grundel70
Well-known member
This is to piggy back off of my post…
http://www.alonelylife.com/so-guy-have-never-been-on-date-before-t-4854.html
One of the points I was trying to make with the above post is that it is ok if you are ‘older’ and have never been with a girl! I was also trying to use my own example to show that as long as you put a little bit of effort into yourself that it will happen.
However, I also think that some guys simply don’t know how. They have no clue how to ‘get a girl’ or simply talk to one. I am hoping to help a little bit with this post.
Before I start, however, I want to say that I myself am no cassanova. I have failed a lot at this. Despite that, however, I have had my moments.
First of all you all should know that it is not about looks. I will say that again…the dating game is NOT about looks. For every girl out there that wants a perfect body on their man there is a girl that likes skinny men…or fat guys…or bald guys…or African/american guys…or Asians…or Latinos…
Same goes for girls. Most of the guy friends I have are NOT into super models. My best friend is a chubby chaser…he likes fat girls. I mean he LOVES them. He married a girl that was in good shape. I was surprised by this until I saw them this year at Christmas. She had put on a lot of weight...I know he is loving that…
You have to get out into the world. If you sit at home you won’t meet anyone. If you don’t interact with anyone when you are out then you won’t meet anyone. Just get out of the house! Go places. Be a part of the world. Yes, it may be painful to see couples…but you will never become a couple if you don’t at least get out into the world. You can’t win a game you don’t even try to play…
That is just the first step. Once you are out there you will eventually need to interact with someone. In some cases, a outgoing young lady may approach you. Personally this has happened to me only once, it was recently. In 38 years one time…so based on those odds I would not expect it. Maybe you are a good looking guy…that of course will increase the chances of this happening. I personally won’t bet on it though…
If there is a girl you fancy then you will need to talk to her. The best and easiest way to do this is to simply go up and say ‘Hi!’. That is it. If you are afraid of saying anything more then this will help you gain confidence. I promise you nothing bad will happen! The worse case is they will laugh at you and walk away. The best case is they will be talk your ear off cause they think you are cute! If they laugh at you, then that is ok! I will be shocked if this happens, but if it does so be it. Take it like a man and move on. You will NOT be the first guy that got rejected or laughed at by a girl! It is part of the whole ‘game’.
Another thing that works well is complimenting them! A simple ‘Hi! I just wanted to say that I thought you looked really pretty’. That is it. It is not a hard thing to say, and I promise you that they will not be mean back to you. What you will probably get is a ‘thanks’. Now if they seem distant or maybe caught off guard, then that probably means they are not interested…so you just move on. On the other hand you come across one that is like ‘awwww thank you! That is so sweet!’. Then they will talk to you! If you are shy then tell them! Smile and say ‘I ‘m sorry, I am just a little shy is all’. A lot of girls like shy guys!! At least then they will know why you don’t talk much and they may end up talking your ear off! My first wife loved how shy I was.
Maybe talking to them is daunting. Maybe you just can’t work up the nerve. There are other things you can do. Give them a flower. Write a note saying what it is you are having trouble saying outloud. Sometimes that will break the ice.
If you work or go to school with them then maybe hint to someone that knows you both you like them. The word will get around and that may spur them to take action! It may also help you weed them out if they are not interested. I have done this before and I will say this is a more nerve wracking way of doing it. It takes time laying down all f the hints. Then it takes time for the ‘word’ to get to your target you like them. Then you have to wait and see how they react…
The bottom line is that you have to try something. That is all you have to do. Just try. Yes, you will fail. You will be rejected. You will be laughed at. Expect this! When it happens you will find out that it really isn’t that bad. The more you try, the easier it becomes. You will learn what works for you, and what doesn’t. You will learn what you feel comfortable with, and what makes you nervous. And eventually you will gain confidence in yourself! You have to keep trying though. If you fail 10 times, try 10 more. If you fail 100 times, try 100 more. Don’t give up! Don’t say ‘well I talked to a couple girls and they laughed at me…I guess no one wants me…’ All that means is that you ran into 10 mean girls. That probably means the chances are you won’t run into any more for a long time! Either that or your approach is wrong! Try something different! (Hey *****, want to fornicate? May not be the best line…)
Lastly, you will need to also try and fix some things about yourself before you really try and get into a relationship. I am not saying that depressed, lonely, or messed up folks can’t get a date. But what I am saying is that in many cases when you do finally get one it will be especially hard. Try to get your ship on the right track. If you think you are fat then work out. If you think you are ugly then dress nice. If having no money bums you out then get a job! If you are completely depressed, alone, and constantly negative then getting a girl will not solve that problem. Relationships are stressful. You worry a lot about them (if you care that is), they worry about you. You will see them mad. You will see them cry. You will see them at their most unlovable moments. And they will see you too as well. You will see them sick. Angry. Sad. Crazy. Weird. You will be nagged. You may nag them. You will be snapped at, and you may snap back. You will argue. You will not agree with something they say or do. They will have friends or family that will not like you, and you not liking them. You will see that look in their eye and think ‘crap…what did I do?’. You will get that feeling in the pit of your stomach that is indescribable to anyone that just hasn’t felt it yet. The old ‘Crap I am in the dog house’ feeling. Let me tell you, it sucks.’.
Also remember. If this is your first relationship, it will probably not work. I don’t want to discourage you, but that is simply the truth. Like anything it will probably take a couple tries. Learn from it what you can. When it finally is over, you will know what being broken hearted is. You will know pain like no other. Longing. Suffering. You will cry like a baby. Welcome to manhood!
