Feeling so worthless

[Fvantom]

Ive so rarely ever had somebody truly care about me, it kills me knowing how little I mean to people, these last few weeks Ive just been feeling like an empty ghost, it feels like all my emotions are shut down, all except for pain of course. Its been over a year since anyone told me they loved me (and actually meant it) everyone tells me to love myself but how can I when nobody else does? It only gets worse when I see people who are surrounded ny friends who love them....seeing that shouldnt fill me with pain, but thats all I feel...

Im sorry if this sounded emo and depressing...its just been a really bad week =/

 

[Vagrant Legacy]

How to love yourself when nobody else does. It's difficult, but not impossible. You don't just start to "love" yourself right away, first try and see if you can at least "respect" yourself for who you are. Work your way up from there. I'm hardly a prime example, as it's taken me the majority of the past few years to even get close to respecting myself, but it's a start nevertheless

As for the "seeing friends who are surrounded by people who love them" - I think you're perhaps making conclusions a bit too fast here. As you undoubtedly know, being loved doesn't just happen, and a lot of interhuman relationships are just as shallow as they could possibly be - how sure are you that these people are "genuinely" loved? For all you know, it might just be another shallow thing that they like to act out to hide that they might just as well be as lonely as you.

Don't overestimate the amount of love in this society. Some are genuinely loved, but the way in which most people act towards each other is a masquerade - in truth, they couldn't care less. (And no, I'm not trying to project my negative view of humanity here, these are simple and observable facts)

 

[thalassa]

I hear you and I also recognize a lot of these feelings.

It is really hard to love yourself and to feel fine when you are emotionally starved and feel as if you have been denied love and caring for so long - that's the case for me too. I don't feel right with myself.

I'm sure there are lots of things that are good and likeable about you. Don't give up on the idea that things can get better and things can change (I'm not there yet and I'm 24, but if we lose hope what do we have left?).

 

[Lost Drifter]

I know that ghost feeling all too well, it makes you feel like your emotions have shut down and your body is running on auto-pilot, just going through the motions without actually feeling or embracing anything. I’ve been running like that for some years so it’s become the norm, not that I wanted it to, but you can’t help feeling like that small insignificant cog stuck behind a patchwork of gears.

First up stop comparing yourself to others; you’ll forever sell yourself short (a human nature) even when you have no genuine reason to. I also find that taking time out to reward yourself helps, from eating a hot chocolate muffin or going to a movie to just cutting back on the self-criticism and negative thoughts, do something good for yourself once and awhile. It may not replace the love you yearn for it but it helps in making you feel more human.

 

[Ak5]

Ive so rarely ever had somebody truly care about me, it kills me knowing how little I mean to people, these last few weeks Ive just been feeling like an empty ghost, it feels like all my emotions are shut down, all except for pain of course. Its been over a year since anyone told me they loved me (and actually meant it) everyone tells me to love myself but how can I when nobody else does? It only gets worse when I see people who are surrounded ny friends who love them....seeing that shouldnt fill me with pain, but thats all I feel...

Im sorry if this sounded emo and depressing...its just been a really bad week =/

Yeah, you feel numb and you ponder if you'll ever feel happy. Dude, I can completely relate; pain is the only thing you feel day-in and day-out. It's scary, you want to be happy but for a long time in your life, all you've felt is pain and loneliness.

Get out there and meet some girls. Or wait until you start Univ., see one you like and date her! Yeah, I know, simpler said than done lol. And I don't really think friends "love" each other lol; they're there to be together and have fun, that's it, I hope lol.

 

[Fvantom]

All I want is for someone to say "hey, I know what youve been through and Im here to help" for all it to end, Im only 21, it seems like I have time left, but so many people have known their friends for years, but Im just getting started, Im always the new guy.

People say not to compare yourself to others, but I cant help it, what am I supposed to do, accept that other people are happy and Im not?

 

[Ak5]

Yeah I get it, I can't help comparing myself to others, it kills me as well.

We're fighting it lol.

 

[Equinox]

I know how you feel, Fvantom. I know exactly how you feel.

 

[cumulus.james]

Ive so rarely ever had somebody truly care about me, it kills me knowing how little I mean to people, these last few weeks Ive just been feeling like an empty ghost, it feels like all my emotions are shut down, all except for pain of course. Its been over a year since anyone told me they loved me (and actually meant it) everyone tells me to love myself but how can I when nobody else does? It only gets worse when I see people who are surrounded ny friends who love them....seeing that shouldnt fill me with pain, but thats all I feel...

Im sorry if this sounded emo and depressing...its just been a really bad week =/

You have a good point. People are always telling people they have to love themselves and all that bollocks. But Think of Love as energy, energy can not be created or destroyed merely transferred I believe the same thing with love. And I mean all forms of love and affection, friendship and family and all that. You would have to have to already have a supply of "love energy" to use on yourself, if you have never been in receipt of "love energy" or received too little then you wont have any to give to yourself.

Its like saying you have to give yourself a wage rise in order to get one from your boss. Its silliness. You will never feel good about yourself until others contribute to building you up.

 

[shells]

Loving yourself is pretty important. Giving others the power to build you up, only gives them the power to destroy you as well.

The future for me is pretty bleak. Deep down I genuinely feel like I don't deserve to be happy or loved. Maybe it's because being miserable is most comfortable; as dysfunctional and destructive as it is, it feels like "home". Letting go of that also means taking risks of being hurt. Instead of licking my wounds from previous blows and moving on, I'd rather just let them fester.

I don't know. My brain power is so low right now -- failing to explain things very well

 

[Chasm]

All I want is for someone to say "hey, I know what youve been through and Im here to help" for all it to end, Im only 21, it seems like I have time left, but so many people have known their friends for years, but Im just getting started, Im always the new guy.

People say not to compare yourself to others, but I cant help it, what am I supposed to do, accept that other people are happy and Im not?

****
i know wut u mean

 

[cumulus.james]

All I want is for someone to say "hey, I know what youve been through and Im here to help" for all it to end, Im only 21, it seems like I have time left, but so many people have known their friends for years, but Im just getting started, Im always the new guy.

People say not to compare yourself to others, but I cant help it, what am I supposed to do, accept that other people are happy and Im not?

I have to say be careful about thinking you have loads of time. I though exactly that when I was 21 and right though until I was 28 or so, but things never changed then I hit 30 and realised it is probably too late now.

I think if you have the attitude that there is lots of time to change things it can mean that things never change. Like the old saying 'tomorrow never comes'.

You can make positive changes and improve your life but DO IT NOW! Don't end up like me. I should also point out that the older you get the less people are interested in you so it gets harder and harder year on year.