Fantasizing as a coping mechanism for loneliness

[dirta]

Maladaptive daydreaming. I have had it since I can remember myself.

 

[Gerardo]

I do fantasize sometimes, thinking of what I'd like to do or say. Since most times they end up in disappointment in real life, I try to keep my mind occupied.

 

[hewhowalksalone]

One danger with fantasizing is that we imagine other people saying things that we would want them to say - in my case, this has often led me to being disappointed.

 

[ardour]

It gets to the point where you need some real life experience to draw upon for it to remain interesting, and at this stage it's hard to imagine an interaction with women where I don't come off as some anxiety ridden creep. I can't even fantasize about being socially competent now, since I have no idea how couples talk or behave behind closed doors.

 

[hewhowalksalone]

At least in the fantasy world you don't have to worry about coming of as a creep or anything.

 

[sriguhan]

I fantasize regularly about my friends I am no longer in contact with...
It's mostly sexual, but sometimes it's just about us doing the things I wish we had done...
It snaps me out of melancholy from time to time, though it does get worse later on. It's a vicious cycle

 

[DanL53]

!!!!MY GOD!!!!

I will answer YES and...limit myself to this - I could EASILY write 10 movie scripts that would amaze the most prolific Hollywood writer!  My whole life is a fantasy!

100% This.  I've been doing it for years.  And I agree, and believe this Know One, about astonishing Hollywood writers.  Because unless I miss my guess these imaginations must be so in depth and creative as too allow us to fool ourselves into thinking about them instead of our real lives.

But for me, at least, if I try to write them down (and I have been published so I know I can write) if I try to write down THESE thoughts, I bend my brain in painful ways causing worse anxiety than I can handle.

LOL, one of my favorites is the gent who in three parts leads a life in a science fiction story that leads to him leading a colonization of a new world....just to leave again because there are too many people around.  Let me just say, after seeing the results of one of his impatient Lieutenants who goes hunting when tired of waiting for various meats to pass tests before consuming.  Never shoot a Banger!  Twenty or even thirty more will respond to the attack like a gang.  They may appear odd, like a ground flounder.  Mistaken first name as they spend almost all their time attached to tree bark.  But those little mouths add up and if it takes an hour or more they will nip at you until your last breath!

Painful Gang Bangers, or just, Bangers.  They glide or scamper from tree to tree on a distant planet until the day I die...and then no more, not even in my thoughts.

 

[Neena21]

I'm wondering if anybody else here fantasize about having friends/romance?

I tend to have this inner (and, if I'm alone, outer) monologue going.  If I'm watching something on TV or playing a video game, or if I'm making a decision or mulling something over. I would imagine having a conversation in my head. It's almost as though my inner voice manifests itself as an imaginary friend.

Anybody else do this?

Absolutely. It makes sense. I do it alot. I fantasise that I am a movie star and i see myself in programmes that I like to watch. I also fantasise alot about being married, having kids. Years ago i used to fantasise about hanging out with wealthy people and being wealthy.

Over the years my fantasies have changed.

 

[Jakotae]

These days I fantasize about what I want my life to be like. It comes down to wanting to be accepted by a a few close friends (I don't want or need a lot of friends), understanding each other and just doing things together from time to time. I also fantasize about what my ideal partner would be like and how we would spend time together.

 

[humourless]

I fantasise about being on another forum.

 

[Ecclesiastes]

Maladaptive daydreaming. I have had it since I can remember myself.

Yep. I have this. Since childhood. Hasn't stopped. Sometimes it's so extreme that I physically act out scenes from fantasies or mouth dialogue. Not in public, of course, though in private.

Portuguese poet Fernando Pessoa did the same thing. He talks about it often in The Book of Disquiet.

 

[humourless]

Sometimes i dream
that one day
everyone
will be
Christian

 

[Winter Fire]

Has anyone tried to stop this? I want to know what to do to solve this problem.

 

[Richard_39]

Well...sadly I've been fantasizing about my boss recently. I don't mean the sexual kind either. I never expected to ever meet a girl like her. Hell, she's not even my type of girl, but goddamn it, there's just...something about her.
I'm trying real hard to pretend there's nothing there and since she's taken, I wonder. Sometimes...what she does...I wonder.
Best not dwell on it. I really don't need this garbage right now.

 

[Slick]

I do occasionally....but I stop when I think of what experts say all the time. "You won't meet anyone sitting on your couch" I 100% agree with this...I have lost my best friends from childhood, my husband, only sister...all to death very young...so I am alone except two of my daughters, I lost my middle daughter when she was 21...so now I know I won't meet anyone sitting on my couch...but during a pandemic where do I go? there are no groups, nothing happening, and I have to go everywhere alone which is a smaller problem then having no where to go.....what do you do with that?

 

[Sebiguess]

I'm wondering if anybody else here fantasize about having friends/romance?

I tend to have this inner (and, if I'm alone, outer) monologue going. If I'm watching something on TV or playing a video game, or if I'm making a decision or mulling something over. I would imagine having a conversation in my head. It's almost as though my inner voice manifests itself as an imaginary friend.

Anybody else do this?

All the time.

 

[JJW]

I don't think there is an unhealthy fantasy. Be it escape or coping it allows virtual conclusion of issues troubling us. It can be unhealthy to act fantasies out. If you have a secret table surrounded by manikins... don't invite me to dinner.

What goes on in someones mind only becomes problematic when it bleeds into reality. If a fantasy overtakes someone and they reject society in favor of it, that qualifies as bleeding into reality. If your fantasy effects anyone else then, short of them wanting to be involved, that's a problem.

Without the abillity to fantasize we'd have no break from loneliness. I think we'd go mad.

 

[Winter Fire]

I don't think there is an unhealthy fantasy. Be it escape or coping it allows virtual conclusion of issues troubling us.

Without the abillity to fantasize we'd have no break from loneliness. I think we'd go mad.

Maladaptive daydreaming is an addiction and I just want to get rid of that mental fog. I got rid of it in the past and it changed my life drastically. I was dating with a guy I wasn't attracted to but I wasn't aware of it. There were many things I wasn't aware of myself and my life. Also, I wasn't productive and motivated before that. When you stop it, you begin to move mountains. Now I'm trying to start being mindful again. I hope I can do it.

 

[drawnPRISON]

YEah i do, its very bad. i have delusions of grandour, being interviewed by people, like The King of comedy or walter midi. agh, gotta focus, oncce you have a fantasy going, it rolls out beyond control. gotta let the pain and pressure of reality keep me grounded