Hope this helps you guys!
http://www.alonelylife.com/so-guy-have-never-been-on-date-before-t-4854.html
One of the points I was trying to make with the above post is that it is ok if you are ‘older’ and have never been with a girl! I was also trying to use my own example to show that as long as you put a little bit of effort into yourself that it will happen.
However, I also think that some guys simply don’t know how. They have no clue how to ‘get a girl’ or simply talk to one. I am hoping to help a little bit with this post.
Before I start, however, I want to say that I myself am no cassanova. I have failed a lot at this. Despite that, however, I have had my moments.
First of all you all should know that it is not about looks. I will say that again…the dating game is NOT about looks. For every girl out there that wants a perfect body on their man there is a girl that likes skinny men…or fat guys…or bald guys…or African/american guys…or Asians…or Latinos…
Same goes for girls. Most of the guy friends I have are NOT into super models. My best friend is a chubby chaser…he likes fat girls. I mean he LOVES them. He married a girl that was in good shape. I was surprised by this until I saw them this year at Christmas. She had put on a lot of weight...I know he is loving that…
You have to get out into the world. If you sit at home you won’t meet anyone. If you don’t interact with anyone when you are out then you won’t meet anyone. Just get out of the house! Go places. Be a part of the world. Yes, it may be painful to see couples…but you will never become a couple if you don’t at least get out into the world. You can’t win a game you don’t even try to play…
That is just the first step. Once you are out there you will eventually need to interact with someone. In some cases, a outgoing young lady may approach you. Personally this has happened to me only once, it was recently. In 38 years one time…so based on those odds I would not expect it. Maybe you are a good looking guy…that of course will increase the chances of this happening. I personally won’t bet on it though…
If there is a girl you fancy then you will need to talk to her. The best and easiest way to do this is to simply go up and say ‘Hi!’. That is it. If you are afraid of saying anything more then this will help you gain confidence. I promise you nothing bad will happen! The worse case is they will laugh at you and walk away. The best case is they will be talk your ear off cause they think you are cute! If they laugh at you, then that is ok! I will be shocked if this happens, but if it does so be it. Take it like a man and move on. You will NOT be the first guy that got rejected or laughed at by a girl! It is part of the whole ‘game’.
Another thing that works well is complimenting them! A simple ‘Hi! I just wanted to say that I thought you looked really pretty’. That is it. It is not a hard thing to say, and I promise you that they will not be mean back to you. What you will probably get is a ‘thanks’. Now if they seem distant or maybe caught off guard, then that probably means they are not interested…so you just move on. On the other hand you come across one that is like ‘awwww thank you! That is so sweet!’. Then they will talk to you! If you are shy then tell them! Smile and say ‘I ‘m sorry, I am just a little shy is all’. A lot of girls like shy guys!! At least then they will know why you don’t talk much and they may end up talking your ear off! My first wife loved how shy I was.
Maybe talking to them is daunting. Maybe you just can’t work up the nerve. There are other things you can do. Give them a flower. Write a note saying what it is you are having trouble saying outloud. Sometimes that will break the ice.
If you work or go to school with them then maybe hint to someone that knows you both you like them. The word will get around and that may spur them to take action! It may also help you weed them out if they are not interested. I have done this before and I will say this is a more nerve wracking way of doing it. It takes time laying down all f the hints. Then it takes time for the ‘word’ to get to your target you like them. Then you have to wait and see how they react…
The bottom line is that you have to try something. That is all you have to do. Just try. Yes, you will fail. You will be rejected. You will be laughed at. Expect this! When it happens you will find out that it really isn’t that bad. The more you try, the easier it becomes. You will learn what works for you, and what doesn’t. You will learn what you feel comfortable with, and what makes you nervous. And eventually you will gain confidence in yourself! You have to keep trying though. If you fail 10 times, try 10 more. If you fail 100 times, try 100 more. Don’t give up! Don’t say ‘well I talked to a couple girls and they laughed at me…I guess no one wants me…’ All that means is that you ran into 10 mean girls. That probably means the chances are you won’t run into any more for a long time! Either that or your approach is wrong! Try something different! (Hey *****, want to fornicate? May not be the best line…)
Lastly, you will need to also try and fix some things about yourself before you really try and get into a relationship. I am not saying that depressed, lonely, or messed up folks can’t get a date. But what I am saying is that in many cases when you do finally get one it will be especially hard. Try to get your ship on the right track. If you think you are fat then work out. If you think you are ugly then dress nice. If having no money bums you out then get a job! If you are completely depressed, alone, and constantly negative then getting a girl will not solve that problem. Relationships are stressful. You worry a lot about them (if you care that is), they worry about you. You will see them mad. You will see them cry. You will see them at their most unlovable moments. And they will see you too as well. You will see them sick. Angry. Sad. Crazy. Weird. You will be nagged. You may nag them. You will be snapped at, and you may snap back. You will argue. You will not agree with something they say or do. They will have friends or family that will not like you, and you not liking them. You will see that look in their eye and think ‘crap…what did I do?’. You will get that feeling in the pit of your stomach that is indescribable to anyone that just hasn’t felt it yet. The old ‘Crap I am in the dog house’ feeling. Let me tell you, it sucks.’.
Also remember. If this is your first relationship, it will probably not work. I don’t want to discourage you, but that is simply the truth. Like anything it will probably take a couple tries. Learn from it what you can. When it finally is over, you will know what being broken hearted is. You will know pain like no other. Longing. Suffering. You will cry like a baby. Welcome to manhood!
Hope this helps you guys!
