you are, if you don't take initiative to talk to girls, you're doomed from the get go. Also, if you do talk to a girl, you need to seal the deal i.e ask for her number, if you don't how the hell is she supposed to know that you are even slightly interested? If you make it obvious that you are interested via the conversation, you risk coming off as desperate, and if you follow this up with not asking about her number, you have qualified for the friend zone already.

I agree.

I see too many guys complaining about not getting girls, but they never put forth the effort to actually pursue women or show definite interest in them.

Too many guys these days seem to think they should just be able to sit back and have women magically come to them... and never have to experience rejection even once. But that's not very realistic. Even the most handsome guys get rejected (no joke). You just gotta KEEP ******* TRYING and eventually you will get a girl.

 

[trZ]

If you're rich, handsome and famous, you might get through life without getting rejected. You MIGHT.

 

[Tramp]

I see what you guys are saying about confidence and all, but see, I have a different problem. I don't have any issues getting into relationships or even getting girls interested in me. The only problem is that they get bored with me pretty fast. Most of the time they'll get close to me at first either because they are rebounding or because there's not much else going on in their lives. So they will be very interested in me for a while, but once the initial sparks wear off (let's say after a couple of months), they start distancing themselves until it doesn't matter any more. Or they just dump me.

At this point, when I get close to a girl, I actually want it to last. I'm not looking for anything, but once I get into it I do want it to evolve into a relationship. I try to make sure that the initial sparks never wear off and try to constantly put effort into making it work without being pushy or creeping them out. I do give them a LOT of space and am OK with pretty much anything except for when somebody cheats on me.

Then again, I must be doing something wrong because most of the time things just get to a point where they just don't seem to want to see me any more. It sucks.

 

[trZ]

Tramp, I suggest trying to be somewhat of a challenge, even when you're in the relationship. If you run, they can either chase or give up. Most girls will chase. Thing is, if you are too available, too nice, too emotional.. girls get bored quickly.

This might not go for your situation but its pretty normal that people do this mistake. OH yeah and by the way, maybe you should try not being OK with anything? The most important thing is to have a backbone, and be the MAN of the relationship at all times.

 

[Tramp]

trZ, maybe some of those things do apply to me.

As for being OK with anything, what I meant was that I'm flexible in many cases and don't mind giving her the space she needs, but I see what you're saying. I guess it's all about striking the right balance between, well, having a back bone and being invasive. I was a pretty angry guy back in the days lol and that didn't work too well for me, so I guess I might just have taken that as a hint to move to the other end of the spectrum, which I guess isn't working out too well either.

 

[trZ]

In all honesty, its about being REAL. If you just smile and says sure to anything, she knows you're just doing it to please her, and even though that might be appreciated in some situations, girls don't want to be with a pushover. No one is ok with everything. Obviously you shouldn't go around being an angry jerk, but I do think you should be honest and point out things you're not OK with.

 

[VanillaCreme]

You know the type I'm talking about. The loudmouthed frat boys that always shout before they think. With their bronzed skin, six packed abs, and biceps the height of my coffee mug.

That's exactly the kind of guy I can't stand.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Errr..wtf??? Do you guys/gals even go to clubs? The last time I check...
The music is louds..plenty of people migling. Alcohol N whatever other mind altering
subtance involved..People have to talk loud just from the music.lol
Most people are just there to have a good time and just hang out. In other words socialize.

True plenty of valid pionts...but I was never loud, cuase a seen or a jerk.
Yes confidence..those other dudes in the room are just other dudes to me.
My ego is bigger than 20 dudes. I'm a lead guitar player.hahahaaaaaaa
I'm cool with them. They're cool with me. Ultimately we all know its really up to the women.
Plenty of women approched me, asked me out..take me home or whatever...after many guys
hitted up on them...Yes when opportunity knocks. you better take action...you still gotta
have balls, repore..get her number, make body contact or pull her hair when she tells ya.hahahaaaa

Cock blocking yourself...is a NO..NO.

Women like guys like me becuase I'm a challenge.. they'll put me through
the paces or crap loads of honeysuckle test. I'm still a gentalman to the ladies.
Too busied living life to worry about if I'm doing it the wrong way.
Yes..I'm in shape. I dress accordingly. Clean N smell good.
Yes been rejected, stood up, heart broken, played.
Heres the other thing...I don't attract stockers...I create stockers.
I give the ladies more credit. In other words I respect them.
I'll also play the game too...they want me to. It turns them on
and it's also about building a relationship and working through whatever
dramma she'll put me through and still wanting to be with her.
You dont know what a relationship is..until you had break up sex.hahaahaaaa
At the sametime..being confidence as I am...I'll show women the value of lost.
I'll love you forever if you dont break my heart...
At the sametime u have another thing coming if you belive I've been cured from the " I'll show you ***** syndrom".lol
Chasing women is great...but you also give them a chance to have the thrill of the hunt too
or chase you. Plus you gatta do a little bit of reserch N doing practicing of turing a women
on or getting her to have multiple orgasim.

