Getting mixed signal... What should I do?

[SighX99]

So, this girl and I have become "friends" with in class. Somehow we always end up in the same group for projects. Anyways, she is very flirty with me, touching my hands, teasing me, getting really close to me and whispering to me. She even tried to give me her phone number when I didn't ask for it.

We started texting, and right then she added me on facebook. turns out, the page has couple of pictures of her and her boyfriend. Her boyfriend's profile even has more of those... but her relationship status is not indicated.

sigh... I just don't know what to do. At first, I really thought she was single. Now, she added me on facebook, all I can think about is what she is trying to do. I am getting confusing and mixed signals. she is beautiful, classy, smart, artistic and we have similar interests. I am kind of slowly crushing on her, which isn't good. I don't think she is into me. Maybe she is, idk. I asked her out, and she said yes without hesitation. this was before I started texting her a lot and finding her facebook page.

arg I dont know what to do. I need to find out FOR SURE if she was taken or not, before I really start becoming attached. WHY THE HELL WOULD SHE LEAD ME ON?? **** it. I just need to find out. any opinions?

 

[Outcast]

I've experienced the same thing and its pretty irritating. The pictures may be old, so I would just be honest and ask her whether she's single or not. Chances are if you make enough small talk with her she will eventually bring him up anyway. If she has a boyfriend then it sounds like trouble, who's to say that if you later became her boyfriend she wouldn't be just as flirty with some other guy?

 

[DeadSun]

Just ask her if she's single, if she want's to know why you're asking then just bring up the pictures of her boyfriend. It's not weird for you to bring up the pictures because she added you on Facebook and she has them up for friends and/or the public to see. And finding out if someone's single is kind of important if you're trying to date them.

Hopefully like outcast said, it's just a misunderstanding and they're old pictures she left up or something. If she says she is in a relationship then stop going out with her and flirting and everything unless she's willing to break up with him, and only pick things up again after she breaks up with him.

 

[Nicolelt]

I wouldn't really say you are getting mixed signals, unless she is unaware that you asked her out on a date, and thought it was just a friend thing. It sounds like she is kinda in to you. I would guess the fact she only has a few pics of a boyfriend (2 or 3) and he has a more than that (where she has untagged herself) that he isn't a boyfriend anymore. I still have pictures of my exes, but that is because they were prom, pics with friends, usual places, etc. And I agree with the above. Just ask, and if she is with a guy, she should be respectful to that guy and you and be honest. If she is with another guy, don't let yourself become "the other man".

 

[GirlwithCuriousHair]

I'd definitely just ask her whether she's seeing somebody or not. From what you've put she does sound into you. Are they recent pictures?

 

[Triple Bogey]

So, this girl and I have become "friends" with in class. Somehow we always end up in the same group for projects. Anyways, she is very flirty with me, touching my hands, teasing me, getting really close to me and whispering to me. She even tried to give me her phone number when I didn't ask for it.

We started texting, and right then she added me on facebook. turns out, the page has couple of pictures of her and her boyfriend. Her boyfriend's profile even has more of those... but her relationship status is not indicated.

sigh... I just don't know what to do. At first, I really thought she was single. Now, she added me on facebook, all I can think about is what she is trying to do. I am getting confusing and mixed signals. she is beautiful, classy, smart, artistic and we have similar interests. I am kind of slowly crushing on her, which isn't good. I don't think she is into me. Maybe she is, idk. I asked her out, and she said yes without hesitation. this was before I started texting her a lot and finding her facebook page.

arg I dont know what to do. I need to find out FOR SURE if she was taken or not, before I really start becoming attached. WHY THE HELL WOULD SHE LEAD ME ON?? **** it. I just need to find out. any opinions?

how do you know this bloke is her boyfriend ?
Could be some random bloke.
Adding someone on facebook means sod all really.
If you want to ask her out then do it quickly. Get it out of your system.

Good luck !

 

[SighX99]

I know that guy was/is her boyfriend because of her life events section, it said they became a couple. So for sure he was her boyfriend. Most pictures of them are all from last year. None of them are from 2014. We are supposed to work on research papers this weekend. I might ask her after. I hope she likes me because she is really awesome.

I dont want to be friendzoned though. But i also want to be careful. I got really hurt in my last relationship because I let my guard down and put everythin into it realy fast. When my ex left me I was shattered and devastated.

Anything I should or should not do so I dont get friendzoned?

