Going places by yourself

[Triple Bogey]

This time last year I found it hard. I felt self conscious and struggled to go somewhere new. Five years ago I never went anywhere. I just don't know what I did ? When I wasn't playing golf or working, I would spend my time just doing nothing at home.

But this year because of my interest in photography, I have started going places. At first it felt strange but I got used to it. I think it has slowly dawned on me. If I want to go anywhere it will have to be by myself. Never had any friends, or girlfriends, family members don't want to go anywhere.

So what about everybody else ?
Do you travel alone ? Go places by yourself ? Do you find it easy ? Or do you just stay in all the time ?

 

[Case]

So what about everybody else ?
Do you travel alone ? Go places by yourself ? Do you find it easy ? Or do you just stay in all the time ?

My first trip alone was from California to England. I really wanted to attend a Formula One Grand Prix, and this passion overcame any nervousness I might have had about traveling alone. I visited all sorts of places by myself, stayed as long as I liked, left whenever I wanted, ate where I wanted, and returned to my hotel when I wanted. It was actually really cool.

My most recent solo vacation was a few months ago when I went to took my first trip to Seattle. I had an itinerary and I stuck with it. I met some nice people, I saw some cool things, and I had a great time.

The pros of traveling alone are that I don't need to worry about anyone else's opinion on anything. If I want to go somewhere, I just go. There's a wonderful freedom in that, I think. The cons are that you have no one to share this experience with, and if you are not socially-wired, meeting new people can be difficult.

I also see movies alone all the time. It's only strange if you've never done it before. My first movie solo was such a long time ago that I don't even think about it. To me, the only thing I'm missing is having no one to chat about the movie afterward.

My biggest problem is going to restaurants alone. For the most part, I'm fine, but there are occasions where I'm given a crappy table, or I see people staring at "the lonely guy in the restaurant." But it doesn't happen that often, and the restaurant isn't going to turn away money because you're alone.

But, I *do* have my moments when I just want to stay in and not bother. I'm trying to reduce those moments as much as I can.

 

[Triple Bogey]

So what about everybody else ?
Do you travel alone ? Go places by yourself ? Do you find it easy ? Or do you just stay in all the time ?

My first trip alone was from California to England. I really wanted to attend a Formula One Grand Prix, and this passion overcame any nervousness I might have had about traveling alone. I visited all sorts of places by myself, stayed as long as I liked, left whenever I wanted, ate where I wanted, and returned to my hotel when I wanted. It was actually really cool.

My most recent solo vacation was a few months ago when I went to took my first trip to Seattle. I had an itinerary and I stuck with it. I met some nice people, I saw some cool things, and I had a great time.

The pros of traveling alone are that I don't need to worry about anyone else's opinion on anything. If I want to go somewhere, I just go. There's a wonderful freedom in that, I think. The cons are that you have no one to share this experience with, and if you are not socially-wired, meeting new people can be difficult.

I also see movies alone all the time. It's only strange if you've never done it before. My first movie solo was such a long time ago that I don't even think about it. To me, the only thing I'm missing is having no one to chat about the movie afterward.

My biggest problem is going to restaurants alone. For the most part, I'm fine, but there are occasions where I'm given a crappy table, or I see people staring at "the lonely guy in the restaurant." But it doesn't happen that often, and the restaurant isn't going to turn away money because you're alone.

But, I *do* have my moments when I just want to stay in and not bother. I'm trying to reduce those moments as much as I can.

I go to the cinema alone, done that for years. Always in the afternoon though because it's less packed. I wouldn't go anywhere to eat by myself, too embarrassing.

My photo trips are single days, not done anything more yet. I am planning on staying over next year, maybe 3 days somewhere. Only really because I am running out of places to go to in one day. I will probably find it a bit daunting.

On my photo trips I generally don't talk to anybody. A few words with this woman at this bus stop was about it and I went on about 9 trips. I am usually so pre occupied taking my photo's for it to bother me. People at work find it strange when I tell them. They are always asking me who I went with, I say 'by myself'

 

[Case]

I wouldn't go anywhere to eat by myself, too embarrassing.

When I started eating alone at a restaurant, I knew the fear was in my head, but it was still nervy. But then once I did it, the fear went away. Also, restaurant staff see solo eaters every day. Once I realized it was normal to them, I felt better about it.

On my photo trips I generally don't talk to anybody. A few words with this woman at this bus stop was about it and I went on about 9 trips. I am usually so pre occupied taking my photo's for it to bother me.

If you choose not to socialize because you're busy, I think that's okay. It would only be a problem if you suddenly wished you were more social on these trips.

People at work find it strange when I tell them. They are always asking me who I went with, I say 'by myself'

Well, the one person who really matters is you and whether you're comfortable with that. It seems that you are okay with it, so if others find it strange, that's their issue.

 

[Batman55]

Triple bogey, are you saying you literally have never had a friend to go some place in your adult life?

Didn't you say you went to the cinema with a friendly married woman for a long time? Doesn't that count?

In a lot of your posts it seems like you have at least a mildly active social life. I don't get it really, so many contradictions with you!

