Evilness?

[Brian]

I pretty regularly have the urge to mob over pedestrians in my car or beat the honeysuckle out of people I see at college and kick them in the teeth, but it's nothing I'd act on...I'm just spiteful

You could masturbate furiously with black metal blasting in the background. haha.

Pro Tip: If you have an apartment to yourself, this is a way better idea than it might sound like. Trust me on this.

 

[Infexis]

I use to feel like this a lot we can't really control what we feel, the important thing is that we do not act on this anger

what is the source of this anger or feelings of hatred is it loneliness? Envy of people who have friends?

In highschool i developed this severe hatred and disgust from people with big fluffy hair, mainly becuase i was lonely and there was this dousch ass freshmen with seriously 2 feet in diamiter of hair, and so everyone was like omg you have such flfuuy hair, and he's like i know look how cool and indie I am with my big hair. So my feelings of envy have developed into a deep seated hatred of people with big hair, i also hate loud people with a passion. I would be in the library alone over lunch and groups of friends would hang out and talk really loudly while having a good time distracting me and reminding me of how lonely I was

in 8th grade i had a vendetta against the human race, being unloyal ass holes polluting the planet i thought everyone should be wiped out

ya fun times sorry my point is, that when we are feeling lonely or feel like our lives are sucking we sometimes start to feel anger to other people, it's not uncommon, you could try talking with a conslur or start a blog to rant about them listen to heavy metal and draw with a lot of red colored pencil, you can work out hit things ( not people)

till you become too tired to be really angry

life sucks a lot but we'll make it through

*hugs*

by the way i saw your about 14 going on 15 awww I was 14 too when i had my first existential crisis, aw memories life sucks at that age and my parents had gotten a divorce

after a couple years you'll probably feel a bit more mellow

hang in there

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by the way since we're talking about serial killers and such who was the guy that made furniture and honeysuckle from his victims?

oh ya it was ed gein that guy was psycho, actually the movie psycho is based after him

---

*hugs*

I'll share something I came up with in 4th grade.

Friends are disposable. You don't need them.

I myself am pretty good with people. The few people that actually know me thinks I'm "great" and "nice" xP If I want friends, I get some. But I don't. I mean, why friends in the first place? Only to use them. If you feel bad, talk with them. No money? Borrow some from yer friends. I could go on but I trust you get the point. Heh, evanescencefan91, I've got some fond memories too.

My parents also got divorced. Not too long ago actually. Nice to get away from the screaming for a while. And I've tried everything you said. None of them worked out that well. Heh, irony. My counselor quit her job a week after our 4th session. Just as I started to trust her a bit.
\\ Infexis

BTW, loud people sucks monkey scrotum.

 

[Brian]

I'll share something I came up with in 4th grade.

Friends are disposable. You don't need them.

I myself am pretty good with people. The few people that actually know me thinks I'm "great" and "nice" xP If I want friends, I get some. But I don't. I mean, why friends in the first place? Only to use them. If you feel bad, talk with them. No money? Borrow some from yer friends.

Sounds like words of wisdom from a kid who's never faced any real problems or had experience in the real world. Like the little 16 year olds who run around dressed as thugs pretending to be gangsters...right after asking mom for their lunch money.

Friends get each other through 110 degree workdays even though you know your next paycheck is gonna be scant, and your crew just got mobbed by bees, and the chipper just broke down, and the boss just threw his chainsaw down the hill because someone forgot to get gas that morning and nothing else is going right.

Friends push you to talk to the girl at the counter in Taco Bell, even if they have to make fun of you to get you to do it, because after all is said and done they don't like seeing you alone all the time.

Friends ***** with you when the boss is being an ass.

Friends are the ones you want with you on the hoseline when all you see is a dull orange glow and you can't hear anything but a loud, roaring crackle. And when you wind up deploying your fire shelter on top of some god-forsaken ridge, and the flame front's passing over, it's friends that talk eachother through it and keep eachother from throwing that shelter off in a panic.

Friends invite you to dinner on holidays because they know you have family problems, and you help them in return because they're worth it.

Friends are there when you are intimately close to the death of a brother and you'd otherwise wind up with PTSD.

The problem with users is that in undertakings of any consequence, or among worthwhile circles, they get ousted and shut out in the cold. And if you're as bad as, say, my ex-brother-in-law, you get people like me watching you for the right opportunity to fresia you over should conditions be right. Honestly, if I knew I could get away with it (or didn't stand to lose so much), he probably wouldn't be around anymore. If I ever come down with terminal illness, or if we both happen to be alone at the right time and place...well, I don't want to implicate myself.

But I can't really blame you per se, because chances are you are in all actuality, a sociopath... and our modern, politically correct society says you need/deserve help. You pretty much fit the textbook profile by the way you talk.

 

[Badjedidude]

^Holy honeysuckle, if I could clap over the internet, you'd be getting a standing ovation, Brian. Damned well said, man.

 

[Brian]

Thank you, thank you. I'll be playing all week.

 

[SophiaGrace]

You should try going to another counselor.

I too have told myself that "people are disposible". Last semester I told myself that when dating guys. People DO always tell you "there are plenty of other fish in the sea". As though they actually ENCOURAGE you to think that people are disposible when you are dating. I never used anyone though. I was just very emotionally aloof and still am to certain degrees from fear of being hurt. And honestly, I've seen so many friends come and go that it's hard for me to get excited when meeting new people now.

People are disposible. You meet a really cute guy and he dissapears, 4 months later there is another cute one. I honeysuckle you not. You meet an amazing new best friend and guess what? 7 months later, there's another great person.

Is this justification to hurt people? No. I dont see it as justification to harm/use people. I really dont understand what "using" is all about. I try to care about the people I come in contact with and honestly harming them would make me hurt inside too.
When you hurt/harm other it turns them against you and you make enemies (you know, the people that make sure that your life is hell). Besides, no matter how much you feel one person looks alike to another person, doesnt mean that you are an island unto yourself.

"no man is an island unto himself. When the bell tolls, it tolls for thee." - John Donne.

 

[Danielle]

Infexis, if you are serious about the feelings you have, and if you have even entertained the thought of putting something into action... then i suggest you get some help immediately. These thoughts of seriously hurting people are not normal.

Sure there are times Id love to punch someone in the face... or tell them they suck.... but that is totally different from what you are describing.

If you are serious, then you need to get some help now. It's really not a joke.

 

[Drama]

Perhaps people didn't give you enough reason to love them but it's not a reason to fantasize on killing them. Do you want someone to think the same thing? how they can kill you with joy? how they can just ignore you and throw you after usng you like garbage? You have to treat people the way you want to be treated...