Friends And Friendships

[SilentThinker]

I tot it would be good to write some views on friendships and friends.Of course,I am no expert myself.

Here goes...

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The Two Cs needed in relationships
Communication
Common Interest

Do well in communication.
Be a good listener.
Engage in conversations.
Talk what others want to talk, not what you want to talk.

Common interest
It is easy to connect to people who have the same interests as you.
It is easy to talk to:
People who played company of heroes because you played it and you are interested
People who played soccer because you played it and you are interested


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Social Gathering Tips
The Number One Question:
What is the topic that they are going to talk?
The Number Two Question:
What is the topic they are interested in talking?

In a group, a common topic is divided into major and minor.
Major-Focused topics by the group
Minor-Not Focused topics by the group

Major topics change times to times and it needed to be observed.
One common trend differs from day to day.
Common interests are often talked about.
Example: Soccer. People who played soccer wanted to talk about it after they played it.

Minor topics are normally comes from one’s desire to speak its own interests but not relating to other’s interest.
Example: I played dota and I just wanted to talk about it.



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Interaction In the group
One of the good thermometers that you are doing well in a group is to create an interaction network.

Are they engaging with the topic you raised?
Are you engaging with the topic they raised?

Think in terms of the answers they given.(Interest level in answering question and raising topic.)

After you drew the network, ask yourself why and how it can be improved.

Also remember to check the interest level in engaging topic with you and you to him.

Here a rough indicator that I created. It is useful for me though it is not yet complete. xP
For individual:
Closeness + Sameness
For group:
Extrovertedness + Closeness + Sameness

Sameness can be the personality (you and the person you are engaging) and the common interest (Strong or weak.)
Why is it not complete?
What if the person is not happy with you? Will the interaction be the same?
Therefore the condition of the person also need to be considered.

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[SilentThinker]

Here a good resource of views on friendship.

http://www.infed.org/biblio/friendship.htm

The above link is quite interesting as it shows friendship can be based on:
utility
pleasure
goodness

I forget where did I get the relationship model.

1st Level-Facade Level
2nd Level-Acquaintance
3rd Level-Friend
4th Level-Close Friend
5th Level-Married Couple

I wonder is there any resources that talked about this but I would try to give my own interpretion.

Facade Level and acquaintance are normally people you know or not know who have no common interest with you.They may also do not hold much interest having a conversation with you.

They either talked to you because you talked to them,
They can give you one word answer.

Friend and close friend is determined by the acceptance and the treatment of oneself and the other person.
For example,there is two persons:Lily and Bermuda

Lily accept and treat Bermuda as a close friend
Bermuda also accept and treat Lily as a close friend

If there is not any acceptance or treatment from one parties,it becomes an one way relationship.

Pardon me as this is my first time doing it.xP