 

[Alyssia]

I stay in ALL the time, I don't drive and we only have one vehicle which is gone until hubby comes home and that isn't until late at night. It's not like I really can afford to go out anyways.

Going out alone in my opinion sucks lol, I hate it and it feels awkward, especially since I'm already socially awkward. Strangely enough before I got into a relationship with my hubby at 18, I never had an issue with it before.

Personally even though I am not a big fan of going out to places that are super busy, I am starting to miss going out because I realize just how much I am missing out, living my life. Hubby too is a homebody and loves to plant his butt on the couch on his days off, getting him to go out is impossible lol.

When I was 15, I loved going out for walks in the forest, on the dirt paths and mountain bike riding, Still wondering where everything went wrong haha.

 

[Triple Bogey]

Triple bogey, are you saying you literally have never had a friend to go some place in your adult life?

Didn't you say you went to the cinema with a friendly married woman for a long time? Doesn't that count?

In a lot of your posts it seems like you have at least a mildly active social life. I don't get it really, so many contradictions with you!

the cinema friend was between 2001 to 2008. Before and after I have always had to go by myself.

I don't have anybody to go on holidays with, never had that.
I don't have a social life. I play golf with these guys but don't see them elsewhere. I work with people, don't see any of them. I share the odd comment on facebook with them. I live with my Dad, I go and see my Mam once a week. I have a brother who lives in another city. I have a female friend who appears every once in a while and we have a coffee together. That's it. I've never had a close friend in my adult life, not really.

---

I wouldn't go anywhere to eat by myself, too embarrassing.

When I started eating alone at a restaurant, I knew the fear was in my head, but it was still nervy. But then once I did it, the fear went away. Also, restaurant staff see solo eaters every day. Once I realized it was normal to them, I felt better about it.

On my photo trips I generally don't talk to anybody. A few words with this woman at this bus stop was about it and I went on about 9 trips. I am usually so pre occupied taking my photo's for it to bother me.

If you choose not to socialize because you're busy, I think that's okay. It would only be a problem if you suddenly wished you were more social on these trips.

People at work find it strange when I tell them. They are always asking me who I went with, I say 'by myself'

Well, the one person who really matters is you and whether you're comfortable with that. It seems that you are okay with it, so if others find it strange, that's their issue.

I am quite cool with not talking to anybody on my trips.

 

[Jovi88]

This time last year I found it hard. I felt self conscious and struggled to go somewhere new. Five years ago I never went anywhere. I just don't know what I did ? When I wasn't playing golf or working, I would spend my time just doing nothing at home.

But this year because of my interest in photography, I have started going places. At first it felt strange but I got used to it. I think it has slowly dawned on me. If I want to go anywhere it will have to be by myself. Never had any friends, or girlfriends, family members don't want to go anywhere.

So what about everybody else ?
Do you travel alone ? Go places by yourself ? Do you find it easy ? Or do you just stay in all the time ?

I once go to cinema alone. Few times eat in a restaurant alone. But i never travel alone, fortunately i have a friend that i can travel with. So we often travel, just the two of us, and my friends at office think that it's weird, travelling just 2 persons. They often travel with large groups of people, which i don't prefer at all.

 

[Cucuboth]

I go some places alone. Obviously, you just have to. I used to go to the cinema, but I stopped doing that quite a while ago. Same with going out to lunch or dinner alone. I got fed up with it. And despite what people might say, I found we're often treated differently if we're alone (at restaurants in particular). I'd love to travel, both in my own country (Australia), and overseas. But I want to share that with someone, and it's important to me to be able to do that.

But I don't have any friends to do anything with, so ....

 

[Case]

I am quite cool with not talking to anybody on my trips.

I wish I had that ability.

 

[Klemon]

I did my first holiday trip on my own ever just last week. It was just three nights and, as I'm privileged to live in the South Island of New Zealand, my destinations in Central Otago & the Queenstown/Lakes districts weren't far away at all. The key for me was to have a plan of plenty of things I wanted to do, and to travel slowly and to stop at as many landmarks and lookouts as I could. Less downtime meant less boredom and less opportunity for the loneliness to sink in. The trip also included the first ever time I ate out sitting at a table for one (three times!), which wasn't nearly as scary as I thought it would be.

I did have a couple of "moments" though, I took a short cruise on a steamer across the lake at Queenstown, and while it's a lot of fun and really interesting to look right inside the engine room, it was really crowded and not very "single-friendly", and at the meal I was very conscious of the fact that there were a LOT of people in the room and I was the only one alone - at least the other places I ate at weren't so crowded. Also, on the last day when I finished everything I had planned to do, I felt a little down for the afternoon at the hotel, but after a meal and a couple of drinks and a very friendly hostess who made me feel at ease and even offered me some reading material while I waited for my meal, I felt much better.

I was really tentative in the days leading up to my trip about what it would be like as it was a completely new experience for me to do something like that on my own, but overall I really enjoyed myself and look forward to being able to do similar holidays in the future. I'd love to be able to take someone special there one day, they just need to do me the courtesy of existing first!

