Girls as Friends

[cheaptrickfan]

I want to be optimistic, however I can't be... I can only be realistic. I just need to get some anti-depressants that kill my sex drive and stay on those for the rest of my life.

If you are serious about meds, you should know that ADs don't have to kill your sex drive. Some of them do, Zoloft is notorious for that, but there are others which can help regulate your mood without the sexual side effects.

I do understand giving in to the apathy. The rest of us can rail at you until we're blue in the face but until you are ready to make changes this is where you are.

The alternative is to accept your situation and live with it willingly, but in order to make that bearable it includes a shift in thinking. You know, "like this is my life and... that's OK."

 

[AFrozenSoul]

@Badjedidude: Then what would be realistic?

@cheaptrickfan: Finally I get a name of a drug, Zoloft... need to schedule a physical and see if I can get some of that. I am only serious about the side-effects. I am not having any sex why care bother with a drug that won't kill my sex drive? It sounds like exactly what I need to get better.

I guess I am not mature or smart enough to make the changes. Not yet... but once I get some Zoloft I may be able too.

I am trying to lie to myself and say that my life is ok. I just have to keep saying it. Keep on justifying WHY I am in this situation. Just keep beating that wall of hope until it shatters and I fall into darkness. I am trying so desperatly hard to do that. My hope just won't give in though.

 

[mimi low]

i kinda agree with cheaptrickfan. you're in that place where you're fighting the things you do, and maybe things would be easier to deal with if you shifted to accepting the way things are.
the longer we fight things that are within us, the more impossible it becomes to get over them and make changes.
i think most of us go through phases in life. and this might just be one prolonged phase for you.
AFrozenSoul, i can't pretend to know you but from your posts, we can see that you wish things were way different. you've got a good heart. people have to go through phases to forge their character in the end.
and you're considering drugs... why not try something less drastic for a start? for e.g counselling?
my colleague's partner had cheating issues and he has been going for counselling since d beginning of the year, and it has really helped them.

 

[SophiaGrace]

I am trying to lie to myself and say that my life is ok. I just have to keep saying it. Keep on justifying WHY I am in this situation. Just keep beating that wall of hope until it shatters and I fall into darkness. I am trying so desperatly hard to do that. My hope just won't give in though.

This sounds like me when I'm depressed.

So far the wall has stood.

Probably your wall will stand too, despite what you may tell yourself.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

Good news everyone I don't have to worry about this any more. As the female caused me to spawn this god aweful thread has proven she could care less if I was her friend or not.

@mimi low: I guess I just don't want to accept things. I don't want to accept that a girl who I love is just exploring her feelings with another. I don't want to accept that I won't ever get another girl. I don't want to accept that I meet girls for sex. I don't want to accept that I am a loser who will never have anyone but the women who are 1000s of miles away telling me they wish they were my girlfriend.

I do not know how to find therapists nor am I sure I can afford to have someone teach me how to lie to myself.

@SophiaGrace: The wall will fall it has to fall how else am I supposed to get over my rejection? How am I supposed to start hating women again? How am I supposed to get lost in a fantasy world fueled by my anger?

 

[SophiaGrace]

Afrozensoul, your words disturb me...

 

[VanillaCreme]

Start hating women? I don't see the logic in that.

---

. . . she could care less if I was her friend or not.

As a female, I wouldn't want to be your friend either, seeing as you see friends as objects to satisfy your needs. And I certainly hope any respectable female would think twice before actually being your girlfriend. I couldn't even imagine how you see a girlfriend.

 

[Frodo Baggins]

Endorphins and the realigning of those feel good hormones of the body, to promote this require exercise and elevated heart beat for at least 30 minutes continuously each day.

I thoroughly recommend long walks. In bare feet. Not only will you get the benefit of the endorphins but also the feet tactility receptive. Why do you think hobbits always walked in bare feet and went on long hikes. It is not because here was not cars it is because they need the exercise.

Do this and you will be as cheery as a hobbit.