 

[sk66rc]

She just might be a very friendly, physical person... I've known a few... She may not realize she's leading you on... You know, there's always that "benefit of doubt"... As far as facebook goes, I never posted my "relationship status" even when I was in a relationship... I always thought it was a personal thing that I didn't really need to share with the world out there... People in my "friends list" knew I was in a relationship anyway so I didn't feel the need to & it's wasn't like I was hiding anything from anyone... I guess just like others said, only way to find out for sure is to ask her, of course in your own way... And I don't think being "friendzoned" is entirely up to you... You can do everything there's to do & at the end of the day, she might just decide she likes you as a friend... I'm not trying to shoot your hopes down... I'm just saying, realistically, that's a possibility... For what's worth, I think if you like her that much, I think it's worth the risk of getting hurt at the end... You know the old saying, "Does end justify the means?" If you can answer it yes or no, I guess you'll get the answer...

 

[Nicolelt]

I know that guy was/is her boyfriend because of her life events section, it said they became a couple. So for sure he was her boyfriend. Most pictures of them are all from last year. None of them are from 2014. We are supposed to work on research papers this weekend. I might ask her after. I hope she likes me because she is really awesome.

I dont want to be friendzoned though. But i also want to be careful. I got really hurt in my last relationship because I let my guard down and put everythin into it realy fast. When my ex left me I was shattered and devastated.

Anything I should or should not do so I dont get friendzoned?

Being friend zoned sucks, I wish I knew how to tell you how not to get that way. The only way is to be upfront about your feelings, and if hers aren't the same, you might just have to move on.

That's what happened to me with the last guy I was into. He wanted to be friends, I didn't, I had to stop talking to him to not get hurt anymore. It sucked because I lost a friend, but I needed to do it for my mental sanity.

 

[SighX99]

She just might be a very friendly, physical person... I've known a few... She may not realize she's leading you on... You know, there's always that "benefit of doubt"... As far as facebook goes, I never posted my "relationship status" even when I was in a relationship... I always thought it was a personal thing that I didn't really need to share with the world out there... People in my "friends list" knew I was in a relationship anyway so I didn't feel the need to & it's wasn't like I was hiding anything from anyone... I guess just like others said, only way to find out for sure is to ask her, of course in your own way... And I don't think being "friendzoned" is entirely up to you... You can do everything there's to do & at the end of the day, she might just decide she likes you as a friend... I'm not trying to shoot your hopes down... I'm just saying, realistically, that's a possibility... For what's worth, I think if you like her that much, I think it's worth the risk of getting hurt at the end... You know the old saying, "Does end justify the means?" If you can answer it yes or no, I guess you'll get the answer...

great advice! I am trying to not get my hopes up... I think I am just gonna be straight with her and ask. and I wish someone would've told me that "being in the friendzone is not entirely up to you". It's true and I shouldnt be hard on myself if it turns out that way. so thanks.

I am starting to think that she probably just wants to be friends... It's just my guess. Maybe she is just busy. But it is last weeks of school so everyone is insanely busy. I asked her to go out couple of times. Not really asking her out, but just throwing ideas to her. She seems really receptive but tells me shes really busy and cant do anything until school is almost over except working on our research papers together. so my hope is not up...

I have another question tho, if she really likes me, would she go out of her way to go out with me? to text me like crazy? she has been kinda cold to me this week. I think she was just flirting with me to see if shes still got it. obviously she does. once I shown my interest she got what she wants, I'm nobody again. It's just one of my many theories about her... arg I seriously think too much about this.

 

[jaguarundi]

It's just one of my many theories about her... arg I seriously think too much about this.

Yes. You do. Less thinking, more ACTUALLY asking her out, not just throwing out ideas.

It's one date, not a fecking lifetime commitment on either of your sides. That's what a dating is about - getting to know someone a bit more, checking each other out, seeing how you mesh as a couple. Gradually......

 

[sk66rc]

She just might be a very friendly, physical person... I've known a few... She may not realize she's leading you on... You know, there's always that "benefit of doubt"... As far as facebook goes, I never posted my "relationship status" even when I was in a relationship... I always thought it was a personal thing that I didn't really need to share with the world out there... People in my "friends list" knew I was in a relationship anyway so I didn't feel the need to & it's wasn't like I was hiding anything from anyone... I guess just like others said, only way to find out for sure is to ask her, of course in your own way... And I don't think being "friendzoned" is entirely up to you... You can do everything there's to do & at the end of the day, she might just decide she likes you as a friend... I'm not trying to shoot your hopes down... I'm just saying, realistically, that's a possibility... For what's worth, I think if you like her that much, I think it's worth the risk of getting hurt at the end... You know the old saying, "Does end justify the means?" If you can answer it yes or no, I guess you'll get the answer...

great advice! I am trying to not get my hopes up... I think I am just gonna be straight with her and ask. and I wish someone would've told me that "being in the friendzone is not entirely up to you". It's true and I shouldnt be hard on myself if it turns out that way. so thanks.

I am starting to think that she probably just wants to be friends... It's just my guess. Maybe she is just busy. But it is last weeks of school so everyone is insanely busy. I asked her to go out couple of times. Not really asking her out, but just throwing ideas to her. She seems really receptive but tells me shes really busy and cant do anything until school is almost over except working on our research papers together. so my hope is not up...