 

[Triple Bogey]

I did my first holiday trip on my own ever just last week. It was just three nights and, as I'm privileged to live in the South Island of New Zealand, my destinations in Central Otago & the Queenstown/Lakes districts weren't far away at all. The key for me was to have a plan of plenty of things I wanted to do, and to travel slowly and to stop at as many landmarks and lookouts as I could. Less downtime meant less boredom and less opportunity for the loneliness to sink in. The trip also included the first ever time I ate out sitting at a table for one (three times!), which wasn't nearly as scary as I thought it would be.

I did have a couple of "moments" though, I took a short cruise on a steamer across the lake at Queenstown, and while it's a lot of fun and really interesting to look right inside the engine room, it was really crowded and not very "single-friendly", and at the meal I was very conscious of the fact that there were a LOT of people in the room and I was the only one alone - at least the other places I ate at weren't so crowded. Also, on the last day when I finished everything I had planned to do, I felt a little down for the afternoon at the hotel, but after a meal and a couple of drinks and a very friendly hostess who made me feel at ease and even offered me some reading material while I waited for my meal, I felt much better.

I was really tentative in the days leading up to my trip about what it would be like as it was a completely new experience for me to do something like that on my own, but overall I really enjoyed myself and look forward to being able to do similar holidays in the future. I'd love to be able to take someone special there one day, they just need to do me the courtesy of existing first!

nice reading that

I think I might go in May for my first 3 day holiday.

 

[SofiasMami]

I've gone to movies alone, the first time I did I was nervous and felt like a freak but it was a movie I really wanted to see. Then I saw other solo movie patrons and didn't feel so freakish.

Before my kid came along, if I wanted to do most anything, I had to do it alone and I hated it. Now I have my kid but hanging out with a 7 year old is not the same as hanging out with an adult!
Sometimes when I need an adult conversation, I take her to a local art museum and I talk with the docents (whose job it is to talk to people). Making small talk with strangers is something I'm just not good at.
Someday she will be an adult and have her own life. Not sure what I'll do then. Probably go back to being a hermit or force myself to talk with people.

I've been wanting to take up photography, good for you for stepping outside your comfort zone a little.

-Teresa

 

[Triple Bogey]

I've gone to movies alone, the first time I did I was nervous and felt like a freak but it was a movie I really wanted to see. Then I saw other solo movie patrons and didn't feel so freakish.

Before my kid came along, if I wanted to do most anything, I had to do it alone and I hated it. Now I have my kid but hanging out with a 7 year old is not the same as hanging out with an adult!
Sometimes when I need an adult conversation, I take her to a local art museum and I talk with the docents (whose job it is to talk to people). Making small talk with strangers is something I'm just not good at.
Someday she will be an adult and have her own life. Not sure what I'll do then. Probably go back to being a hermit or force myself to talk with people.

I've been wanting to take up photography, good for you for stepping outside your comfort zone a little.

-Teresa

Teresa - Photography has changed my life, I have been to so many places this year. I never used to go anywhere. It is a great reason to get out and about, visit different places and you don't need other people.

 

[WallflowerGirl83]

In the beginning, I used to hate doing things on my own cause in the end I was too worried about what other people would think of me. Now I go off to the movies alone and it doesn't seem to bother me at all. I'm a pretty relaxed person and going alone is nice cause I usually get lost in my thoughts. Anytime something spots my eye, I'll walk over and check it out. It's not something everyone can do, but I have no problem going to the mall or movies alone. I'm not the type of person who would travel alone though, I flew on a plane before to visit my friend but I'd never go to States all by myself, I'd definitely want someone there for me. That's how I feel about traveling alone right now, but who knows this could change for me one day too.

 

[Moe'sTavern]

I always go to places by myself. Most of time I don't mind it. In fact, I prefer it. Although, there a times where I would like a companion to go with. Either way it's not a big deal to me.

 

[thegreyman]

I'm used to travelling alone. On a good holiday, I see enough interesting and beautiful new things to keep the thoughts of loneliness and desolation at bay for part of the time. Yet they always do tend to creep in, at times. Travel would be so much more enriching if I had a good friend with whom to share it, but I cannot see any prospect of that on the horizon.

I have no friends whatever and even when I have had one (never more than a couple at any time), they're usually not the type of friend with whom I can actually do things (either because they are not inclined towards participating in any kind of activity, or because they are an internet friend).

I won't ever go to eat in a restaurant if I'm travelling somewhere, except by absolute necessity (if there are no other options). Eating alone in a restaurant is an embarrassing experience. However, I don't see what's wrong with going to the cinema alone - that's one venue where I have little use for a companion.

 

[Triple Bogey]

my brother told me today, he is going to Malta by himself in a couple of days

 

[lonelyfairy]

I always go for places alone. It's little easier every day but still sometimes finding it hard because of social anxiety.

 

[Hawx79]

I travel alone as well to places such as Italy, France, Ukraine and Egypt. I even put up my tent on the mountains and sleep there by myself. I also get the remarks from people looking weird at me and saying they would never do that alone. My reply to that is that it's better to go alone then to spend the whole year at home wishing you had someone to go travel with