Thoughts of a negative predisposition will be able to be be dominated and the causes able to be managed. Without the readjustment then it is unlikely you will be in the right place to put effective strategies in place

 

[AFrozenSoul]

@SophiaGrace: How so?

@VanillaCreme: It is easier to live without something you hate. Hell I am not going to get any women ever again. I am too much of an ugly coward to ever woo a female. So might as well hate them that way I am glad they are not ruining my life. God it was so easy to hate them when I was a virgin.

You have a unique perspective on my mind. I am very capable of being a good friend. You are the first who has ever told me I would make a lousy boyfriend.

 

[VanillaCreme]

@SophiaGrace: How so?

@VanillaCreme: It is easier to live without something you hate. Hell I am not going to get any women ever again. I am too much of an ugly coward to ever woo a female. So might as well hate them that way I am glad they are not ruining my life. God it was so easy to hate them when I was a virgin.

You have a unique perspective on my mind. I am very capable of being a good friend. You are the first who has ever told me I would make a lousy boyfriend.

I never said you would absolutely be lousy. You think that yourself if you thought that. Now, I don't understand how you went from one extreme to the complete opposite extreme in like 5 posts. You went from wanting to be with this girl and liking her, to absolutely hating her. Was that the change you wanted to make?

 

[Brian]

I recently made a female friend. Or at least, I think I did.

Her name is Stacy and she's in my Biology class. She asked me to be her lab partner when I did really well on a test because she has a little trouble with it all. Maybe she initially just wanted someone to help her score and was using me...but we've come to talk somewhat easily about class work and other things, and we joke back and forth some.

This is very new to me. I don't think there's been another girl who's ever willingly spent so much time with me or talked to me so freely. At first I was terrified, and embarrassed because she's very good looking. But now it's not so bad. It's...kind of relaxing. I like that she laughs at my jokes some and pays attention when I talk. I've come to value her company and conversation and every night before class I go to sleep dearly hoping that she'll still want to do labs together the next day.

Maybe she just wants to hang out with the smart kid to do better in class. But she at least doesn't mind my company. I would like to think she's my friend, because I really like talking to her.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

@VanillaCreme: This thread had nothing to do with my feelings for her. That is just how things worked out. Plus I am still in a really shitty place. My emotions are all over the place.

 

[VanillaCreme]

@VanillaCreme: This thread had nothing to do with my feelings for her. That is just how things worked out. Plus I am still in a really shitty place. My emotions are all over the place.

You obviously must have had some feelings over her... whether it was in this thread or not. Honestly, I don't think you know what you want, and when you do, you don't know how to go about getting it. Think it out before you act on anything.

 

[Badjedidude]

I recently made a female friend. Or at least, I think I did.

Holy crap, Brian...awesome. Good luck widdit!

 

[AFrozenSoul]

@VanillaCreme: Yup I did have some feelings over her. I spent days, weeks even thinking it out. It got me no where. So don't worry about me going out and terrorizing poor women. I am done, given up case closed. I don't have to worry about being friends with women because women are not going to be a part of my life.

 

[Badjedidude]

I don't have to worry about being friends with women because women are not going to be a part of my life.

Well it looks like you've already made your decision. Any more discussion would just be wasted breath, because ultimately it's your choice...and if you've given up, then there's nothing more to say.

 

[Mike Moose]

..a friend is a friend..doesn't matter what rest room they use..

 

[VanillaCreme]

I don't have to worry about being friends with women because women are not going to be a part of my life.

Well it looks like you've already made your decision. Any more discussion would just be wasted breath, because ultimately it's your choice...and if you've given up, then there's nothing more to say.

Yes.

..a friend is a friend..doesn't matter what rest room they use..

And yes.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Someday there will be girls and women whose name will no longer mean the mere opposite of the male, but something in itself, something that makes one think not of any complement and limit, but only life and reality: the female human being.
Letter Seven (14 May 1904) Written by: Rainer Maria Rilke

 

[AFrozenSoul]

It is funny how people still find this thread ever after I gave up on it.