I have another question tho, if she really likes me, would she go out of her way to go out with me? to text me like crazy? she has been kinda cold to me this week. I think she was just flirting with me to see if shes still got it. obviously she does. once I shown my interest she got what she wants, I'm nobody again. It's just one of my many theories about her... arg I seriously think too much about this.

Few things in random order... First of all, thank you for understanding where I was coming from... Not in this site but I've been told by people in my life that I can be a bit "harsh" or "abrasive" in the way I talk or when I state my opinion so I've been trying to work on that...

Second, as far as her facebook page goes, there are 2 possibilities, 3 depends on how you look at it... Again, I'm going off on that "benefit of doubt" theory... Obviously I don't know her so I can't understand her true intentions... That being said, best case scenario would be that she may have broken up with her boyfriend & she hasn't gotten a chance to clean up her facebook status yet... Or, she's still with her boyfriend but wants to break up... She's interested in you & trying to see how you feel about her before "pulling the trigger", or break up with him, as they say... Or, worst case scenario, she could be just a friendly person... It's quite possible that she may not realize she's leading you on... She sees it as harmless fun or just hanging out with a close friend... Worst that can come outta this for you would be gaining a good friend... Best would be gaining a girlfriend... Either way you look at it, I don't think it's that bad of a situation... And as for her being cold to you this week... It's possible that it's exactly what you said it was... Different people handle stress differently, as you know already... This might be her way of dealing with school related stress, a bit distant & cold, trying to focus on her school work... I wouldn't read to much into that...

Finally, no matter what happens, I wouldn't say you're nobody... There's an old tooth paste commercial... I think it was for colgate... Their catch phrase was, "millions of teeth can't be wrong"... Point is, there are people, including her, who wants to be, at least, your friend... When you consider yourself nobody, you're actually doubting their taste in people as well... Think of it this way... How low of an opinion do you have of them that all they can afford to be friends with are "nobody's"... If you think of it that way, puts a little twist on your thoughts & opinions of yourself, doesn't it? You're all good... No beat yourself up for it... I've always believed that it's better to regret things you have done than wish for the things you haven't done wondering what it would've been like...

Good luck with the situation & try to have fun... Keep us updated on how things pan out...

 

[Littlesecret]

I know that guy was/is her boyfriend because of her life events section, it said they became a couple. So for sure he was her boyfriend. Most pictures of them are all from last year. None of them are from 2014. We are supposed to work on research papers this weekend. I might ask her after. I hope she likes me because she is really awesome.

I dont want to be friendzoned though. But i also want to be careful. I got really hurt in my last relationship because I let my guard down and put everythin into it realy fast. When my ex left me I was shattered and devastated.

Anything I should or should not do so I dont get friendzoned?

Some people are naturally flirty so it's hard to read them, I've just come to the conclusion of letting the person know your interested. Either tell her you are, which I know is hard because of many factors especially because you work together but I think there is a way of saying it subtly, which doesn't make it awkward.
Ask about her weekend, what she got up too then when she asks about yours say something like 'I didn't do much just had this girl on my mind and didn't really know how to broach the subject on telling her how I feel, then perhaps ask for her advice.
Also watch her reaction, if a guy I liked asked me about another girl my face and words would be very telling. You could just come out and say it but you have to be so careful in work environments so I wouldn't advise that. Another thing you could do is let your relationship grow naturally, sometimes it just happens!
If I start liking someone in the future I've decided I'm just going to bite the bullet and tell them how I feel. A few months ago I would have never ever done this but I'm tired of regretting things, and ruminating things constantly over and over again, it's not worth the headache. Life is too bloody short!
I wish you the best.

 

[ardour]

If she's cheating on her current boyfriend would you really want much to do with her?

If she's just broken up with him - that's a short time to get interested in someone else - again, would you really someone who can hop from one relationship to the next that quickly?

Just ask about the situation in a way where she can't deflect it.

 

[1000lifetimes]

To be completely original on this thread - just ask her what the deal is .

She may be very unsatisfied with her current boyfriend - and she sees you as a viable alternative and improvement. if you act like a doormat she'll lose interest. Ask her what the deal is - and if she says she has a boyfriend - then it wasn't mean to be.

But do yourself a favor...if she wants to stay friends and all she does is complain about her boyfriend to you...tell her to get bent.

 

[SteveJackson]

She's into you. A girl will never spend time with someone she doesn't like. However, about the bf issue, don't be afraid to ask her. It's better to clarify all the issues about her before you started to get attached with her. Have the courage to ask about that thing to her. Nonetheless, if she tells you that she have a bf, try to distance yourself. It's a big big problem if she really has a bf.

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