I have 4 women chasing me at the moment. I'm single. I'm playing. I"m dating.
Not ready to settle down. Options are open. I'm pretty sure there's other men
in thier lives or I'm on thier possiable list. I dont need to ask them or judge them.
I'm an adult...we're all adults. 3 out of 4 of these women knows I see other women or dating and they still call me.
The other 1...I'm pretty sure she has a general idea. She's not stupid.

Yeah being real or being yourself...

Maybe it's not really you or the women you been hitting on.
Try hitting up on women that wants to settle down and get into a long term relationship.

Econamics also plays into the equation...it's securties. Women look for securities
of one form or another.

 

[TheWickedOne]

Hey, guess what? You know why girls choose meatheaded jerks? Because those meatheaded jerks actually have the balls to ask the girls out. They don't hang around them, hoping that "love" will grow out of friendship because they're so afraid of rejection that they would never ask out a woman if you put a gun to their head, and then they get angry when the woman dates the guy who actually says, hey, wanna go out sometime?

 

[Code S.O.L]

Ho boy, did I open up a can of worms, or what? :/

Well, what can I say? A while ago, I happened upon a featured youtube link which explained how pheremones worked, and in my moment of insecurity, went on a mad goose chase of google searches that conjured up this train of thought. I apologise if I offended anyone.

A few people mentioned that people such as myself with low self-esteem never take the initiative. Sums me up in a nutshell. And with good reason. I mean, my sister and her friends drag me drag me along to these big intimidating places. I struggle sometimes to keep conversation a group of people I know. Trying to strike up a conversation with a strange girl is a disaster waiting to happen.

But, as you guys say. Clubbing isn't the only place to meet people, right? Problem is though, is that these outtings are the only time I spend with other people IRL. Any other time I'm out, I'm either running personal errands, or job searching. I very much doubt I'll click with someone when my mind's focused on a particular game, or how I present myself when handing up a resume.

I don't mean to sound arrogant, but I'm 24 without even having been on a single date. And trying to find the answer to why that is gets alittle frustrating at times.

 

[Merieth]

I know what you mean, I've never been on a date either.. but really, you seem like a really nice guy.

I can guarantee you there are some girls out there who will love you for who you are... I know it's tough, I don't really believe what I just said (about myself) but I guess sometimes I just have to go with the flow and hope things work out.

I dunno what to tell ya honestly.. but please don't think you are not a likable person! you seem really nice -- there are lots of girls out there who like shy guys!

guys who talk too much or act like they are the best are just annoying to me.. I prefer the quiet guys, but they are hard to find, since im a quiet girl and we're all hiding in a corner somewhere lol

still, I guess just keep an eye out, you might spot a girl who has something in common with you. I've been thinking of joining some kinda club for gamers so I might be able to meet some guys who are the same as me!

dont give up

 

[Code S.O.L]

I know what you mean, I've never been on a date either.. but really, you seem like a really nice guy.

I can guarantee you there are some girls out there who will love you for who you are... I know it's tough, I don't really believe what I just said (about myself) but I guess sometimes I just have to go with the flow and hope things work out.

I dunno what to tell ya honestly.. but please don't think you are not a likable person! you seem really nice -- there are lots of girls out there who like shy guys!

guys who talk too much or act like they are the best are just annoying to me.. I prefer the quiet guys, but they are hard to find, since im a quiet girl and we're all hiding in a corner somewhere lol

still, I guess just keep an eye out, you might spot a girl who has something in common with you. I've been thinking of joining some kinda club for gamers so I might be able to meet some guys who are the same as me!

dont give up

As comforting as your words are, I often wonder about these things. Maybe I am a nice person, but without the self confidence to trumpet it, no one will know.

On that note, I always hear people telling me that 'chicks digg confidence'. How do you obtain this 'confidence'? People make it sound as easy as clicking a finger, but honestly can't see how that works. I mean, if it's case of starting off slow, then I'm pretty sure I've done that, since I can hold my own in a one on one or small group conversation. Is there something I've missed along the way maybe?

 

[trZ]

I really think your number one issue is asking for the number. When you're in a situation where it is fitting to ask for a number, and you see someone you would like to ask for the number, you go up, exchange some words, ask for her number, if you get it, great, if not duduuu whatever! Never take girls personally

THEN you can start being confident and all that jazz.